**The scene opens inside a semi-packed NMW Arena, where only about three-fourths of the seats are filled. The fans are still scurrying to their seats, when suddenly the MilleniTron blasts into a glow of bright white light, nearly blinding the crowd. A robotic clanging sounds begins repeating over the loudspeakers, as "Violent Reaction" by American Head Charge kicks in, and at the same time the MilleniTron’s glow dims as the letters "NMW" burst into flames on the screen. The camera zooms to different sections around the arena, picking up the usual crowd signs:

"Beam me up Buttercup"

"What kind of federation has a lawn gnome as commissioner?"

"I had sex with your mom last night!"

"My mom is dead…"

"Sorry, I didn’t know."

"One Man Rebell…Asshole!"

"If the sky is blue, X-Pac must be gay."

The camera makes a couple circles around the arena, which is now filling with even more fans. It swings around and makes a crash landing on the announce table, where Tyler Fredericks and Brian Erikson are sitting in their usual positions.**

Tyler Fredericks-Welcome NMW fans! We’re coming to you live tonight from a far-from-sold-out NMW Arena in St. Louis, Missouri!

Brian Erikson-I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Fredericks-Nonetheless, the show must go on, and what a show we have for you folks tonight!

MATCH 1. TRIPLE J VS. AIKEIRO

MATCH 2. ZACK MACOMBER VS. THE KNIFE (#1 CONTENDERS MATCH FOR NORTH AMERICAN TITLE)

MATCH 3. TIDES OF DARKNESS* VS. CHANG MUSTAFA AND CRAZY JOKER (TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH)

MATCH 4. CLIFF VS. JASON MOORE* (NORTH AMERICAN TITLE)

MATCH 5. GRAVEDIGGER VS. SILENT ASSASSIN

MATCH 6. THRESH CREST VS. MELVIN FROST* (NMW WORLD TITLE)

Erikson-Oh yes…there will definitely be pain tonight. I just hope you can stomach it all Tyler. We all know how much of a wuss you can be.

Fredericks-Hey! You better watch your mouth Erikson. I’m the guy who saved your ass from drowning last week, remember?

Erikson-What?

Fredericks-I said…Aw, screw you.

Erikson-Hehehe. Just say the line Tyler…

Fredericks-…I hate you.

Erikson-I hate you too Tyler, I hate you too.

**Business picks up as "Full Nelson" by Limp Bizkit hits, and the NMW Champion, Melvin Frost struts down to the ring, to the adulation of the roaring fans. He climbs into the ring, and holds his belt up in the air, showing it off for the crowd. He calls for a mic from ringside, which the timekeeper throws to him. Melvin bobbles the microphone, before dropping it on the mat. He blushes and picks it up.**

Melvin-Friends, Trekkies, NMW fans…lend me your ears! I have come before you here tonight to deliver my first address as World champion of New Millenium Wrestling. My first order of business, Thresh Crest.

**The crowd boos at the sound of the One Man Rebellion’s name.**

Melvin-Yes, I know…Thresh is lower than a Romulan at a Ferengi convention, being regulated by the Klingons. Heck, just ask Quark!

**The crowd buzzes with confusion.**

Melvin-Nonetheless, I WILL be victorious tonight, because if I lost, I don’t think my Melvinites would be able to handle it.

**A small group of fat, ugly kids wearing Star Trek gear begin cheering in the front row.**

Melvin-But anyways, I will still be the NMW champ when the night is over. Thresh may scare me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t beat him to a bloody pulp. Ewww, that sounded really gross. I’ll beat him to a…gooey pile of…um, goo! There we go! Now, on to other matters. A lot of people have been saying that I am not the rightful NMW champion. Well, all I have to say to those people is…

**"Breathe" by Nickelback hits, scaring Melvin out of his boots. He looks up to the entrance ramp as lights begin to flicker, signaling the entrance of Thresh Crest. Melvin looks up at the ramp for a few more moments, getting ready for an attack, but nothing happens. Finally, the MilleniTron blinks into clear view, and Thresh Crest is standing at a close-up angle. He grins sadistically at the crowd and Melvin. The crowd instantly breaks into a chorus of jeers.**

Thresh-Well hello there Melvin Frost, NMW Champion. You look good tonight, and that’s good, because after I’m finished with you, there won’t be anything left of you but grinded f***ing Trekkie burger.

