Sequential Thoughts

"It doesn't seem to matter how long you’ve known somebody, or under what circumstances you ended up meeting them; people are bound to change. Different tastes, different opinions, but feelings will always be the same. Only over the course of time do they get covered up, more feelings; more shit than you could ever have imagined encountering over the duration of your life. Perhaps its why we all live, to figure out what’s important from what isnt. Kind of like all your possessions at a lawn sale. Everything appreciated, some more than others , but in the end- Things have to go. To continue life building up emotions in search of something you think you have missed- You probably already berried beneath everything else. So do yourself a favor, take some time to think about your life. Separate what’s important what you can do with, and what you must not live without. But never forget, feelings are the wildcard for life- Change is imminent; be prepared for the twists in life, and realize that living your life to its fullest, is only to benefit somebody else."

October 11 2004

"Just another day, but I feel as though I have lost something I never realised I had. Not a big change, but a difference in my days that is definately noticeable. Like the colors viewed in everyday life just slightly dimmer ,and evenmore unattractive. The beat of heavy metal music no longer rythems my heart, but instead has been replaced with memories and a computer screen. I find it amazing how the beginning's of all our lives are so long, and the endings so short. There will be something missing from my life from now on, and I must face the impossibility of finding a possession of which I have no description; I believe this will be the goal of life for some time,and wonder if the feeling it has created will ever pass, and if so, at what time."

October 14,2004

Like music? Here's a good song. ALICE IN CHAINS - No Excuses Lyrics

"It's alright There comes a time Got no patience to search For peace of mind Layin' low Want to take it slow No more hiding or Disguising truths I've sold Everyday it's something Hits me all so cold Find me sittin' by myself No excuses, then I know It's okay Had a bad day Hands are bruised from Breaking rocks all day Drained and blue I bleed for you You think it's funny, well You're drowning in it too Yeah, it's fine We'll walk down the line Leave our rain, a cold Trade for warm sunshine You my friend I will defend And if we change, well I Love you anyway"

October 16,2004

As of today my computer/(The Site) has been tageted by three web hackers. Took a minute or two to figure out who they were ,but they've been dealt with. If they didnt like the site they shouldve just commented... That is why I spent about a hour of my time making a comment link....*sigh* I hope they miss roadrunner :D Good times, Good times.

Octorber 17,2004

"Is it possible that one person can worry about safety and welfare of over a hundred other people without the common conscience to think of themself? You would think it could make sense,in no form to care about an individual you've never met in person, and have only spoken to in keystrokes over the internet... but it happens. Something so insignificant as a group of colored characters on a computer monitor; Arranged in a distressfull away message could ever cause a human being to loose hours of sleep every night, lack of hunger,or even depression. Is this the hidden ideal of strength that has made a small portion of our population great? Or a quality many contain that weakens who we all are, or more importantly, who we all should become."

October 24,2004

"Just another day in paradise. Isn't that what we all should say? Seems the more familiar you become with somebody, the less you speak. I'm not sure if this is the reason why many will move on and away from those we know to meet new people, or if its of a simple coincidence that reoccurs regularly in all our lives. I once told a person not to judge somebody before you meet them, "Not to judge a book by its cover," but at some point you have to question why things are the way they are. If we were not to judge people before we meet them, where would we be? Constantly questioning whom we should meet and whom we should avoid. I believe that we all possess the ability to ascertain the positive influences from the negative in our lives. Weather we choose to be involved and associate with them is our decision. Maybe the reason your best friend is so,is not because you know everything about his or her past, but because both of your predictions were the same at first glance."

October 26,2004

"Actually its October 25th.. Have I gone mad? No, I just feel like its the start of a new day even though its only 9:13 PM. No more bullshit, just the simple truth. Well Ive lost that feeling that ive been discusing lately, that sullen dark need to appease "something" at sometime. You know what Im talking about, everybodys gotten it at some point,only I suspect only at different times than myself. You may have been victim to it during a tragic portion of somebodys life that you cared about, feeling the need to help them in any way shape or form untill things returned to the way they had been. I suppose anybody can relate to that... Only I carried that feeling about what ive come to know to be non-exsistent. The tragic but true portion of my life which ive come to understand and ultimately accept. I pitty those who take advantage of the people influenced by this disire to help and only hope they are returned with the same ill-respect that they have shown towards others. "What comes around, goes around" is the cheezy reminicent expression my mother contiually tells me. I now believe this to be true. I told her that she was right, and got the first smile of the day."