Justin woke up alone.

Almost.

Not really.

Maybe the best way to put it is that he woke up alone with himself.

He didn't realize it, not immediately. Never quite the morning person, he rolled over, mumbled something under his breath, and blindly reached over a warm body for the alarm-clock, ending the annoying noise with a satisfying thud. Then he fell back onto the mattress, which dipped under his weight, causing that body next to him to move closer.

Groupie?

Justin opened one eye and peered over, then closed it again, relieved. No groupie, just him.

Just...

He sat up. Slowly opened his eyes. Closed them. Lay down.

Sat up again. Blinked.

He was still there.

But that was impossible. He was here. Not there.

Okay. Stay calm and look for possible explanations. Possibility number one: You're dreaming.

Justin pinched himself, yelped.

Possibility number two: You're either drunk or high.

He knew that he wasn't.

Possibility number three... Goddammit, possibility number three...

There wasn't such a thing as possibility number three. Unless he had gone crazy, which seemed somewhat likely at the moment.

Slowly and very carefully, Justin slid closer. Studied long lashes that were his own, pink lips - that were his own - parted in sleep, smooth skin and a slender, golden and very naked body. His own.

He was studying himself.

Was he officially allowed to freak out now?

Justin bent over himself and traced a tentative circle on babysoft skin, watched as his finger moved over his own shoulder blade. Under his finger, muscles twitched, then he shifted, his face turning towards Justin. Dark lashes fluttered, soft lips curled into a smile, and blue eyes opened.

Justin was staring into his own eyes.

"Hi," the other Justin said, and it was Justin's voice, too.

"Who." Justin swallowed and closed his eyes, their gazes locking anew when he opened them again. "Who are you?"

The other Justin - naked, naked other Justin - sat up and stretched languidly, tight muscles moving under soft skin.

"I'm you," he exclaimed happily. Which was a contradiction in itself because Justin was never, never happy in the mornings. He was. So he couldn't be Justin.

"You're not," Justin said.

"Why?" the other Justin asked, an expression of quiet puzzlement on his face.

"Because you're. You. Me. I mean, I am me, so you can't be me, too."

The confusion disappeared. "Oh, but I am. I'm a part of you, or, I don't know, maybe you're a part of me, but I guess it's me that's the part of you because you were present most of the time and-"

"Stop!" Justin raised his hands, tempted to clamp them over the other Justin's mouth, but he didn't. "Please, can you repeat that, and, I don't know. Explain, maybe?"

"Explain what?"

"Who you are."

"You."

"Okay." He was calm. He was collected. Yes, he was. "Okay, so you're me. But how is that possible?"

"I'm a part of you."

"What part? And if you were a part of me, then you wouldn't be lying next to me in a hotel bed, but you'd be, I don't know. In me?"

"I was."

"Huh?"

The other Justin smiled. "Look, there are two sides of you. Me. Us. I don't know. But you're the dominant side, the, you're the one responsible for most of what we do. What you do."

"So you're. What are you?"

"I'm like, another part of us. You're the mature one, I guess. Like, serious, rational, collected, and all that. The way the media made you, us. Growing up too fast, you know? I'm. I'm more. Emotional, maybe. I'm acting my age, I'm not as experienced as you are."

Justin snorted, couldn't help it. "Excuse me, but if you're me, then you've had the exact same experiences that I have."

"No, I didn't. I like, only had the experiences when it was me. Like, when you let me take over for a while."

"What?" Justin's forehead furrowed.

"Okay, let me try to explain." The other Justin took his hand. "We're one, actually. But you're the mature side, I'm the more impulsive and childlike one, and for the last few years or so, you were us. You made all the decisions, and you hardly let me take over anymore. The last time you really did was during the lawsuit, when we broke down in JC's arms."

"We did what?"

"Oh, right." The other Justin smiled, their hands still clasped together. "That was one of the times in which I was dominant, so I took the memory with me when we separated. It was just getting too much for us, so, we, I went to JC's room and when I asked if I could sleep with him, he like, pulled me into one of those full-body hugs of his and I just broke down and cried for at least an hour like a baby."

"I don't remember."

"It's my memory, not yours."