**The crowd erupts into even more boos as Melvin begins stomping around the ring. Thresh just continues grinning, as he begins to take a few steps backwards, revealing the scenery behind him…a locker room filled with Star Trek memorabilia, littered with posters, action figures, and a bookshelf stacked with countless Star Trek video tapes. Melvin’s eyes widen as he realizes where Thresh is.**

Thresh-Does this place look familiar Melvin? That’s right, it’s YOUR locker room. This is YOUR useless Star Trek crap. This is YOUR home away from home. And if I don’t get MY title tonight, YOU are going to end up worse than what I’m about to do to your locker room.

**Melvin begins shouting at the MilleniTron as Thresh raises an aluminum baseball bat into view on the video screen.**

Thresh-Hope you’re ready to lose tonight Melvin, because once I’m done destroying all of THIS shit, I’m gonna destroy YOU, and take what it rightfully mine…the NMW title. Time to shift into hyperdrive, you little dipshit…

**Thresh turns away from the camera and begins swinging at everything in sight. He rips Melvin’s posters off the walls, smashes all of his Star Trek models, and finishes off the destruction by tipping over the book shelf filled with video tapes. It comes crashing down with a sickening crash, as Melvin watches in horror from inside the ring.**

Thresh-Funny thing is…the room actually looks better now…

**Thresh begins cackling again as the MilleniTron fades to black, and Melvin hops out of the ring, running to the back.**

Fredericks-Well, that was disturbing.

Erikson-Frost deserves it though, he stole the NMW title from Thresh. Thresh’s feet never hit the floor in the Rumble. Melvin knew that, and yet he took the belt anyway!

Fredericks-Your logic never cease to amaze me Brian.

Erikson-It must be hard for you to keep up with an intellectual like me.

Fredericks-Eh, I’m used to…Wait a second. I’m being told we have a live feed from the cameras backstage, let’s cut there now.

**Camera cut to the backstage area, where Melvin is racing down the hallway, slipping around corners, and running past several homeless crew members. He finally reaches the door to his locker room, where he stops, and listens inside. He hears nothing, so he slowly opens the door, and steps in. He looks around at all of his possessions, destroyed, and scattered all over the room. Water begins to form in Melvin’s eyes, when he notices some writing in red spraypaint on one of the walls of his room. It reads "TurN ArOuNd ChAmP." Melvin, stricken with fear, slowly turns around…and sees Thresh Crest standing there, still holding the bat.**

Melvin-…Th…Thr…Thresh. I….I….can’t……

Thresh-Shhh, don’t speak. It only prolongs the pain.

Melvin-…Wha….what….pain???

Thresh-THIS pain!

**With that, Thresh swings the baseball bat in an upward motion, uppercutting it right into Melvin’s jaw! Melvin’s head snaps backwards, and his body goes limp. He falls to the floor, unconscious. Thresh looks down, and drops the bat.**

Thresh-Home run.

**Thresh laughs and leaves the room, as the camera fades on Melvin’s broken body.**

________________________________________________________________________

**Triple J is shown in his locker room, watching a monitor. Closer inspection shows last revolutions match between Cliff and Aikeiro. For some reason the screen is stuck on the image of Cliff and Aikeiro’s asses.**

Triple J- Look, Aikeiro, I don’t care just how good you think you are at being hardcore, but I am as hardcore as they come…

**Triple J giggles for a moment at the thought then continues**

Triple J- So tonight, I will show you the epitome of what hardcore really is. Are you really silly boy?

**Triple J looks over at the table and frowns. He picks up a knife and holds it loosely, even twirling it around.**

Triple J- Unh… Emelio, what is this knife doing here?

