Han's tea saga…


You know what? I am totally without humour this evening. You should see my face – my eyes aren’t even twinkling. My friend Brit says its because I’m lacking tea and she’s probably right. Did you know that in London there is a man called Steven… Peter? I can’t remember and he is a tea taster. I believe he owns Twinnings of London. This bloke drinks 9-15 cups of tea a day and that’s not even including the tea he drinks in his professional capacity. How much do I want that job?

Ahh, just the best quote. Well one of the best. Who ever gets the quote gets either a cookie or a vodka shot. They’re choice depending how publicly school girl you are:

Woman: Take me Garth.

Garth: Take you where? I’m low on gas, and you don’t have a coat.

Hmm, I reckon its just me that finds that funny. Ah well these things happen.

Like I said before, I am completely without humour, must get tea. The things is, it is twenty minutes past midnight and my parents are asleep. Now my Dad, bless his fucking hilarious little heart, sleeps like a log snoring included. So I can tell whether I’ve woken him up or not because he’d let me know. BUT, my MOTHER. Holy Mother Of God. Some of you might know that my Mum was a hawk in her past life. I’d walk to the toilet when I was little and she’d be there, checking up on me (weird – there was also a stage of my life when I thought she was psychic, but I’m over that now). I go downstairs or something and she’d know about it.

Now for your benefit I needed this cup of tea. So off I troddled down the stairs, but trying to be quiet. You see, heh, it sounds a lot easier then it actually is. We all know how much I love my cords – I hate them. You try to be quiet and they make noise! They taunt me with there swoosh swooshiness! Due to this small obstacle, it took me about 3 minutes to get down 14 steps.

THEN there’s the kitchen door. My brother oiled it so it wouldn’t make noise but now it just swings back and hits the pantry door after you’ve got past the din (bloody loud) of the door actually opening. There is just no way to make that door silent. By this time, 5 minutes had all ready past.

My third task was to face the kettle. The… yep you’ve guessed it, noisy (gobby cow – these are all for you Brit) kettle. Due to the fact that I didn’t want the whole neighbourhood to hear my kettle come to the boil. I didn’t boil the water all the way. So I made my tea with this, I guess hot water.

Then I remembered the whole cords thing for my way back up the stairs. Off go my cords. So I’m standing there in a baggy jumper, pants, socks and a woolly hat feeling slightly foolish and I went back upstairs a lot quicker than my first attempt.

In my head, this was an amusing experience so I hurried to write it all down before I forgot, happy that I’d got something to write about. And now?

Now my tea’s cold.