"I'm. We're schizophrenic."

"No. There are just different sides of us. You know, there's what everyone expects us to be, and that's you. And then there's me."

"So you're saying that I'm fake?"

The other Justin laughed, shook his head. "No. You're just as much part of us as I am. But you dominated me, and I grew tired of it, so I decided that I wanted to be just myself for a while."

Justin frowned. "That doesn't make sense."

"It does!" the other Justin contradicted immediately.

"Then how come I still remember all of my, of our childhood? According to your logic, you would have to be the one dominating there, I mean, there weren't any people expecting us to be mature and think rational or whatever."

"There was only one of us back then," the other Justin explained. "It's. There was only one side of us back then, but it got more complicated, and so it's like, we developed into two. A lot of people do during puberty, I think. The sudden moodswings and all, you know? But for us, it was more difficult 'cause we had to like, be two people at the same time. Private Justin and Public Justin. You're Public Justin, and you took over."

Justin retracted his hand, his eyes narrowing. "What do you expect from me? Pity? Sounds as if there's Devil Justin and Angel Justin, and you want to be Angel Justin."

"But," the other Justin shook his head. "That's not what I'm trying to say. You're not better or worse than me, I mean, you are me, we're the same. We belong together. Two sides of a coin, or something like that."

"Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?"

"No." Again, the other Justin reached for his hand and didn't let go when Justin pulled. "I don't think that I'm better, okay? I'm just different. I didn't quite adjust to the public expectations. You did. There's nothing bad about that, you're not bad, I just got tired of never being allowed to take over anymore."

"I suppressed you?"

"Sort of, yes."

"You're not mad at me."

"You didn't even know you were doing it."

"Then how come you did?"

"The king never notices his subjects, does he? They're not important enough."

"You are mad."

The other Justin thought for a moment, their fingers intertwined, their hearts beating in unison. "A little, maybe. But I'll get over it."

"I'm not quite sure if I will."

Blue eyes widened. "You are mad at me?"

Justin shook his head. "No, it's just. This is weird, you know? Like, is something like this even possible?"

"You're too rational," the other Justin said.

Justin didn't answer.

"It's still always in Joey's room? Breakfast, I mean," the other Justin asked just as Justin reached to knock on the door

He nodded. "Yeah. Joey's the only morning person, so he might as well order breakfast for the rest of us."

The other Justin grinned. "Remember when he conveniently "forgot" to order cereal because that's not breakfast, man, that's sick?"

"He did?" Justin frowned. "Maybe that's one of your memories?"

"Possible. I think it was quite in the beginning. You weren't as dominant back then." The other Justin shrugged, and Justin watched with fascination as his own shoulders - sort of - lifted under a plain white T-shirt. Then something occurred to him.

"What are we gonna tell the guys?"

"The truth, what else?"

Justin wondered for a short moment just when exactly he had lost that innocence the other Justin seemed to possess. "But, why should they believe it?"

Tilting his head to one side, the other Justin looked at him and smiled. "Aren't we proof enough?" His hand smoothened out a wrinkle in Justin's T-shirt.

"Well," Justin swallowed as he watched what appeared to be his own hand dance over his chest. "I guess we are."

"So he's you, except that he's not?" Joey looked confused. JC, Chris and Lance wore similar expressions.

Justin nodded. "Sort of. He's a part of me or something like that. Justin?"

The other Justin had been fingering JC 's hair, but stopped. "Yeah?"

"Can you explain, maybe?" Sighing, Justin leaned back in his chair and motioned for the other Justin to sit down as well.

The other Justin did. "Why I'm here?"

"Yes. I think they're even more confused than I was."

"Okay." Smiling, the other Justin poured milk over his cereal before he looked up into puzzled faces. "I'm Justin and he's me. It's just that we're different sides of the same person, of him, me; and Justin is the side you probably know better because he's been suppressing me."

"Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?" Chris asked.

Justin groaned.

The other Justin grinned. "No. Neither of us is evil, we're just different. I'm not as rational as Justin."

"How come?" Lance's eyes darted back and forth between them.

"I didn't have some of the experiences Justin did because he was so dominant sometimes that there wasn't any room for me."

