Part 3
For Me
“I want you to see a
doctor,” Justin said, barging into JC’s room, unannounced, on the eighteenth
day.
“What?”
“I can’t take this anymore. I can’t handle seeing you like this. You need
help, JC. Something’s wrong, and you need help.”
JC squinted. He knew Justin was in the room; he could hear his voice. His eyes
darted back and forth, following the blurry figure, assuming that Justin was
pacing.
A slight twist in his gut caused him to wince. There it was again.
“Justin, stop pacing. You’re making me dizzy.”
“And then there’s that!” Justin shouted, stopping his movements. “How am
I making you dizzy, C? Huh? Explain it to me!”
“I can’t…” JC whispered, burrowing deeper into his bed, which had become
his favorite place in the past few days.
"Fuck that, Josh. FUCK THAT.” Justin rung his hands angrily, fighting
back the tears the threatened to spill down his cheeks. He took a deep breath,
calming himself down, and sat on the bed next to JC. He gently pulled back the
comforter, revealing JC’s face.
If it was possible, Justin thought he could actually feel his heart breaking in
his chest. JC’s eyes were open, staring straight ahead.
But those weren’t JC’s eyes that Justin was looking at.
JC’s eyes were bright. And smiling. And dancing.
These eyes were dull. Completely lackluster. Almost…dead.
“Josh, please…” Justin begged, stroking JC’s cheek lightly.
JC didn’t even flinch at the touch. He continued to stare straight ahead,
afraid to look at Justin.
“Look at me, Josh. I’m your best friend…I hate seeing you like this…please,
look at me.”
He took a deep breath, squeezed his eyes shut, and turned his head towards
Justin, exhaling as he opened his eyes.
Nothing.
Just a blur.
No bright blue eyes, no blinding smile, no knowing smirk.
A blur.
He didn’t even try to stop the tears from flowing.
“Shh, Josh,” Justin whispered, gathering the older man in his arms and
rocking him back and forth. “It’s ok. It’s gonna be ok…”
“Can’t…” JC gasped, wringing Justin’s shirt in his hands, trying to
get as close to him as possible. “See…can’t see…”
“Can’t see what, Josh?
“You,” JC choked. “You. I can’t see you.”
“You need help, Josh,” Justin whispered.
“No,” JC argued, shaking his head furiously. “No.”
“For me?” Justin asked, cupping JC’s face in his hands. “For me,
Josh.”
He felt the familiar twist inside and nodded, closing his eyes to block out the
blur.
next
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