YOU MAKE ME WANNA
this is what you do
this is what you do
this is what you do
„Where ya goin curly?“ Lonnie one of the guys’ bodyguards asked.
„Oh uh just down to the pool just
t to chill “ Justin said distractedly his mind still a jumble of thoughts he
desperately wanted to escape.
„Well I’ll tag along, somebody gotta keep yo bony butt outa trouble!“
Lonnie said laughing trying to lessen the tension he felt coming off of his
young friend in waves. Ducking into his hotel room Lonnie returned next to
Justin who was waiting at the elevator patiently with a book and his two-way
cell phone that all the guards and staff used. (AN: I know a lot of water
references but hey just go with it J)
Restlessly tapping his finger against his CD player Justin sighed as they
silently rode the 8 floors down to the pool.
***
He would gladly sit through dance rehearsals, interviews, or even be in the
studio doing retakes on the same track of It’s gonna be me the dreaded song
that had almost driven him completely up the wall insane Sure he started
out liking the song it was his ‘groove song’ Joey joked, but after a while
it was just a bit annoying trying to get his It’s Gonna be Me’s to sound just
right so that the ‘teenies’ would cry and scream the way they did. Justin
really couldn’t understand it. He was just a guy but girls went all googlie
eyed on him if he even gave so much as a glance in their direction, reeked havoc
just for a chance to touch him. He loved his fans but couldn’t help but think
what they would do if they really knew him, would they still send him get well
cards like that time he broke his arm some years ago, would they still send him
sentimental cards, letters, and little gifts like the thumb ring he wore on his
left hand. It was these responses from fans he valued greatest. Stories of how
their music may have helped them through a tough time, within their family,
school, or whatever, how they’ve inspired someone in any way to Justin that
made all the near death experiences rushing through crowds of screaming,
scratching, crying girls.
Lonnie watched as Justin dropped into one of the lounge chairs by the pool.
Sighing he walked over to where he was and sat in the chair next to him. „You
ok Jup?“
„Yea man I’m fine I just got some stuff to think about“ Justin paused
turning to look at his friend. „Why does everything seem so complicated all
the time? I mean I cant make one choice these days without checking with someone
first even if its to come down here to the pool I have to check with the guards
so one of you can come along .I don’t mean that to be mean but Like if I want
to make a change in something serious .the whole world knows about it in minutes
dude look what happened when I shaved my head!“ Justin exhasperated.
Lonnie sat stunned for a moment at the young man’s outburst. Nervously
clearing his throat thinking of a way to help his friend he couldn’t help but
wonder what had him so stressed lately. Everyone who knew Justin could sense
when he was upset JC more than most and it had been he who mentioned too Lonnie
to keep a closer eye on Justin the past few days. No one knew exactly what was
going on behind the blue eyes but one could only guess. At such a young age
Justin had so much to worry about and everyone just simply expected him to
handle it all but there had to be a limit right? Lonnie only wondered what and
when that line would be crossed. „Jup, man I know its hard .hell I don’t
know how you guys do it you especially, everyone is watching your every move but
you cant start second guessing yourself you make decisions for you to make you
happy I know you love the fans but they are second to what you want listen to
what you think is right for you and make your own choices I know it’s a hassle
having to go to certain people about things that seem so simple but its just the
life Justin just don’t let it take over you man “ Lonnie said slapping a
comforting hand on Justin’s shoulder.
Justin took off his CD player and handed it to Lonnie. „Yea you’re right man
chill out for a bit and thanks“ Justin said smiling slightly, it was the first
real smile however small he’d seen Justin give in a long while.
Justin dove into the pool, swimming underneath the clear surface he let the
water soothe the questions in his mind as he blocked out everything else taking
in what Lonnie had said to him. Water pushed over the muscles of his body in
silky waves as he swam the length of the pool coming up for air now and then. It
had become a routine with him in the last few stops. He’d make it a point to
come out to the pools of the hotels they stopped in after everyone else had
settled in. It was his time to be to himself, it was a way for him to release
stress and think without the confined feeling of hotel walls or the cramped
spaces of bus bunks surrounding him.
you make me wanna leave the one I'm with
start a new relationship with you
this is what you do
think about her and the things that come along with
you make me
you make me wanna leave the one I'm with
start a new relationship with you
this is what you do
think about her and the things that come along with
you make me
you make me
He’d met her on the Mickey Mouse Club, they were great friends back then, she
was always around to talk to and he liked her. She was the pretty little girl
with brown hair and eyes and everyone cooed over them when they were together.