"For example?" JC asked.

The other Justin turned innocent blue eyes on him. "I've never been kissed."

"You..." Joey coughed.

Lance's eyebrows shot up.

Chris burst out laughing.

Justin buried his head in his hands.

JC didn't break eye contact with the other Justin.

"We can't just call both of you Justin," Chris said.

"Why not?" the other Justin asked. "We are."

"Yes, but," JC shook his head. "It would get confusing. How about we call you J?"

"J?" both Justins repeated at the same time, their voices mixing together as one.

Then the other Justin grinned. "I like that."

They went back to their room after breakfast, sitting down on the carpeted floor, cross-legged and facing each other. The sunlight was streaming through the open windows, and far below, there was the distant sound of traffic, the faint aroma of vanilla filtering into the room through the air-conditioning system. They quietly studied each other.

Justin's eyes took in J's bare feet, wandered over slender legs hidden by the denim of tight jeans, skipped J's crotch, instead took in muscled arms and a strong chest before meeting eyes exactly like his own. He didn't have to look to know what was hidden behind the zipper of J's jeans. He had seen, touched, felt it often enough.

J bent his head, by all appearances studying his bare feet, wriggling his toes. "JC looks good."

"What?" Justin asked. He noticed that even though he had never liked his nose all that much, it fit J. Maybe it was because he didn't have to look into a mirror to study it closely.

"JC." Long fingers were rubbing circles into the soft skin of an ankle. "He looks good. Haven't seen him in a while."

"Oh no." Justin groaned. "Please tell me that you're not serious."

"What do you mean?" How could it be that Justin's very own eyes suddenly seemed that innocent and pure?

Justin shook his head. "You haven't gotten over that. That thing?"

"Thing?"

"Your. Our crush. On JC."

"You have?" J asked, his lips parting in surprise.

Justin rubbed his temples. "J, in case you didn't know: We're dating Britney."

"Britney? You mean, Spears?"

"Yes."

"We're, no, you are dating her?"

Justin sighed. "Yes."

"Why?" J asked, and no, Justin wasn't avoiding his eyes or anything.

"It fits."

"You're not in love with her." J's voice was sure, and Justin didn't contradict. "You like her?" J asked.

Justin shrugged, smiled slightly. "She's nice."

"But you're not in love with her," J repeated.

"I'm." A sigh. "No, I don't think so."

"Are you in love with JC?" J's eyes, intense blue, were focused on him.

"What kind of question is that?" Justin asked.

J smiled sheepishly, shrugged, dark lashes lowering. "I am."

"Great." Justin run a nervous hand through his hair, shook his head. "Just great."

"Justin..."

He looked up and found his own eyes once again staring back at him. "Yeah?"

"You slept with a lot of people, didn't you?"

"Well..." Justin turned away. "Not a lot, but. Enough. I guess."

"Men and women?"

He was not blushing. Justin Timberlake didn't blush, especially not because of a question he had asked himself. Sort of. "Yes."

"Can you teach me?" J asked, and suddenly, he was closer, way closer than he had been mere seconds earlier.

"What?" Justin sputtered, falling back on his hands.

"I wanna know what it's like to kiss."

Justin's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why?"

J didn't answer.

"JC," Justin said.

J looked away. Nodded.

"You want me to teach you how to kiss so you can kiss JC?" Justin repeated, just to be sure.

J nodded again, red tinting his cheeks, and Justin found himself thinking that it was somewhat cute.

He swallowed, his eyes darting to J's mouth, then back to look into hopeful eyes. "I don't think that's such a good idea," he whispered.

"Why not?" J asked.

"It's just, I mean, you can't go after JC just like that. He's our friend, and I don't think he'll react too well."

J frowned. "Can't I just try?"

"J, it's just." Justin reached for his hand and took it into both of his own. "It's not a very good idea, it's. There is too much that can go wrong."

"You're too rational," J said, and again, Justin didn't have a reply.

He sighed. "Okay. Okay, I'll teach you how to kiss, but if JC gets upset, then you're the one who takes all the blame, got that?"

J's smile was blinding.

