Part 5


Slowing Down

Slow.

Yeah, that would be the word Justin would use to describe JC today.

Slow.

Not deliberate, not intent…

Slow.

Strange, he thought, the one person could suddenly start moving in slow motion. JC hadn’t been this way the day before.

Well, he’d been lying around all day, and Justin supposed that was probably why he hadn’t noticed the dramatic change in speed, but today JC looked like it was taking a major effort just to move.

His face held a constant grimace. He looked like he was in pain, and Justin figured physical pain probably wasn’t they type of pain we were talking about here.

Something inside JC was eating away at him. Slowing him down.

“JC?”

“Hmm?” he answered, not looking up, grimace not disappearing.

“You ok?”

“Mmm,” JC grunted, unmoving.

“You ready for the appointment today?”

And that did it. The grimace disappeared, and Justin was almost happy with himself.

Until he saw the look that replaced it.

Fear.

“Um…you still want me to go with you?”

JC nodded slowly, avoiding Justin’s face just as he had been the past however many days it had been. Justin had lost count by now.

“Ok…well I’m gonna go shower…you need anything you let me know, ok?”

Another slow nod.

“And JC?”

“Hmm.”

“Smile.”

The grimace returned.

***

JC was silent on the ride to the doctor. Justin just stared at him, wondering why JC hadn’t noticed and looked up in irritation yet.

He can’t see me, he thought. Or so he says.

“JC?”

He didn’t answer, just nodded his head in that slow fashion that was starting to get on Justin’s nerves.

“Why won’t you look at me?”

“No point,” JC whispered, closing his eyes.

“Why?”

“Can’t see you anyway.” His heart felt heavy in his chest, and the clouds in his head were getting darker.

“I don’t understand, Josh,” Justin said softly, scooting across the smooth leather seat to get closer to JC. “Please help me understand.”

I don’t even understand.”

Justin’s heart broke.

***

“He’s blurry,” JC said slowly, closing his eyes again. He seemed to be doing that a lot, too, and Justin wondered if maybe very soon he was going to stop moving all together.

“Blurry?”

JC nodded, or rather let his head fall forward once, eyes still closed.

“When did this start to happen?”

“When I started to feel like this.”

“Like what?”

“This!” JC snapped, waving a hand in the air.

“JC, you have to explain what this is or I can’t help you.”

“Fine!” he exclaimed, and it was the most energy Justin had seen out of him since…well, since this whole thing started. “Don’t help me then.” With that, he slowly brought his knees to his chest and buried his face between them. Even his breathing was slow.

“Can I…can I have a minute alone with him?” Justin said softly.

The doctor sighed and nodded, gathering her notes as she strode from the office, locking the door behind her.

“Josh,” Justin said, placing a comforting hand on JC’s lower back. “Come on, man, talk to me.”

JC lifted his head and looked at the blurry face in front of him.

“Help me,” he croaked, burying his face in Justin’s neck, slow sobs shaking his body. “I can’t see you.”

As Justin wrapped his arms around his friend, he felt his own heart slow down in pain.



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