**The screen fades away.**

________________________________________________________________________

**Seth Winters sits in his office, at his desk, and appears to be deep in conversation with his assistant, Cliff.**

Cliff-I still don’t understand it man. Why did you give them all that? Our budget is tight enough already.

Winters-Trust me dude. We’ll make my investment back tenfold once this company I put $20,000 into takes off. I’m telling you Cliff, besides NMW, the company I invested in will be the fastest rising one on the market.

Cliff-I just find that hard to believe. I mean, you’re under enough pressure already…and I’m afraid that this company you invested in may fail, and stress you out even more. What was the name of that company again?

Winters-Magnetic Vaccuum Cleaners Incorporated. How can they lose my money with a concept like that? Cliff, we’re gonna be rich!

**Cliff looks as if he is about to argue again, when suddenly Winter’s phone buzzes. Seth presses a button on the phone and a receptionist can be heard on the line.**

Receptionist-Mr. Winters, your guest has arrived.

Winters-Wonderful! Send him to my office right away!

Receptionist-Yes sir. He’s on his way.

**The phone buzzes again as Winters leans back in his chair, grinning at Cliff.**

Cliff-A guest? Who did you invite here?

Winters-Only a new prospect for NMW.

Cliff-I see. I didn’t know we were still accepting new wrestlers.

Winters-We’re ALWAYS accepting new wrestlers, Cliff. Plus, this guy was recommended to me by a very honorable source.

Cliff-And who might this source be?

**Winters is about to answer Cliff, when the door to his office opens…and a man in white face paint and a multi-colored clown suit steps into the room. Winters stands up and shakes the man’s hand.**

Winters-Buddy! I’m so glad you could make it here to see me.

Buddy-I would have been here sooner, but I had a longer trip than expected. I just flew in from Seattle, and boy are my arms tired!

**Winters bursts into hysteric laughter, as Cliff stares straight-faced at the clown.**

Cliff-Wait a minute…YOU are our newest prospect? A clown? Seth, you can’t be serious.

Winters-(still laughing) Cliff…NMW has been getting criticized lately for not having enough comedy. Therefore, I’ve decided to bring in Buddy the Clown to provide for some entertainment. He’s not really trained as a wrestler, but damn he’s funny!

**Buddy smiles as only wrestling clowns can.**

Cliff-Seth…I think you need to take a break for a while. It seems to me that this job and all the stress is finally getting to you. Maybe you should just put it on hold for a while.

Winters-Put it on hold!?!? I could never do such a thing. The NMW is my baby, and I’m not gonna let our commissioner run it without me being here. So I’m staying, I can handle the stress!

Cliff-I really don’t think that’s a good idea…

**Buddy the Clown suddenly chimes in.**

Buddy-You know what I think?

Winters-I’m all ears Buddy.

Buddy-I think you should give me Mike Rathje in a match next Saturday!

Winters-Marvelous idea Buddy! I’m glad I thought of it! Rathje has been going around talking about how funny he is…so for one night only, we’ll see who the real comedian of NMW is! Score!

**Winters and Buddy high-five, as Cliff shakes his head, with a worried look in his eyes. The camera fades out from the office.**

________________________________________________________________________

Erikson-Wow…a clown in NMW…

Fredericks-Brian…remind me why we agreed to work here again…

Erikson-I don’t know Tyler, I don’t know…

Fredericks-I’m scared. What if we lose our job security??? I have a wife and two kids!!!

Erikson-Calm down Tyler, it’ll be ok…Winters knows what he’s doing…I think…

MATCH 1. TRIPLE J VS. AIKEIRO

Fredericks- Now it’s on to our next matchup. We saw Aikeiro defeat Cliff last week in a hardcore match, kicking off the young fella’s career.

**A replay flashes across the screen showing Cliff under the fork lift and Aikeiro doing the flipping leg drop with the chair.**

Erikson- And what an ending it was, what do you call that flipping thing?

Fredericks- Flipping leg drop with the chair…

Erikson- Ah.

