Cry FLASHBACK Justin
unconsciously licked his lips; the small gesture was more than enough. Ever so
briefly, his tongue touched JC’s bottom lip. JC’s eyes slamming shut at the
contact he leaned forward into the touch. Their lips meet in a soft butterfly
kiss. The loud sound
of the lock clicking on the door blasted through the peaceful beauty that was
their first kiss. They both jumped back from the other stunned to silence. Joey, Lance,
and Chris entered the room stopping in their tracks at the sight before them. Two men about
as far away from each other on a couch as you could get without sitting in
another chair. Red faces, shaky breathing, their eyes making them look like the
proverbial deer in headlights. They kissed!!! They all thought glancing at each other knowingly. FLASHBACK ENDS I'll always remember It was late afternoon It lasted forever And ended too soon Justin and JC
had been avoiding the probing looks the guys were giving them for days now. They
didn’t even know what was going on let alone trying to explain it to someone
else. They’d kissed. It was a little kiss barely a touch of the lips but it
was enough to send both their minds and worlds into a tornado of emotions. Justin could
only think of one reason behind JC’s actions. He was playing with him. In his
saner mind he knew that JC would never do something like that but that was the
only thing he was capable of thinking. It had all been too perfect, that entire
day, so it had to be a set up. JC didn’t
know what to think. He was still sure that Justin was in a relationship, he was
always talking to someone on the phone, it had to be Him…. whoever ‘He’
was. That thought made him feel so guilty and jealous all at once that he
couldn’t take it. Their friends
were just as confused as the two of them. They had suspected that the two had
feelings for each other. Now they both were avoiding each other and avoiding
talking about anything to do with the other. The guys were worried. This never
happened. JC and Justin had never gone out of their way to stay apart. There was
a connection between the two that no one had ever really understood. They
always hugged each other, comforted each other. When the group had started out
Justin had naturally fallen back into the comforting arms JC offered since the
MMC. They had a relationship that was so set that people knew that they were
meant to meet each other, when they were together they radiated a happiness, a
feeling of completeness that people understood as them being best friends then.
No one was the wiser. Until now, at least now their friends were starting to
take notice of the feelings beneath the actions. The morning they’d started
acting strange had been a small instance. Josh had gone out of his way to save
food for Justin when the cleanup crew was starting to clear out the buffet
because Justin was yet again late, taking forever and a day to roll out of bed.
Its not that he’d saved him food, but that he’d specifically gotten all of
Justin’s favorites, even having them make Justin more bacon when he saw there
was none left. They
had always taken care of each other. They both definitely had their moments
where they’d back away now and then, everyone needed space now and then but it
had never lasted more than a day. When Josh retreated into his own world of
music, lyrics, staring into nothingness, Justin backed off because he knew that
JC needed time to work out whatever feelings were driving him to the pen and
paper before him. Though now that the guys really thought back, that had been
going on a lot more lately. Justin had kept his space now
and then in the past from them all, usually they chalked it up to him and
Britney fighting but it was obvious that had not been the case. In fact, when
he’d turned away from the group to ‘concentrate on Justin’ he’d often
done it because he was too close to the edge. He’d be on the brink of letting
his feelings over rule his brain, letting his body act on the natural impulse to
wrap an arm around JC’s waist while they walked, hold his hand, brush away
that stray hair that always seemed to get in his face during rehearsals. He’d
be on the edge of letting himself indulge in staring at the beauty of the man he
loved, and he hadn’t been ready then. JC
walked up to the roof. He and Justin had been doing everything under the sun to
avoid talking about what happened. Neither of them knew where to or even how to
start the conversation they desperately needed to have. After thinking over all
that had happened JC had finally come to the decision that if things were this
weird now and they’d just barely kissed then if by some weird play of fate
Justin had feelings for him there was no other choice. He would have to turn him
down. A
relationship between the two would risk too much. He cherished being able to
call Justin his best friend, even though they sometimes had their differences he
always looked to Justin in times when he needed a shoulder to cry on, or just
someone to hang with when he was bored. There was no way he could risk loosing
that in any way. Besides, Justin probably only kissed him out of some unknown
sense of need. He probably missed his boyfriend and was lonely. That’s all
it was JC tried telling himself. It was starting to get dark outside.
