Top Ten Reasons why I am SO Suavicito! CALIENTE!
Congratulations are in order for you, my lucky little chiquita, you find my FANTASTICO web site! I am Lance Pedros and I am here to give my lovely Latino love to ALL the ladies of the world! World hug, ladies! Grab my masculatino arms and feel the warmth of my embrace. I am sweet. I am sexy. I am complete. There have been boys in your past--now, finally, meet the man of your future.
My philosopy is this: you cannot resist the loving that I give. I want to lay you down and cover your entire body with sangria, maybe some tortilla chips, and LICK. My aim is to bring you to the plateau of ultimate stimulation. I know your body and your mind, your heart and your soul. I want to dress you up and make you look like that fine-ass Gloria Estefan shit! I want to be your Miami Sound Machine, baby! You are the Carmen Miranda to my fruit-headdress-doo rag-thing. You + Me = CALIENTE! We will make the love all throughout the evening into the nighttime and through the next day. Insatiable!
Ok, so now you want my stats. That's cool, baby. I am Lance Pedros, Suave Latino. I desire to be a male model. I am 27 years old (aged to perfection--you know it!) and I am ready to dance my way into your heart. I like the disco--I've got the gold chains and the hard body to make *you* sweat. Watch me on the dance floor--if you can see me. I move. I move fast. I am the Dancing King. My motto is this: Do a little dance at the disco. Find the lovely lady (you) and make a little love. GET DOWN TONIGHT! Aye Caramba. Besides perfecting my physique and my hair (Suave Brand hair gel, baby--because looking good *doesn't* have to cause a fortune!), I also cook. I can cook like your mama. I make fresh tortillas the way my ancestors did. All I have to say is this: red beans and rice for your sexy ass (I'm all about squeezin' the "charmin"). MUY CALIENTE, yet again.
I will show you a picture of my sexy, suave self. I have an AOL Instant Messenger so that you can talk to me more personally: one-on-one, baby--sensitive style! My screen name is Suavicito Latino. I am number one on your buddies list. I urge you to email me with all of your suave requests. You need a date baby? Girl, I'm gonna rock your ass down to Electric Avenue and take you higher! I will romance you under the stars and possibly take you out for some ice cream. Then later, at the beach, I will reveal my speedos and dive into your ocean. A fun evening! Maybe you are a guy who isn't as suave as he should be? Maybe you need some advice from the OG of Love. Yeah, drop me a line, I'll tell you how to make your Cherished Chica melt in your masculintino arms and scream for several billion seconds! I'll tell you which pair of parachute pants are good for chillin' in your low rider--I'll even let you in on some of my ROMANTICO tips for scoring sexy senioritas! I'll even give advice to the Lovelorn. I am fully prepared to answer your questions and service you properly.
I AM HERE FOR YOU. ALWAYS. Because not only am I sexy and suave, but I am also a sensitive man that will understand your problems (and I know how to make love like a bastard!). But without you--I am nothing. Without you, I never want to dance again. It's like, guilty feet ain't got no rhythm. I mean, I never wanna dance again, the way I danced with you. I'd never want to cheat a friend. Always remember this.
Chillin' in the classroom
