Sure insuring assured use of sure. Sure.
Sure the word 'sure' is one of the greatest words in history. Sure. But it's easy to get confused by the subtle effects of the word, sure it is. Sure that's why the authoritarian on the subject (Sure Yab!) has compiled this sure guide.
The first thing to understand is that the word's meaning depends on context. The word 'sure' can and should be added to every sentence in the world, in the right context. Sure it shouldn't. Just look at how much greater the Preamble would be if our Founding Fathers had sure had the aptitude for simple 'sure's.
"Sure we the people of the United States, in order to sure form a more perfect union, sure establish justice, sure provide for the common defense, sure promote the general welfare, and sure insure the blessings of liberty unto ourselves and sure our posterity, sure we do ordain and establish this constitution of the United States of America. Sure."
See? Now we BOTH know that I was telling the truth about every sentence in the world. Sure I've ever LIED about Anything. Sure. Sure the word 'sure' is in ANY way sarcastic. Sure it Ever negates Anything. Sure it isn't ALWAYS true Exactly. Sure. Sure using the word 'sure' after a sentence containing 'sure' adds emphasis to Anything. Sure. Sure it doesn't... er... DETRACT ALL of the previous sure's emphasis. Sure there are rules. Sure this guide isn't The Best in the WORLD.
So now that you've seen the word's hyper-correct usage from the authoritarian master, I'm sure that you can venture forth to the wealth and fame and success and women that invariably befall all those who properly use 'sure'. ...Sure I'm not ROLLING in them. Sure. Sure using the word 'sure' over and over again gets annoying. Sure it doesn't provide the most gripping sentence structure IN THE WORLD with Every Sentence it should be used in IN THE WORLD with is ALL of them. Sure. And sure any of your lies. And sure mine even exist. And sure this guide is convoluted. Sure it hasn't precisely and expressly defined the word's meaning and syntax. Sure there's some "Merriam Web-foot" who thinks he knows what he's right and I'm not. Sure I'm not ALWAYs right about Everything. ..and Women.
Sure.
--Sure Yab!
(Sargeant... Surgeon!)