"Come here." Justin patted the bed beside him and watched as J crossed the room, heading towards him. The mattress dipped as J sat down and turned to face Justin, his eyes wide in anticipation.

"Okay." Justin gave him a reassuring smile as he cupped J's face in both his hands, two pairs of identical eyes gazing into each other.

Justin observed even white teeth nervously chewing on soft lips.

"Trust me," he said.

J nodded and smiled. "I do. You're me, after all."

Justin returned the smile. "Close your eyes," he whispered.

Dark lashes lowered over blue eyes, and Justin bent forward, pressing his own lips gently against the ones in front of him, his own eyes fluttering closed. He stayed where he was for a moment, then pulled back slightly, his breath still ghosting over J's lips.

J's eyes opened. "Why did you stop?" he whispered.

"Are you sure?" Justin asked.

"Yes."

"Okay."

He moved forward, his arms coming around J's neck, his hands pulling them closer together. As their lips met again, he pressed a little more insistently, had to wait a few seconds until J responded, his lips parting slightly under Justin's own, moving in time with him. Justin waited another few seconds before tracing J's lips with his tongue, feeling them open wider in response as he probed slightly. They had to come up for air at some point or other, and when their lips met once more, J's tongue nudged against Justin's own, caressing and teasing.

J was a natural.

Justin didn't remember if he had kissed like that his first time, but he didn't think so. This was... Well, maybe J didn't have any experience, but he more than made up for it with talent.

Both gasping for air, they separated and stared at each other, chests heaving. Justin watched as J's tongue darted out to wet his lips, shook his head to get rid of the dizziness. They sat in silence for a few minutes, their breathing returning to normal, their gazes locked.

J's lips twitched into a nervous smile. "Was that okay?"

"Okay?" Justin repeated incredulously. "Okay? Boy, that was one of the best kisses I've ever had."

A wide, toothy grin threatened to split J's face in two. "Really?"

Justin nodded. "Really."

Justin didn't quite know when J had made his move, but two days later, he walked in on J and JC kissing passionately in the kitchen of the bus. J was sitting on the tabletop, legs spread with JC standing between them while J's hands were running through his hair, drawing him closer. JC had pushed up J's T-shirt, his hands caressing naked skin wherever they could reach it, and as Justin watched, J's legs wrapped around JC's waist, their groins rubbing against each other. JC pulled back mere inches, one hand pressed against J's cheek, his eyes staring into J's for long seconds, and then their lips collided again, the battle of eager tongues visible even to Justin's eyes.

Justin left the room as quietly as he had come in, his whole body tingling with a strange feeling he couldn't quite place, tight pants scraping almost painfully against his erection as he moved.

"You saw us," J stated the same night, when they were preparing for bed.

Justin paused, shirt in one hand, and turned to look at J. "What?"

"In the kitchen," J said. "JC and me. You saw us."

"How do you know?" Justin asked. "You had your back to me."

J shrugged and bent to remove his pants. "I know it when you're near. Don't you?"

"Yeah," Justin whispered, and really, he was not staring at naked J. He turned away.

"Justin..." He could feel J's breath hot against his shoulder and swallowed.

"J?"

"Can you..." Tentative hands turning him around, cupping his face. "Can you teach me one more thing?"

"What?" he asked, staring into blue eyes that were his own, yet weren't at the same time.

"Sex," J said.

"Sex?" Justin repeated, disbelief lacing his voice.

J nodded.

"What do you mean, sex?"

"Well." J wasn't looking at him. "Like, I mean. I don't," looked up, "want to disappoint him."

Justin swallowed. "I don't think you will. JC is." He cleared his throat. "He's in love with you, isn't he?"

"With us," J whispered.

"But he's with you," Justin pointed out.

"I am you."

Since he didn't really feel like talking about that, Justin reached for J's hand and squeezed gently. "Why do you want me to teach you? It's not as if JC wouldn't want you just because you don't know how to give a blow job or something like that."

"I know," J said. "It's just, I want to make it good for him, you know?"

Justin could understand that. If he were the one in JC's bed, then he would do everything to make it good for JC, too. Well, he was the one in JC's bed, in a weird, twisted sort of way, but. Yeah.

"So you want me to practice with you."