It was only natural that they get together again when they meet up some years
later. She was his best friend and he didn’t want to hurt her. He couldn’t
lie to himself though it just hurt too much. He knew she could tell something
was up, she’d all but said so on the phone earlier today. „Justin look
I’ll be home tonight so you can call me anytime you know if you get bored or
whatever “ „Yea no prob I’ll check ya later Brit“ „Take care of
you Stinky love you“ „You too Brit love you too.“
It was true he did love her, he had a feeling he always would but it was
different. It wasn’t the kind of love he was supposed to feel for his
girlfriend. There were no butterflies when he thought about seeing her again. No
wishing he could hear her voice late at night when he was alone with his
thoughts driving the dark highway in the tour bus, or wishing he could run his
hands through her hair, kiss her in a way he never had, soft and light, a
butterfly kiss. No none of that happened with her.
But it all happened with him.
JC.
before anything began between us
you were like my best friend
the one I used to run to when me and my
girl was having problems (that’s right)
you used to say it would be okay
suggest little nice things I should do
and when I come home at night and lay my head down
all I seem to think about is you
and how you make me wanna
Justin woke up the next morning for once feeling good.
He’d finally decided, it wasn’t something that would be easy but he knew it
had to be done. They had a break today and he was taking full advantage of it.
It was 7AM. The sun was still in that hazy morning faze where everything looked
sleepy but full of energy waiting to burst out. Getting out of bed he made his
way to his bag and pulled out his favorite pair of jeans, baggy dark blue FUBU,
a white undershirt and blue flannel shirt. Moving to the bathroom he turned on
the water to the hottest setting possible before third degree burns could be
achieved. Hot water was a godsend to him so relaxing and energizing. Showering
with his Tommy bath products he stepped out of the shower wrapping a towel
around his waist before going about his morning routine, brushing his teeth with
his bubble gum flavored crest. The guys made fun of him for it but so what it
tasted good and since most times they wouldn’t let him or Chris hit some
serious sugar till at least lunch it was the next best thing. Running his hands
over his shaved head he made his way back into the bedroom to change into his
clothes pulling on a pair of blue and white Jordans for the finishing touch.
Clipping his wallet into his pocket with the chain Chris had given him he made
his way out the door. Being as quiet as possible he moved through the lounge of
the suite the group was using into the kitchen where he grabbed a quick bowl of
Oreo Os and a glass of Orange juice. Glancing at his watch realizing it was 8:15
he finally headed out the front door. Knocking on the door at the end of the
hall he waited patiently in the hall. After a few seconds the door was pulled
open and a fully dressed and ready Lonnie stepped into the hall.
The two made their way downstairs to the lobby, sounds of the first few girls
outside could be heard faintly from where they stood. Justin followed Lonnie out
to the back parking lot into the waiting rented Black Lexus SUV. Justin stared
out the window as they drove the streets of the city to their destination.
Finally pulling up in front of a tall off white building the two made their way
out. Going up to the 8th floor Justin took a breath and walked down the hallway
along, Lonnie turning into a room at the end of the hallway where his buddies
were. Knocking on the door to room 831 Justin let out the breath he was holding
as the door was opened. There she stood blond hair shining ever so lightly,
brown eyes looking at him in that way she had of asking a question without
really saying it. Dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants rolled down at the hips,
a yellow tank top and her hair in a ponytail at the back of her head. She was
comfortable. It was in laid back clothes like this he loved her in because that
was truly her, his Brit.
you make me wanna leave the one I’m with
start a new relationship with you
this is what you do
think about her and the things that come along with
you make me
you make me wanna leave the one I’m with
start a new relationship with you
this is what you do
think about her and the things that come along with
you make me
you make me
„Hey Jup,“ she greeted hugging him before letting him into the hotel room.
„Hey sorry about all this “Justin said quietly. Britney knew what was
up. She wasn’t upset at all because she knew it wasn’t easy for Justin to do
this. She loved him and wanted nothing more than for him to be happy so she
vowed to make this as easy as possible for them both.
They sat in the lounge area each sprawling out on a couch facing each other.