They’d been on the go all morning but had the night off, concert scheduled for
the next night. JC had finally been confronted by Lance a half hour earlier. FLASHBACK JC
was sitting in a chair on the balcony staring off into the distance. It was an
average day, not sunny, but not bad weather either. The forecast for that night
was for a storm but right now everything was calm. JC heard the glass door
behind him slide open. Hesitant footsteps walked out, closing the door behind
them. Lance
stood in silence just watching JC for a minute. He really didn’t know why JC
and Justin were avoiding this. The guys had thought that maybe they’d shared
some kind of ‘moment’ a few nights back but where they thought it would just
bring the two closer, make them act on the feelings that their friends could
obviously see under the surface, instead it had pushed them apart. Lance
took in a breath turning his attention to the setting sun. “JC, talk to me
man” he began. “I don’t know what to say
Lance,” JC sighed. “Why are you acting this
way…? None of us have ever seen you or Justin keep this kind of distance
between you for this long…there’s something wrong with the world when the
two of you aren’t glued to each other day in and day out. I mean…sure
you’ve done this kinda thing before…space and all but never this long and
never with this kind of tension.” Lance paused unsure of how to continue his
probing of exactly what had happened between his two friends. “Lance, it-it was so wonderful.
That whole day was just so perfect…” JC took in a shaky breath, “I don’t
know…we hung out like old times got ice cream and came back to chill ya know…”
JC smiled. “You two had fun that day?”
Lance smiled slightly at the wistful look on his band mates face. “Yea…it
was cool, it wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done…bow down to the
gods of jeans because that outfit Ju had on drove me crazy!! It’s illegal
to look that hot in a pair of jeans and a sweater…I mean…hot…pure hotness!”
JC chuckled lightly. Lance laughed at that comment.
“Well what happened that made things like they are now?” JC
shook his head. “We were here after we got the ice cream we came back here to
relax. It was normal. We were sharing ice cream, you know how we both like the
same kinds, it was…nice, JC smiled, well anyway…we were talking and just
hanging out and I noticed that there was only a little bit of my ice cream left
and Justin scooped it up and brought it up for me. Its like my brain forgot how
to function. My heart was slamming against my chest so hard I just knew he could
hear it. I ate it, Lance I don’t know how….I just noticed a little left of
the other ice cream so I scooped it up. I was going to eat it myself but I
looked at him and its like I couldn’t resist, so I fed it to him. Lance, oh my
gosh, the look on his face…so absolutely gorgeous.” JC sighed and paused to
bring his shaky breathing to normal. Lance
sat silently in shock at hearing what happened; patiently waiting for what he
was sure came next. “I
sat there looking at the _expression on his face, it was like someone just took
away all the common sense I had, I couldn’t help it…I kissed him” he
finished. FLASHBACK ENDS Justin
was scared. He really didn’t know what to do. He wanted to explain to JC but
after the way he left when the guys walked in on them that afternoon he just
couldn’t. He was hurt enough on the inside to try and talk to JC about it. That
day when the guys had walked in Justin and JC had sat there for a moment before
JC stood up. He brushed off what happened without so much as a glance in
Justin’s direction. Mumbling something about having some papers to look over
for an artist he was helping produce a song for he’d all but ran from the room,
from his friends…from Justin. Justin had kept his distance the
day after figuring that JC needed time to think. When he’d approached him two
days later, JC had practically ignored him, said he was too busy to talk, pulled
out his cell phone and walked away dialing some random phone number leaving
Justin to stare after him. The
only time JC had willingly interacted with him was when they were on stage,
seeming to the crowd to never miss a beat but all their friends knew that
tension that was like a glass wall between the two. They saw each other but were
both afraid to break the glass standing between them and risk the cuts and
bruises that were inevitable. So instead Justin watched JC from the opposite
side of the glass wanting so much to reach out and touch but finding the wall
stopping him every time. It was getting to the point where he thought he’d go