"Yes." J nodded.

"But that's... Don't you think that JC would appreciate it more if he were your first?"

J's eyes were wide. "But he will be!"

"How so, if you sleep with me first?"

"We're not sleeping with each other," J explained, excitement making his eyes sparkle. "We are each other, so if you teach me what it's like to give a blow job, then that's masturbation."

"Masturbation," Justin repeated slowly.

"Exactly." J grinned happily, his hands tugging Justin in direction of the bed, and - oh, right.

J was naked.

Justin wondered how he could have almost forgotten about that.

The blankets had been tossed to the floor and they were sprawled out on the bed, Justin's legs spread, J's head resting on his thighs, eyes closely studying Justin's erection. Justin tried not to thrust his hips as J slowly traced his shaft with a single finger, J's breath cool against heated skin.

"This is weird," J commented.

"What's weird?" Justin asked, inhaling sharply when he felt J's tongue lick a wet trail from the head to the base.

"This," J said. "I mean, I know what your dick looks like because it's my own, but it's still different."

Oh yes, it felt different indeed, Justin couldn't agree more. He bit his lip as a warm mouth closed around the tip of his cock, then retreated.

Propping himself up on his elbows, Justin peered down, finding his own blue eyes watching him. "Why did you stop?"

"Was that right?"

"Yes." He pulled J up for a gentle kiss, repeated the word against his lips. "God yes, that was right. Just go on."

J smiled down at him. "Can you maybe tell me what to do?"

"You want me to?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Justin laughed. "God, this is crazy. Here I am, explaining to myself how to give me a blow job."

J grinned and was about to make his way back to Justin's erection when a hand on his arm stopped him. He looked up questioningly.

Justin smiled. "When you're going to give a blow job, then don't just pay attention to the sucking part. You also have to, like, leave kisses or lick or whatever else you can think off while you work your way down to the cock."

"Like this?" J's tongue was quickly swirling around one of Justin's nipples, blue eyes focused on Justin's face.

Justin sunk back into the mattress, arched his back once before he could stop himself. "Exactly like this."

Placing a chaste kiss on Justin's thigh - which didn't make sense, but was the only way Justin could describe it -, J crawled back up from his place between Justin's legs and lay down next to him, watching as Justin tried to control his breathing.

"Are you sure you've never done that before?" Justin asked finally.

J shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I know that I didn't, but you did, and we're one, so maybe my body remembers doing it."

"Sounds like an explanation." Justin turned his head, his lips meeting J's for a gentle kiss. "That was incredible. Thank you."

J smiled widely, eyes twinkling merrily. "Let me guess. One of your best masturbation sessions ever?"

Laughing, Justin touched J's nose with the tip of his tongue. "The best."

"Justin..." Suddenly turning serious, J's hands reached for Justin's, their fingers intertwining almost automatically. "You ever bottomed for someone?"

Justin averted his eyes and shook his head, teeth nibbling on his lower lip. "No," he said, quietly. "You will, won't you? For JC."

J shook his head. "We will, Justin."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see."

The next night, J didn't share a room with Justin like he had all the nights before that one. For breakfast, JC and J appeared hand in hand, both of them practically glowing.

Justin tried to join the laughter of the other guys as they teased the couple, but didn't quite manage to shake off his sadness.

In order to avoid suspicion, J had been brought into the bus earlier. Justin had to hurry to make it in there before an eager JC, and as he entered, he found J already standing at the door to the living room, waiting for them. Waiting for JC, rather. He grabbed J's arm, and too surprised to protest, J followed as Justin dragged him into the bathroom and leaned against the sink, perplexed, as Justin closed and locked the door behind them.

"Justin?"

Accusing eyes turned on J. "You let him fuck you."

"What? Justin, I," J shook his head, tiny curls jumping. "I didn't."

"You. J, you told me you wouldn't, and." Justin swept the back of his hand roughly over his eyes. "And now you did it anyway."

"Justin. Justin!" J took a step closer. "It's okay to cry. You can, if you want."

"Well, I don't," Justin snapped. J looked at him, just looked, and after a few seconds, Justin sighed and bent his head. "Look, I'm sorry, it's just... I thought I was over him."