„I’m gonna do it Brit.“ Justin said softly. Britney gasped. Although she
wasn’t surprised to hear the certainty in his voice surprised her. He’d said
it before a couple times but each time he’d chickened out. „I’m so proud
of you Justin,“ she said softly moving to sit next to him on the couch.
„You know I still remember when we first hooked up back in MMC you
‘member? Things were so much simpler then“ Justin sighed. „Yea I remember
we were all taking a break me and Chrissy(Christina Aguilera?! Gasp!) were
talking then all of a sudden JC’s like ‘Hey Justin didn’t you wanna talk
to Brit about something?’ The look on your face oh my goodness “ „Yea and
then when we finally were alone I chickened out and ran“ Justin laughed. „Aww
I thought it was kinda cute you were so nervouse!“ Britney joked pinching
Justin’s cheek. Justin blushed. „JC finally was like ‘fine if you wont do
it I’ll do it for you. And asked you out for me.“ Justin laughed.
now what's bad
is you're the one that hooked us up
knowing it should've been you
what's sad is I love her but I'm falling for you
what should I do
should I
tell my baby bye bye
should I
do exactly what I feel inside
cause I
I don't wanna go
don't need to stay
but I really need to get it together
„Brit is this really the right thing to do I mean its just I know it is but
everything’s gonna be tossed in the air again I dunno if I can take it “
Justin spoke softly leaning his head onto Britney’s shoulder. „Aw Justin its
gonna be ok hun, I’ve always known that you’re my best friend we’ve been
looking out for each other for years now there’s no way anything is going to
change that .forget about the public. I know and you know that its time this was
over. I’ve been covering for you for a while now even before you knew I knew
Justin I remember the way you’d look at JC when you thought no one was
watching the look in your eyes Justin gosh its was full of love I knew and I
know that us ‘breaking up’ is going to be a good thing Justin. We haven’t
been together since the day you came out to me that’s been almost 3 years hun
its ok, I’m not hurting and I don’t want you to either.“
That’s one thing he could always say for Brit. She was the queen of pep talks.
Somehow she was almost as good as JC was in making Justin feel better. After
talking for a while longer the two called Fe (Britney’s PR person?) and
Johnny(N Syncs manager) to meet them. In 10 minutes there was a knock at the
door. Johnny and Fe walked in to join the two wondering exactly what was going
on. Sitting down they cast worried glances to Justin who had rested his head on
Britney’s shoulder taking deep breaths.
„Are you ok?“ Johnny asked Justin.
„Yea I just need to calm my nerves a little is all“ Justin replied.
Sitting up Justin held Britney’s hand between two of his. „Well the reason
we called you two here was because we decided something “ Britney trailed off
looking at Justin. He took that as his cue. Looking up he could see the look of
anticipation on Fe and Johnny’s face.
„We’re well kinda breaking up“ Justin mumbled the last part.
Jaws dropped.
you make me wanna leave the one I’m with oh baby
start a new relationship with you
this is what you do
think about her and the things that come along with
you make me
you make me wanna leave the one I’m with oh baby
start a new relationship with you
this is what you do
think about her and the things that come along with
you make me
you make me
„What are you talking about breaking up I thought you
were gonna say you’re engaged or something what what’s going on I “Fe
trailed off hands moving rapidly as she talked.
„Do you two realize what you’re doing what this could mean .I mean this is
just I don’t know what to say why what changed?!“ Johnny questioned.
Britney took a deep breath. „No we’re not getting married Fe that’s
impossible well because it just is I mean its ok we’re fine its something that
we felt had to be done we’re not in love with each other we love each other
but as friends, a sister brother kinda thing “ Britney started.
„We cant be together we haven’t really been together for three years“
Justin spoke up.
All movement and sound stopped at his words.
„WHAT?!“ both Fe and Johnny erupted.
For the next few moments Johnny and Fe took turns babbling out incoherent
statements in confusion.
„Look we’re gonna explain but you gotta listen calm down!“ Britney ordered.
Johnny and Fe quieted and looked to the two for answers.
„Me and Brit are best friends we always have been she knows so much about me
that no one has a clue about not even the guys my mom does, my family but .its
complicated and we did what we felt was best “ Justin explained.
„We did date at one point, but we realized it wouldn’t work “ Brit
included.