**"Waiting to Die" by (hed) PE hits as the fans begin to cheer wildly for Aikeiro. The music plays through while the fans keep cheering. His song comes to an end but Aikeiro still hasn’t come back.**

Erikson- You know what that means right?

Fredericks- Damn skippy, get a camera back there!!!

The screen opens up as the cameraman is running to the back where Triple J just whipped Aikeiro into the garage door. Aikeiro backs up after being slammed in and Triple J brings him down with a facebuster! He jumps back up and walks off screen. Aikeiro begins to get up as Triple J comes back, chair in hand. Triple J makes a wide swing and cracks the chair over Aikeiro’s head! Aikeiro falls onto the ground, holding his head in pain. Triple J slams the chair repeatedly over the downed body of Aikeiro until his body goes limp.

Fredericks- This is just sick…

Erikson- Welcome to the business Fredericks.

Triple J picks Aikeiro up and throws the chair down on the ground. He grins and kicks Aikeiro in the gut dropping him down into position for the Painful Realization (Pedigree)!!! Triple J tries to pick up Aikeiro but Aikeiro flexes and keeps from being driven into the chair! Aikeiro pulls up and picks Triple J up and flips him off! Triple J lands on the ground and holds his back for a moment before getting back up. By the time he gets back up Aikeiro has already picked up the chair and has slammed him with it in a baseball bat swing! Triple J lands back on the floor while Aikeiro slams the chair back on the ground and walks off for a moment.

Fredericks- Ah payback…

Erikson- Indeed.

The camera follows Aikeiro as he brings a table back over to the area. He sets it up and proceeds to kick Triple J in the face. Triple J moves a bit and begins to get up when Aikeiro kicks him in the face again, Triple J keeps getting up as Aikeiro keeps kicking. Triple J stands up as Aikeiro swings another kick, but Triple J catches it! Triple J pulls his foot in and grabs Aikeiro, slamming him onto his knee in a Manhattan drop! Aikeiro pops back up on his feet, holding his groin with a "I just got kneed in the nuts" expression on his face. Triple J kicks him and hooks him up in a suplex, he picks him up and stalls it! Finally Triple J brings him back down, slamming him on the concrete backstage. Triple J gets up quickly and looks at the table that Aikeiro erected.

Erikson- Ata boy!

Fredericks- You really need to get rid of your obsession with tables.

Erikson- You really need to get rid of your obsession with little boys.

Fredericks- *Sigh* tuche

Triple J grabs Aikeiro by the hair and picks him back up, he throws him onto the table and looks around. He spies a ladder standing against the wall, so he runs over and grabs it. He’s running back when Aikeiro slams a chair into the ladder, which knocks Triple J in the head! Triple J falls back with the ladder on top of him. Aikeiro sets up the chair and gets a running start. He leaps and body splashes on top of the ladder, smashing Triple J! Triple J howls in pain as Aikeiro takes the chair and smashes it on the ladder, further crushing Triple J. Aikeiro looks at the chair in his hand, then at the ladder, and grins evilly.

Erikson- What’s that boy? You sense something?

Fredericks- Oh geezus…

Aikeiro takes the ladder off of Triple J and sets it up near the table and goes back to Triple J, he looks around, but can’t find him! Aikeiro begins desperately looking around for his missing competitor. He turns around again to have a steel pipe swung into his gut! Aikeiro falls to his knees as Triple J pulls the pipe up over his head, getting ready to swing it down onto Aikeiro’s head! He pulls back and brings it forward, but Aikeiro catches Triple J’s arm!

Fredericks- Oh my god!

