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Forward
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***Well here we are, it is almost time for Halloween Hell! The countdown is just over 24 hours. Today, I just wanted to get away from it all. So far I have attended a Press Conference(kinda), checked out the Sky Dome, and flew all over the place hyping the event at various locations. I am getting sick of all the fans asking me why I did what I did. Why I turned on them. Why I want to end Rey Mysterio's career. Why this, why that, it's too much! It's none of their business. I did what I did for me. Yeah, myself. Why should I do anything for them? What have they done for me? Nothing! If anything, they should be doing more for me. I am better than them, I have more skills than them, I entertained them for a year, and I have opened them my Comic Book Store! I wanted to get away from all that, but I couldn't! Today I have to come to my own store for a special appearance. That's right, today I am here at my own creation, RVD's Five Star Comics!!! Man, I love comic books. Ever since I was a little kid I have been facinated. I have liked them, but not been a geek about it. Now, today, I have to sit here and answer questions for all the teenage geeks. I hate these stupid little things, but hey... I guess as long as they keep making me money, I'll keep doing them!***
***Anyways, I drove up and outside my store, there was a desk set up for me to sit in with chairs for my security on each side. There was I'd say about 70 people there. I'm glad this wasn't hyped up much. Then, when I got out of the limo what do the geeks do? They cheer for me! Everywhere I go outside of a wrestling arena I get cheered. Why can't these idiots take a hint? I don't want a damn thing to do with them!!! Damn, just leave me alone. So, I walked up through the idiots with my security guards. I sat down in the middle of the desk in the best chair. My guards sat in the school-like chairs beside me. The manager of my store then got on the microphone and did the intro. Too bad Paul couldn't be here instead of this idiot, at least Paul knows how to do things the right way.***
Manager: Hello everyone, and welcome to RVD's Five Star Comics! Today we got a special guest, the owner of the store and WWE superstar Rob Van Dam!!! He is here to answer any questions you have for him. He asks that the questions be kept short because he's only here for 15 minutes. ***People boo.*** First question... yes, you over there in the WWE shirt!
First Question: Yes, umm, I was just wondering... do you think Rey Mysterio has what it takes to defeat you at Halloween Hell???
Rob Van Dam: Are you kidding me? Did you honestly just ask me that? How stupid are you, kid? I have NEVER been beaten! I NEVER will be beaten! Do I think Rey Mysterio can beat me? And what has Rey Mysterio EVER accomplished to be even on the same platform as me? Absolutely NOTHING! And that is why I picked him. I picked Rey Mysterio to end his career at Halloween Hell. Why did I pick him? I did it because he is given too much credit. Everybody praises the accomplishments of Rey Mysterio. He has done this, and he has done that. He hangs with the big guys despite being so small. He is so agile, so quick, so innovative. He is the Human Highlight Reel. But in reality, who made that phrase, who has that nickname? I am The Human Highlight Reel! Rey Mysterio is nothing. Oh and dude, sit your ass down over there. I will run the show here. Next question goes to the skinny kid with the bottom bottle glasses.
Second Question: Yes, well, back in January you had a run with the Xtreme Animals. How good of friends were you with Rey Mysterio, and has this battle became personal because of that time when you were close?
Rob Van Dam: Well he thought we were good friends. I never really liked any of them, though. I was just using them as protection. At that time in January, I had The Rock, I had Kevin Nash, I had AJ Styles, I had The Undertaker, I had all of these people to deal with wanting a piece of me, so by joining the Xtreme Animals I used them for more protection. I used them, then when they weren't needed I left! Simple as that. And yeah, it probably will make things more personal on his side now that he learns this information. He probably thought we were best buds back then. What a loser. Next question... little kid over there with his hot Mom!
Third Question: Mmmm... Hi! I... I uhh... I was to.... I want to ask you mmmm....
Rob Van Dam: Spit it out, kid! I don't got all day.
***The kid, scared, started to cry. His Mom, who looked pissed off, asked the question for him.***
Mother: Listen up asshole, he wants to know why you are being so mean to everbody now.