„Yea it was a while ago and Brit offered to cover for me it was a mutual
decision.“ Justin stated.
„Wait what cover for you why what happened?!“ Johnny asked worriedly.
„Johnny nothing is wrong “
„Then why “Fe began.
Britney held up a hand to quiet them, squeezing Justin’s hand gently he
continued.
„I cant love her the way she needs to be loved I mean I don’t ugh! Justin
expressed frustrated running his free hand over his shaved head, I’m gay!“
he stated.
„Oh my “ Fe gasped.
„What the “ Johnny began.
Justin closed his eyes as the tears he’d been holding back all morning spilled
forth.
They sat quietly until Britney continued.
„I’ve been Jup’s cover, he wasn’t ready to come out to people no one
really knew his mom and stuff but not even JC knows it was for the best at the
time, we were young cameras were everywhere we went and we knew what something
like that could have done to the guys’ careers if it came out then. Actually
our mom’s suggested it to be honest who woulda thunk“ Britney grinned over
at Justin remembering when their mom’s had cornered them durning a holiday
celebration.
„So wow you’re gay I would have never not you“ Fe stated.
„So what does this all mean exactly? Are you thinking of coming out to the
public? Are you seeing someone is that why you’re doing this now?“ Johnny
asked.
„Neither of us is seeing anyone else “Justin started quietly looking over at
Brit for confirmation, she nodded. „No its just time to move on.“ Britney
said.
„I’m interested in someone I have been for a while he doesn’t know I love
him, doesn’t even know I’m gay .its always been to scary to even think about
telling him cuz I know he’s not gay atleast I think. I don’t plan on coming
out to the public but if I get with someone that I want them to know about then
I will .“
Johnny and Fe sat in silence again letting all the information absorb. „Who I
mean “Fe started grinning at Justin.
Justin sighed in relief glancing at Johnny seeing him smiling as well.
„Do you really want to know?“ He questioned bashfully.
„Yea we really do Jup“ Johnny stated putting a hand out to pat Justin on the
back comfortingly.
„It’s uh JC“ Justin blushed.
Britney giggled. „Aww how cute!“ Fe complied watching Justin blush at the
thought of JC.
„Wow that’s well actually that’s not much of a surprise come to think of
it “ Johnny said.
Justin, Britney and Fe did double takes at him. He just shrugged his shoulders.
„I meant that you and C are close closer than you and Brit in some ways. Im
cool with it Jup don’t stress “Johnny soothed.
„Yea same here Justin“ Fe stated.
at this point the situation's out of
control
I never meant to hurt her but I
gotta let her go
and if she may not understand it
why all of this is going on
I tried
I tried to fight it but the feelings just to strong
you make me wanna wanna
you make me wanna
They’d been talking for a while now and finally everything was settled. A
press release was drawn up and would be released later that week on MTV. Since
both Britney and Justin wanted to avoid as much backlash about the breakup they
decided to both go on TRL in a few days when it was done.
---------- 3 days later in New York-------
Justin, Britney, Johnny, Fe and the rest of N SYNC were all settled into the
lounge area of another hotel suite.
„Ok so who broke what and how much does it cost to replace it?“ Chris asked
half jokingly looking over at Joey. The group laughed, all but Justin. He sat
quietly watching everyone around him laughing his gaze lingering longer on JC
who was talking to Lance about something.
„Lance what’s going on this looks kinda serious you don’t think they’re
“ JC stated worriedly behind the fake smile he had plastered on his face.
„JC don’t worry man its ok they cant be getting married no way man not gonna
happen “ Lance said trying to calm JC. He was the only one in the group that
knew about JC. He’d confronted him one night after they’d shared a
room together and he heard the older man talking on his phone late at night.
~*FLASHBACK*~
JC had called hi s mother one night because he couldn’t sleep. He tossed
and turned for the better part of the night. Only one thing was on his mind.
Justin. So he’d done the only thing he could think of. He called his mom to
vent his despair. His mom had soothed her son as best she could, her heart
breaking knowing that her son was in love and hurting not knowing how to get
over his feelings for Justin. She secretly wished some how JC would be granted
the love he so desperately wanted but knew that was impossible. Justin had
Britney.