"It's okay." J smiled, his smile soon turning into a giggle. "God, you should listen to yourself, Justin. And I called you the rational one?"

Justin gave him a halfhearted grin in answer.

"Anyway." One of J's fingers reached out to trace Justin's bottom lip. "Look at me, Justin," J commanded softly.

Justin did.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then believe me when I say that I didn't let JC make love to me. Or," amused eyes boring into Justin, "let him fuck me, as you put it."

Justin's lashes lowered. "Sorry."

"It's okay," J repeated, his hand tilting Justin's face to look at him. "Justin? Can you do something for me?"

"What?" Justin asked.

"Tonight, I want you to go to JC's room. You. Not me."

"I..." Justin's eyes widened. Shaking his head, he took a step back. "I can't do that. Not that... I mean. I want to, J, God I do, it's just. He's yours, he's in love with you, and not with me."

J closed the distance between them again. "No, Justin. We're one, and JC knows that. He loves both of us, he loves you just as much as he loves me."

"But you're the one he's kissing and caressing and loving," Justin pointed out.

"Because he doesn't think that you would let him."

"You mean..."

"Yes."

Justin swallowed. "Okay."

He was everything J always said he was. He was calm. He was collected. He was experienced.

And God, he was nervous.

J gave him a once-over and grinned. "You look great, Justin."

"I look like you," Justin pointed out.

"See?" J laughed. "Told you you look great."

Justin shook his head. "I always look like you, silly."

Not commenting any further, J smiled. "You're nervous, aren't you?"

"A little," Justin admitted.

"Don't be."

"Easy for you to say. I didn't even kiss him yet. He'll." Justin's face showed an expression of mild terror. "What if he notices that it's me?"

"Then he'll be just as happy as he would be if it were me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay." Calming breath. "Then I guess I'm gonna go, huh?"

"You'd better," J agreed, his eyes shining. He caught Justin's hand just before he opened the door. "Can I have a goodbye-kiss?"

Justin turned. "You want one?"

"Yeah."

"Come 'ere."

Their lips found each other's practically on their own accord, bodies pressing together as if feeling the need to unite while hands were feverishly running up and down muscular backs and strong arms or kneading jean-covered flesh. As they separated reluctantly, breathing quick and shallow, they leaned their foreheads together, two matching pairs of blue eyes locking and not letting go.

And as always, J was the first one to break out into a smile. "You should go." Lips moving against Justin's as he spoke. Then he stepped back, his hands dropping to his sides.

Mustering a nervous smile of his own, Justin nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, then. And," turned just before he closed the door behind himself. "Thank you. Really."

J smiled instead of answering.

"Missed you," JC said, and then Justin was pressed against the door, JC's arms around him, JC's lips on his, JC's tongue in his mouth, and JC...

JC.

"Missed you more," Justin whispered against JC's lips, and it was true. He knew it was.

He had missed JC for years.

"Liar." JC smiled as he tugged Justin's T-shirt out of his pants, hands sneaking underneath to roam over smooth skin.

"I'm not." Justin bent forward again to claim JC's lips, but had to pause for a moment in order to get JC's T-shirt over his head.

"You so are," JC said, and then he just stopped and looked at Justin, sadness settling on his features.

Justin's hands moved to cup JC's face. "What is it?"

"How much time do we have?" JC asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," JC averted his eyes, "how long can you stay? You're a part of Justin, and, I don't know. It just seems so clear that one day, you'll go back to wherever you came from, and then I won't have anything left, not," he swallowed. "Not even a part of you. Him. Nothing."

Justin was sure that his heart had just stopped beating. "You don't love Justin like you love me?" he whispered.

"What?" JC looked confused for a second, then shook his head. "J, I thought we talked about this."

"I just." Justin shrugged. "I don't know."

"J." JC looked him in the eyes, and he couldn't look away even if he tried. Which he didn't. "I love you, you know that. But you're Justin, and he's you. So I love you both just the same. Because you are the same, you belong together, and I just. I can't separate you. It would be wrong."

Justin pulled JC closer. "Then why are you afraid that I'll disappear?"

