Reblooming..

8.26.02

I've been dieting to the point of unhealthiness in the past few months.
Angie says that I've lost so much weight that I'm beginning to look like a
skeleton. I don't know if I truly believe them or if they're exaggerating. My
body, my mind, has always been able to tell me when I'm pushing myself
too hard. I admit, I probably don't eat as much as I should, but I stay
active and take vitamins. I guess in America someone that doesn't drink
soda or eat salt seems strange and probably a bit sickly thin. But I don't
really care what other people think, I am changing my image to what I
want to look like, for once. I was so unhappy when I was fat, but now that
I'm shedding the weight I'm really starting to look at myself in a different
light, I like the way I'm beginning to look, healthier, more masculine.

I'm planning to get my nipples pierced as soon as I can afford to. I think
it'll greatly increase my self image. I want to be able to say that I look
good, and that may sound shallow and self absorbed, but I think there
should be a time in everyone's life when one spends some time
improving themselves, both physically and mentally.

Speaking of improving myself mentally, I've started reading Fahrenheit
451 by Ray Bradbury. It's a fairly good book, seems like the kind of story
that would be assigned as mandatory high school reading though, which
gives it an air of genericness. But then again, you have to wonder why
people will agree that something is a classic. Either they themselves
have been forced to read it, or it's actually a good book that many
people enjoy. I've come to the realization that this thought holds true for a
lot of things in life; Just because something has earned mainstream
appraise and notariaty, doesn't mean that it's garbage that is dumbed
down to fit the common man's terms, but instead could actually have
universal appeal that many people could enjoy. The same goes for the
oppisite side of the spectrum. Just because something is obscure
doesn't make it a great hidden work of art. No, instead it can make it just
as horrible as people describe it.

I almost forgot one of the most important events to happen in a long
while! Eric, Teresa, and I have found a place to live. It's a three bedroom
apartment with a freeway view. It is very clean and we hope to keep it
that way, although we don't own a vacuum, broom, or mop as of yet. I've
tried my best to keep the floors clean by hand, but that is truly turning out
to be a job made for more then one person. Speaking of jobs, I've
applied to work at Longs Drug Store, convientantly located three blocks
away. It doesn't sound that far, but these are rather large blocks, it takes
about 30 minutes to walk to the store. I have to call back tomorrow to find
out if I can schedule a second interveiw with the manager of the store,
and hopefully get hired. God, what I wouldn't do for a job, I just wish
someone would give me a chance, but it seems so hard to get a job
when your under 18. If this doesn't work, then I only have a part of next
month to find a job, but at least then I'll be of age to be more easily hired.