Lance woke up hearing JC walk out onto the balcony to their hotel room. As he
was about to get out of bed to check on his friend he heard him talking. Slowly
he walked towards the slideing glass door hesitating when he heard him say:
„Mom, I don’t know if I can do this anymore .its too hard “
„Hun don’t say that. I know you, you’re stronger than this, don’t let
yourself get scared. If you aren’t comfortable talking to the guys about this
yet its ok but I know they will understand.“
„But mom its not the other guys reactions I’m worried about it’s it’s
only Justin that scares me mom. I wouldn’t be able to take it if he turned his
back on me. He’s my bestfriend mom I cant loose him no matter what!“ JC
spoke strongly.
Lance snapped his mouth closed before he allowed himself to interrupt with
the thoughts running through his head. What the heck was going on anyway
what’s wrong? He paitiently moved back to his bed and sat on the edge facing
the doors. He waited a few more minutes, hearing JC’s quiet sniffles as his
mother consoled him worried him even more. Any doubts about his actions were
lost when JC finally stepped back into the room. Even in the dark of night Lance
could see the pain etched on his face. He could feel the sadness and uncertainty
rolling of JC as he entered the room. Most of all he could almost taste the fear
he saw flash in his older friend’s eyes when he caught sight of him sitting
there.
„uh l..Lance w-what how long have you been up?!“ he asked nervously.
„JC, are you ok? I um I’m worried about you I heard you crying I didn’t
mean to listen in but I’m sorry Im just concerned you haven’t been yourself
these last few days .talk to me C?!“ Lance begged.
JC sat on the edge of his bed slowly. Up until now he thought there was no
way he’d find a way to tell the guys this secret. They all thought they knew
him so well but really
„Lance its not that easy I don’t even know how where .I’m sorry “JC
said burying his head in his hands. Lance quickly moved to the other bed to wrap
his friend in a tight embrace.
„Jayce, man its ok I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what
I’m always going to be there for you we’re best friends, nothing can change
that talk to me you need to let this out whatever it is.“ Lance insisted.
Taking a deep breath JC composed himself as best he could. „Lance you and
the guys mean so much to me what I have to say well its unexpected, I mean its
not something you can just say I don’t even think I can tell the rest of the
guys I’m not ready I just I’m telling you now only because I hate to see you
so worked up and worrying about anyone me especially“ JC began glancing up at
Lance briefly.
„I understand but if you tell me .look I’m your friend, I’ll be here
for you I promise“ Lance encouraged.
Nodding his head JC began again. „Well I kind of have feelings for someone
I well more than have feelings I think- I know I’m in love with this person“
JC stated looking at Lance to see his reaction so far.
Lance’s brow was creased in confusion. Is that all? Why’s he stressing
this much over liking someone? Nodding slightly for JC to continue Lance took
his hand and squeezed it gently as if to say I know there’s more so tell me.
„Ok its not as easy as it sounds I know you’re like so what you like
someone big deal, but it is a big deal cuz well its not what you think
I kinda well its not a girl it’s a guy “JC trailed off lowering his
head bracing himself for Lance’s reaction. He half expected him to yell, rant
and rave about how immoral that was, but his biggest fear was that the
comforting arms surrounding him would be withdrawn and he’d be left cold,
alone.
„Jace I don’t know what to say I’m not going to judge you if that’s
what you think “ Lance assured hugging his friend tightly again.
JC released a shaky breath as the tears began.
After a few moments of Lance rubbing JC’s back, telling him it was ok JC
finally settled down his sobs to light sniffles.
„So who’s the lucky guy? Has to be someone special to get a great guy
like you?“ Lance smiled.
JC nodded smiling slightly. „He is special Lance, he’s the best, I care
about him so much, he’s one of the nicest people I know, he’s always there
for me when I need him. Oh gosh not to mention he’s gorgeous!“ JC gushed
softly. Lance grinned seeing how JC’s eyes held that familiar light that was
solely JC’s passion when he talked about this mystery man.
„Well what else what’s he look like he sounds great so far“ Lance said
moving to look at his friend better. JC rubbed his hands on his pajama pants to
rid himself of the nervousness Lance’s simple question had caused.
„Well he’s tall .and up cute ,“ he began looking at Lance realizing
that that simple description wasn’t nearly enough he continued, he’s smart,
funny, the most charming person you’ll ever meet. And Lance he’s amazing .he
has such a passion for what he does its incredible I look at him and I cant
believe how lucky I am just to have him in my life as a friend “the smile on
JC’s face disappeared. „but I cant tell him how I feel I’ll loose him if I
do “ JC explained.