"Because then I won't have any of you," JC whispered. "Not you, because you're no longer there, and not him, because he doesn't love me."

"He does," Justin said. "He does love you, JC. He loves you just as much as I do, it just took him longer to figure out because he was stupid and lost sight of what really mattered."

JC pulled back, sharp blue eyes questioning. "Justin?" he asked softly.

And Justin bent his head, studied his shoes because he didn't dare to look up. "Yes."

"I'm glad you came," JC said, and then his lips closed over Justin's as his arms held him close.

They separated after what seemed like mere seconds, the urge for air overwhelming, and right then, staring into JC's eyes, Justin remembered. He remembered that time during the lawsuit, when he had broken down in those arms that held him right now, remembered the same hands stroking his back, the same lips kissing his forehead and the same voice whispering soothing words into his ear as he sobbed against that chest. He remembered kissing JC for the first time in the living room of the bus, while everyone else was asleep, remembered JC's eyes going wide and starting to sparkle as he kissed back. He even remembered the time Joey had conveniently forgotten to order cereal because that's not breakfast, man, that's sick.

"J?" he asked silently, and immediately, he got a quiet giggle in return, a small voice laced with laughter inside his head.

"I'm here, Justin. And now stop staring and do something."

"I'm glad I came, too," Justin said aloud, a smile spreading over his face.

"Where's J?" JC's thumb was rubbing small circles into the skin of his stomach.

"He's with me."

Smiling, JC nodded. "Mission accomplished, is it?"

Justin grinned. "I think it is."

"It's a pity, though." A small frown formed on JC's face. "I would have liked to watch you giving yourself a blow job."

"He told you about that?" Justin blushed, and for once, he didn't fight it.

JC nodded solemnly. "I had a wet dream about it."

Eyebrows shooting up, Justin's mouth opened, then closed again as JC grinned at him, completely unashamed.

"So." JC pressed closer, their bodies touching from head to toe as he spoke against Justin's lips. "Will you let me make love to you?"

"Yes. Just," Justin lowered his eyes for a moment before meeting JC's gaze again. "You know that you'll be my first, don't you? I mean, the first to-"

"I know," JC said, hands caressing Justin's side. "I won't hurt you. I promise."

Justin smiled. "I know you won't."

JC didn't break his promise.

Naked and spent, they laid in JC's bed afterwards, Justin's head on JC's chest, JC's fingers playing idly with a few short curls on the back of Justin's head.

Justin shifted a little, then sighed happily and crawled on top of JC, knees astride JC's body. He lowered his head until their noses touched, unblinkingly staring into the blue eyes beneath him. "Again."

JC laughed, tugged on an errant curl. "Isn't it long past your bedtime, pretty boy?"

"I'm not pretty." Justin pouted, but dropped it upon seeing JC's smirk. He nudged JC's nose with his own. "Just once more."

JC raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Please?" Justin asked.

And then JC flipped them over and he was underneath that long slender body, right where he belonged. He wriggled around until JC's cock slid between his legs, raised his hips until it locked in place and slowly, still slick, pushed into him. Relaxing into the mattress as his legs spread further, Justin watched as JC's eyes fluttered closed, moved a little beneath him just to remind JC that hey, how about a few deep, nasty, hard thrusts?

And not necessarily just a few.

JC's eyes opened, and he studied Justin with a smile.

"JC, come on." Justin's hands gripped JC's biceps. "Please?"

"Please what?" JC grinned. Bastard.

"You know." Justin rocked his hips. "Please, JC."

"What do I know?"

Right in that very second, Justin decided that JC wasn't loving and sweet and caring and wonderful and perfect and JC. No. JC was evil and nasty and mean. JC sucked.

Or-

God.

Dear sweet lord no, JC didn't suck.

JC was-

Oh God.

PerfectwonderfulthankyouGodyes!

Just, yes, just...

Right there.

Oh.

JC...

Justin came in an explosive rush, JC still thrusting into him while he rode his orgasm out.

Lifting his head off the mattress, he claimed JC's lips, then fell back, looking up at JC, one hand pressing against JC's cheek. "Please, JC."

"Please what?" JC asked. Gasped.

"Come for me. Please."

JC did.

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