insane. He’d always been a ‘touchy’ person. Everyone knew that. He loved
to touch people, he found comfort and reassurance in the small hugs or smiles
from the people close to him, none more so than JC’s. Needing
to clear his mind Justin reverted to his old ritual. Waiting until everyone was
settled in their rooms. He gathered his belongings and headed up to the private
penthouse pool. Mike was waiting for him at the elevator giving him a knowing
smile and shake of the head. He knew something had happened recently because
Justin and JC were avoiding each other like the plague. They stepped out of the
elevator onto the screened in area where the pool was. It was a heated pool with
lights under the surface, soft lights surrounding the area for visibility. Small
plants that Justin thought he recognized as some type of rose on either side of
the pool. Lounge chairs were set up on one end of the pool and a diving board at
the other. Justin settled in to his spot next to Mike on a chair. Mike
sat back and waited. Every hotel they came to Justin eventually went out to the
pool for alone time, and Mike was always right there with him, sometimes joining
him in the water when it was late at night, other times sitting listening to a
CD player. Mike knew that Justin did this to relieve stress and that the times
when it was too much to hold in he’d sit down and talk to him about it. It
never failed and tonight seemed to be a night for Justin to talk. They
sat there for a few moments lying back in the chairs watching the gray clouds
roll in overhead through the glass skylight. “Mike
I cant do this anymore…I’m loosing my best friend and I cant take it anymore”
Justin choked out as tears formed in his blue eyes. “What
happened J? “Member’
a few days back, me and JC spent the day out?” When Mike nodded he continued.
“Well we came back with the ice cream and well…we were sitting and talking
sharing the ice cream and when there was only a bit left JC held it up to my
lips on his spoon for me to eat…. I decided that I wanted to do that too
so…. I just wanted to so bad…so I did….I fed him some ice cream…. FLASHBACK JC’s
hand stilled about to dip into Justin’s cup of ice cream for the last bite.
Justin snuck his spoon in scooping up the last bit of ice cream in his bowl.
Smiling evilly he held the spoon for JC. “You want?” he asked in a low voice.
Swallowing visibly JC’s eyes widened at the seductive tone to Justin’s voice.
Hesitantly moving forward he opened his mouth closing his lips around the spoon
of the cool treat, eyes closing briefly savoring the moment. OH MY GOD! Can he
be any hotter! Justin shouted to himself feeling a familiar heat rush through
his body. FLASHBACK ENDS Mike
sat back after hearing the story. He couldn’t help but sympathize with his
young friend. To be young and in love he thought. “J,
I don’t know what advice I can give you other than talk to him. You’re so
afraid that he’ll say something to hurt your feelings but aren’t you already
hurting now…that’s the only way you’ll straighten everything out…no pun
intended, he smirked, I know I gave the same advice before but its really the
only way to go man….” Shrugging
his shoulders Justin moved over to the diving board, moving under the water
seconds later. Mike
looked up hearing the doors to the pool open. JC was standing their looking back
at him. Mike stood up in understanding and made his way inside to give them
privacy. He
watched Justin’s body move, water flowing over him as he pushed through the
water. After five minutes of swimming under and on top of the water Justin
finally swam to the stairs and came out of the water. JC watched as the water
trickled off of Justin’s body cursing the towel Justin picked up to dry
himself ending his fun of watching the patterns of water on his body. JC
sighed heavily. Justin’s
head snapped in his direction. He knew that sound anywhere. JC. “Uh…um…what
are you…I mean, hi” Justin stumbled over his words. JC
sat watching him dressed in a pair of smokey blue sweatpants hung low on his
hips that Justin remembered him getting to replace a pair that had been
destroyed in a prank when Chris ‘accidentally’ dropped a red sock in with
JC’s white socks and undershirts, ultimately dying them all a light shade of
pink. A simple muscle shirt covered by matching zip up hooded sweatshirt topped
off the look. “I
came to talk to you Justin, about what happened.” Justin
slightly grimaced at the use of his full name…JC hardly ever called him that
unless in public, it was always Ju, or JuJu. Fans thought he hated the nickname
