Most points in a game

Bill

57 points

Fewest points in a game

Bill

0 points

Cheesiest win

Jim

Leading by only one point right after the half, (making the game official) Jim mysteriously got  “disconnected”,ending the game. He secured a controversial victory.

Most liberal use of the phrase “That’s freakin’ bullshit!” during a game

Jim

38.66 (Cut off after “freakin’” on his last attempt). Game 24, “Best of 39” series #2.

Most smack talk without ever actually playing a game

Pat

For message board posts under the pseudonyms “Steve Rosenpenis” and “impartial unbiased o” (whatever the hell that is).

Least believable cover-up of a pseudonym

Pat

Shortly after posting a message as “Steve Rosenpenis” on the CFW message board, Pat attempted (unsuccessfully) to confuse Bill with this e-mail. (E-mail addresses were blocked out to protect the innocent) 

Most hackneyed humor in an e-mail, article, or message board post

Pat

After reading Bill's and Jim’s articles, Pat decides to throw his hat into the ring and make an attempt at humor. He cleverly points out for the billionth time in 15 years that “Bildo” rhymes with “dildo”, and an assortment of other comedy gems, mostly based on incidents that Bill and Jim had already used in previous articles to slam each other.

Lowest scoring game

Game 30,"Best of 39" series #1

Jim 7, Bill 0

Highest scoring game

Game 22, “Best of 39” series #2

77 points (Bill 57, Jim 20)

Most accusations of cheating in one day

Jim, 12/4/01 

Bill was accused of entering cheat codes after jumping out to an insurmountable lead early in the game. Unfortunately for Jim, Bill didn’t know any cheat codes and went on to win fair and square by 37 points. Jim cried himself to sleep that night.

Most cat turds eaten

Brutus the dog

1,368

Most cat turds eaten (secondhand)

Pat

“Come here Brutus…give daddy a kiss…good boy!”

Least relevant statistic

(Tie) “Most Cat Turds Eaten” and “Most Cat Turds Eaten [Secondhand]” 

Not relevant to Computer Football, but an important statistic nonetheless.

Fewest pass completions in a game

Bill

Bill’s quarterback was an outstanding 1 for 24 passing in a game against Jim.

Lamest use of 3D text on a web page

Bill

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