Angry
“Is he sleeping again?” Joey asked, poking his head into JC’s room.
Justin nodded, eyes closed. “He’s been sleeping since we got back.”
“Should I go? I don’t want to wake him.”
“No. He’ll just lay there anyway, even if you do wake him.”
Joey sighed and strode into the room, letting the door click shut behind him. “What’s going on with him, J?”
“I wish I knew,” Justin said sadly, his eyes locked on the lump of covers that was JC. “He’s just so…lost.”
“What happened today at his appointment?”
“The doctor asked him to explain what was wrong. And he couldn’t. He got really upset, and yelled at her.”
“That’s not like him, man.”
“I know.”
“So then what?”
“Then I asked the doctor to leave for a minute, and he just…he curled up against me and sobbed on my shoulder.”
“This is fvcked up, man.”
Justin nodded, eyes still fixed on the bed where JC lay.
“I’m gonna go, man. You need anything, you just holler, ok?”
Another nod, and Joey patted Justin’s shoulder. “He’s gonna be ok, kid. He’s just gotta work through some stuff is all.”
“Thanks, Joe.”
Justin waited until he heard the door close behind Joey before crawling up onto JC’s bed. He stared down at the older man’s sleeping form, the way his chest rose and fell in a set rhythm.
“What’s the matter with you, Josh?” he whispered, reaching forward, hesitantly, to brush a lock of hair out of JC’s face.
JC’s eyes snapped open, and Justin jumped. “C, man, I thought you were sleeping,” he chuckled. “You scared the hell out of—“
“What the hell do you want, Justin?” JC snapped, jerking his body away from Justin’s.
Justin jaw dropped in shock. “Huh? I was just—“
“You were just what? Hovering over me like I’m going to break in half?”
“No, Josh, I was—“
“It doesn’t matter, Justin. Just leave me alone, ok?”
“But I—“
“I don’t fvcking care, Justin! I don’t need another mother! Now get the hell out of my room.”
Hot tears filled Justin’s eyes and he turned away as he stood up, shuffling towards the door.
“OUT, Justin!”
“Fine! Fine, JC. Fvck you too!” he shouted, slamming the door behind him before collapsing on the floor outside JC’s room, tears spilling down his cheeks.
JC sighed in irritation, throwing the covers off of his nude form. He wasn’t quite sure when this angry feeling had built up inside him, but he decided that it was surely better than feeling so damn depressed all the time.
He closed his eyes again, fighting against the twist he felt in his gut.
Justin.
He opened his eyes. Blinked. Sat up.
“Justin?” he called. No answer. “Justin?” A little louder this time. He threw his legs over the side of the bed and walked to the door, opening it just a crack. Justin, who was leaning against it, fell back slightly, face buried between his knees. “Justin?”
“What.”
“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
“Fine.”
“You wanna come back in?”
Justin stood up and brushed the tears from his cheeks, still not facing JC. “No. Fvck you, JC.”
JC’s heart nearly beat through his chest as Justin walked away, and he slammed the door in frustration, pounding his hand against the wall. “Fvck!”
A knock on his door startled him, and he swung it open, hoping it was Justin.
“What the hell just happened in here, C?” Lance asked.
“What do you want, Lance?”
“Well, you’re in hear screaming ‘fvck’ and pounding on the wall. I guess I was just wondering what was up.” Lance suddenly realized that JC wasn’t wearing anything. “And you’re naked.”
“Yes. I am, and if you’ll excuse me,” he said, spinning on his heels and walking to the bathroom, slamming yet another door.
He let the hot water beat down on his back, scalding him, hoping to burn away everything he was feeling. His anger was as hot as the water, and he couldn’t figure it out.
All he knew is that every emotion he had felt since this thing had started had something to do with Justin.