but in truth he only hated when anyone other than JC called him that. It was
special, just like he called JC Josh and the rest of the guys called him Jayce
or C. Justin
moved and sat across from JC in a chair. “Josh,
I know what you’re here about…. the, um kiss…” “Justin,
listen…I know that you think you need to explain…but don’t please….” A flash of lightening lit the
sky and Justin looked up trying to force the tears that came with the
disheartening tone of JC’s voice. Justin could tell by the way his voice
sounded whatever he was about to say…. he really didn’t want to hear. JC
took a breath while looking at his feet trying to decide how to say this. It
would be the hardest words he’d ever have to say. He glanced up and looked at
Justin’s profile in the dim lighting. You were all
by yourself Staring up at
a dark gray sky I was changed Lightening
flashed again, and JC’s breath caught in his throat. He’d come up here to
tell Justin that whatever was going on had to stop because a relationship, or
whatever it was they started that night, couldn’t happen but looking at him
now…he wondered exactly how he’d ever do that. This man sitting in front of
him had been in his heart for so long…the unthinkable had actually happened…they’d
shared a moment together, however brief that made all the heartache of
unrequited love in the past more than worth it. In the seconds the kiss lasted
he’d been completely happy. In places no
one would find All your
feelings so deep inside (deep inside) It was then
that I realized That forever
was in your eyes The moment I
saw you cry The moment
that I saw you cry JC
sat thinking and watching Justin and then something happened. Something he never
wanted to be the cause of. A single tear rolled down Justin’s upturned face,
and JC saw Justin’s eyes clamp shut to keep the rest at bay. Justin lowered
his face and turned to JC. Tears were shining brightly in his soft blue eyes. “Justin…” “No…don’t JC…I don’t
want to hear you make excuses for what happened, give me something better than
that…please…anything but that” Justin whispered. It was late
in September And I've seen
you before (and you were) You were
always the cold one But I was
never that sure You were all
by yourself Staring at a
dark gray sky I was changed Justin sat and watched as JC
looked out the glass surrounding the pool. Sheets of clear water were cascading
on the glass surface, pulling JC into a tranquil state of mind where he thought
of his feelings for Justin for the millionth time that day. In places no
one would find All your
feelings so deep inside (deep inside) It was then
that I realized That forever
was in your eyes The
moment I saw you cry Justin
sat and watched as JC cried. Justin’s breath caught in his throat at the first
sight of a tear. When JC’s gaze turned to meet his Justin couldn’t hold back
his own any more and they just sat there for a moment looking at each other
crying unsure what to do. Both were thinking the same thing. I wanted to
hold you I wanted to
make it go away I wanted to
know you I wanted to
make your- everything, all right.... Later
they wouldn’t be able to say who moved first but in the next moment they were
standing wrapped in each other’s arms. “Josh…”
Lightening flashed brightly around them, but neither cared. “Justin…” They both
pulled away after what felt like an eternity and stared into each other’s eyes.
Blue Crystal met Blue Fire. They leaned in and kissed. Lips
touched softly at first both of them unsure. Moments past, light kisses being
shared between the two men. A passion underneath that neither wanted to deny. JC
tightened his arms around Justin’s waist. Justin moaned and moved closer to
JC’s body to where a breath of air couldn’t pass between their bodies. At Justin’s moan JC took the
chance and ever so lightly brushed his tongue against Justin’s bottom lip,
Justin’s mouth opening a little more, granting him entrance. They stood there
in the embrace, tongues caressing each other’s softly but with a fire that
would rival any volcano. Soft moans of contentment passed in the still air as
their hands grasped to the other tightly. Finally coming up for air minutes
later they stared at each other both blushing furiously but refusing to break
the steady gaze. I'll always
remember... It was late
afternoon... In
places no one would find... In places no
one would find All your
feelings so deep inside (deep inside) It was then
that I realized That forever
was in your eyes The
moment I saw you cry ---Mandy
Moore Cry
Aideen Nirel Stories
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