Lance nodded understanding. „Jayce is it its Justin isn’t it?“ Lance
asked softly. JC simply nodded as a single tear rolled down his cheek.
„Aww, Jayce Justin is your best friend, you can never loose him, you cant
loose any of us we’re all your friends, here for you always
nothing-NOTHING-will change that .“
~*FLASHBACK ENDS*~
„No
one did anything Chris everyone just calm down a bit so we can talk for a little“
Fe responded to Chris’ joke.
Everyone settled into their chairs. Britney reached over and took Justin’s
hand gently rubbing her thumb across the back. „Me and Justin wanted to talk
to you guys about something “ she began. The quick glances thrown between the
others in the room were definitely noticed as they each thought this must be
pretty big. „Y-you guys are getting married aren’t you?!“ Joey spoke what
everyone was thinking. Justin looked at him quickly. Not noticing the look of
utter devastation that imprinted on JC’s face. „N-no we aren’t getting
married that’s not what this is about at all.“ A small sigh of relief was
emitted from the group.
„Well geez guys I don’t know if I should laugh or be offended,“ Britney
stated smiling at them. „We’re breaking up.“ Justin said flatly. A gasp
was all that answered his statement. „Leave some air for the rest of the world
guys“ Johnny joked. JC glanced at Britney and Justin then to Lance. His face
was unreadable. Something he’d hoped for but never really thought would happen
at least not now had just happened.
„Woah .“ Chris stated.
„Uh huh what he said,“ Joey said nodding his head.
„I’m with them I mean what why?“ Lance asked the burning question.
JC just nodded agreeing with all of their reactions and not trusting his own
response since the only thing he could think was. Thank you god! And the fact
that he just wanted to jump Justin then and there damn the fact they were in a
room with 6 other people.
„Well we decided that we didn’t want to be together .“ Britney started not
sure if Justin wanted to say exactly what was going on.
„Actually we haven’t been together for a long time for like years we’re
best friends we just stayed together to cover from the public we did what we
thought was best for a lot of reasons.“ Justin interrupted.
The room was quiet still waiting on the two to explain. „We didn’t want to
lie to you but we just didn’t know how else to handle the situation then .“
Britney said hoping to sooth any hurt feelings.
„We’re not angry at you I mean I wish you’d told us before but you must
have had good reason not to “ Chris filled in looking to the others for
agreement. They all nodded. JC looking a little dumbstruck as he well should
since to him it felt like his entire body was running in slow motion.
„I’m ok with it its just what made you decide to tell us now?“ Joey asked
looking to Justin.
Justin sighed closing his eyes briefly. „It was my choice to wait as long as
we did I- I wasn’t ready to say what it is I have to say to you now “ he
looked up staring directly into JC’s eyes.
God he has the most beautiful eyes! They both thought. Pausing for a
moment to think of how to word his thoughts Justin continued. „I’m not in
love with Brit like that I don’t
think I ever was not the way I was supposed to be I’ve only been in love once
in my life and its not with her its someone else Brit understands that she’s
known longer than I have I suppose I cant love her the way she needs because
she’s not what I need or want I guess this isn’t as easy as I thought huh?
He broke of looking up at Britney who ran a soothing hand up and down his back
in encouragement. Sighing Justin braced himself and continued. „I don’t know
how you’re going to take this guys, the last thing I ever want to happen is to
loose your friendship, it means the world to me I’d be lost without you all
you’ve always had my back no matter what, my brothers but I-uh I’ll totally
understand if you feel differently about me or if you don’t want anything to
do with me that’s fine to god! I don’t want you to hate me I’m still the
same Justin this is just another part of me I’m well this isn’t easy to say
to you ..I’m, I’m in love with
someone else a guy, a great guy .he’s perfect . “I’m gay.“ Justin
finally got out looking up briefly to catch the dropped jaws and expressions of
shock on the faces of his friends.
you make me wanna leave the one I’m with
start a new relationship with you
this is what you do
think about her and the things that come along with
you make me
you make me wanna leave the one I’m with
start a new relationship with you
this is what you do
think about her and the things that come along with
you make me
you make me