PEACE...
Check Point
I'm wondering sometimes if I can claim this lie and pretend to be the victim of surrounding circumstances, spawn through a world of social misunderstanding.. At times I'm not able to decipher what's right when I'm contemplating some of my choices..
Questioning my integrity, my loyalty and connections with others only after they've drowned out their voices..I must admit the over dramatized evidence due to negligence seems to soothe some of their souls..
My checkpoint is the reassessment and the evaluation of self to maintain my control..
I found myself full of wisdom and determination..
I let love live and insist to not let hate exist in my foundation..
While less regrets reap more benefits- I've been blessed with numerous gifts- I've learned to focus on reality.. And I'm not afraid to willingly admit or confront my insecurities.. But it took a lot of years and tears to reach this point in my life-enduring, endearing terms through struggles, stress and strife..
Where denial is only a word, and we tiptoe around each other fighting and hiding our hurting words..
But with all things that even comes with a price that could be paid and laid through relationships, ego trips to being open hearted and having the ability to live stess free.. And at times I feel I'm being crucified or judged because I'm able to express positive and negative energies through my poetry..
I'm wondering and reassessing me..
Am I too soft? Do I give too much of myself?
Or could it be the directions of my flow? Or the negative forces against me?
I have to ask myself these question sometimes, because for no reason or rhyme..
It seems as if I'm continously confronted with that extra switch..
Terrotorial issues, misunderstanding of time used, are the factors lying in different relationships..
And I can't understand what it is about me? Is it my heart? my experiences or spirituality?
Is it my lessons? Confessions or blessings that helped mold me into this spiritual being?
That keeps attracting people that be on that covetousness type thing.. Denying the drama that they bring.. I now realize my purpose, I was put on this earth to love and nurture and help human beings..
Is it the shine in my eyes that keeps them intrigued? Or admiration for my humility?
I'm wondering sometimes if it's me or is it all in my mind? The covetousness, the envy that's poisoning their minds.. And I know it can't be easy to admit because we've all searched for the truth at some point in our lives..
That's why I check!! I check!! Checkpoint just to clear my mind..
So I won't have negativity in my life..
The negativity that breeds in those deep dark places..
Searching to fill the void of the paranoid, in those angry and bitter spaces..
Sucking on the venom and it's energy that gets wasted..
Breathing the same air of the devil denying the taste of it...
That's why I check! I check! Checkpoint for me so they can't say in any way that this thing has been all about me...CHECK POINT
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