Rob Van Dam: Being nice gets you nowhere in life, that's why. Also, just because I am better than everybody. Other people need to be nice for the satisfaction of being a good person, and to be better than others. Me, I am just better than everybody as it is! I don't need to put on a show or stick up for the little guy. It's as simple as that. Fat ass in the front, your question!
Fourth Question: Well, you are the most celebrated athlete in WWE ever, and you won the title and your fame began a year ago on Halloween Night. With Halloween Hell being the one year anniversary of WWE- the place where you became a legend, what does this show mean to you?
Rob Van Dam: Well if you asked me this a few weeks ago I would have been raving about how fantiastic this show is and how it means the world to me, but now I see it in a different way. Yes, I am the greatest superstar in WWE history, I am the best wrestler ever, the whole show should be based around me! I know it is going to be a 2-fall match- it will NOT go 3, but that's not enough! I deserve to have the entire show based around me. I should be in every segment. I should be the Main Event. I should be there always so nobody ever forgets that I built this company from the ground up. That's it, this session is over! Buy something and get out.
***Finally! That felt like it lasted forever. Now I get some time to myself. I walked off the podium, and some people felt ripped off and started throwing stuff at me. Ha! What idiots. I can't believe they actually waster their hard earned money for this. Well, I walked down and went in to my store. I looked around and finally found my favorite comic book ever- Spiderman! I mean, I hate Spiderman as a hero, but I love the comics. But why do I love comics when I hate the main character? I love the villains! The bad guys are what make comic books worth reading. They create the hero, if there wasn't any bad guys, there wouldn't be need for a good guy. They create the story, because without a bad guy doing something to terrorize a city, what would the hero fight for? They make the comic books worth reading, if it is the right kind of villain. They have to have their own identity, their own strengths. If every villain was the same, it would suck. Come to think about it, comic books are just like wrestling.***
***I am the villain. I am just like the guys I read about. The Green Goblin, the Hobgoblin, The Joker, Venom, everyone! I am just like them. I create the heros. If Rey Mysterio wasn't fighting me, nobody would care! I created Rey Mysterio's fame and fortune. He was a nobody before I attacked him. Now he is just like Spiderman. He is smaller, weaker, and stupider than the villain, me! I am the one who created the story. I chose to end his career because he wasn't up to my standards. I chose to end it at Halloween Hell, a show that was made possible by me. If it wasn't for me, this match would be meaningless. What would be fighting for? And I have my own identity. I am the best, there is none better. Nobody is up to my level. Does Rey Mysterio have an identity? No! He hides himself behind that mask all the time. He is afraid of the real world. Afraid of ME!***
***This is my favorite comic book of them all that I got in my hand right now. Why? Because it features Maximum Carnage! Sound firmiliar? Kind of like... Xtreme Karnage? Yeah, that was MY group! It was based on Maximum Carnage. He is the ultimate villain. He has all the powers you can ask for. All the strength in the world. He is the smartest villain there was. Just like me! I can't be beat. I have all the talent you need in a wrestling ring. All of the ability. And I got the brains, too. I am creative, I know what my opponent is thinking, I know what to do and when to do it. And I have a following like Maximum Carnage did. People want to be me. I am the pinacle of all heels. The standard that will never be passed over.***
***The countdown is drawing closer. 24 hours away from the biggest event ever! The place will be packed. I will be the Highlight of the Night. 3 Stages of Hell will steal the show. I will be the center of attention- just the way I like it! This will be a battle of good against evil. In my comic books, the good guy usually comes out on top. This though, this will be an exception to the rule. The villain will come out on top this time. Rey doesn't have what it takes, he doesn't have the superhuman strength, he doesn't have x-ray vision, he doesn't have any special powers at all. Sure, he can fly a bit. That can easily be stopped, though. I will ground him and keep him down. Take away his offence, then go on the attack myself, and finish the job!!!***
***Rey Mysterio better be ready. He better be ready to fight for his life. He better be ready to dodge every bullet, to take the punishment of his lifetime, more carnage than a car wreck. Rey's career will be over. His life may end. This is a fight to the death. And it goes well with the saying... beat me if you can, SURVIVE IF I LET YOU!!!! On Halloween Night, Rey Mysterio will be taken... TO THE EXTREME!!!! By me,
Rob...
Van...
Dam!!!***
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