Aikeiro, while holding his stomach, slowly gets back to his feet. Aikeiro puts his hand above Triple J’s hand, and Triple J brings his other hand around, placing it above Aikeiro’s! Aikeiro puts his hand up and Triple J puts his hand above his on top of the pole, Triple J sticks his tounge out at Aikeiro as Aikeiro knees the bottom of the pipe into the crotch of Triple J! Triple J’s eyes roll into the back of his head and he falls down onto the concrete. Aikeiro picks Triple J up, he gives him a swift kick and slams him down with a jackhammer! Triple J’s body bounces off of the ground again as the crowd begins to cheer loudly. Aikeiro quickly pops back up and with the crowd behind him he taunts at Triple J! Aikeiro grabs Triple J by the head and throws him onto the table, he grabs the chair and begins to climb the ladder!

Fredericks- You are kidding me…

Erikson- OOOOooooOoOOoooo…

Aikeiro reaches the top of the ladder, he points down at Triple J and leaps off! He flips in mid air and places the chair under his leg, he lands on Triple J’s head, breaking the table!

Fredericks & Erikson- HOLY SHIT!

Aikeiro stays on top of Triple J as the ref gets down to count……….1………..…2…………….3!

Anna Lopez- Winner at 4:17, Aikeiro!

Fredericks-And the Scary Guy gets the win.

Erikson-Correction…the MISFIT gets the win, as Thresh so eloquently put it.

Fredericks-Nice call.

________________________________________________________________________

**Thresh Crest is standing in front of a soda machine backstage, inserting a dollar into the machine. He presses a button, and nothing happens. Thresh immediately snaps, and begins pounding on the soda machine, denting it severely, until several sodas come rolling out. He picks one up and cracks it open.**

Thresh-Excellent.

**He begins walking off down the hallway, but when he turns, he comes face to face with the Tides of Darkness and Morbid Angel. Thresh says nothing, and the other three men say nothing. Then, after a few moments, Kaltuul speaks up.**

Kaltuul-Thresh Crest…we’ve been looking for you.

Thresh-Ok…so is there some reason you’re standing here wasting my time?

Belthazar-Yes there is. There’s a very good reason. We want to ask you to join us.

Thresh-Join you? But you’re just a bunch of misfits who think they’re cool because they have the tag belts. Plus you’ve got this Angel guy…ooooo, be afraid of the scary Angel. And that Aikeiro punk…where the hell is he?

Morbid Angel-It doesn’t matter.

Kaltuul-Thresh, we understand your rashness in turning our offer down. We know you take pride in being on your own. However, we think that with you as our leader, our group can be unstoppable. NMW won’t be able to handle us.

Thresh-Your leader, eh? Well, in that case…NO!

**Thresh steps to the side, trying to get around the men, but they step to the side as well, blocking his path.**

Thresh-I’m warning you all…Get out of my way.

Belthazar-At least consider our offer Thresh. Just think of the possibilities…you’ll be NMW champion in no time, while Morbid Angel and Aikeiro can capture the other singles titles, and we’ll be an impenetrable force. You can’t deny that.

Thresh-I said NO! Now move, or I’ll send you all to the hospital faster than you can pull a rabbit out of your little black magic hats!

**The three men sigh and step to the side, letting Thresh go through.**

Thresh-If you ever pull something like that again, I’ll injure every damn one of you.

**Thresh steams off, as the three look at each other.**

Kaltuul-He WILL lead us.

Belthazar-He WILL lead us.

Morbid Angel-We will make him.

**The Tides and Angel scowl at Thresh as he walks off down the hall. The camera fades from the scene.**

________________________________________________________________________

Fredericks-Wow…that’s a new development.

Erikson-The Misfits and Thresh…I salivate at the possibilities…

Fredericks-Well, stop. You’re getting our table all wet.

**"Just Got Wicked" by Cold hits up, and the crowd gives a mixed reaction as President Seth Winters makes his way down to the ring. He has a big, stupid grin on his face as he stares around at the crowd, before stepping into the ring and grabbing a mic from ringside.**

Winters-Hello once again, NMW fans…or as the homeless people like to say, "Hey." I have come before you at this time to make a very special announcement. I’m sure you all have been curious about when New Millenium Wrestling’s next Pay-Per-View will be. Well, I am here to answer that question!

**The crowd pops. Winters pulls a notecard from his pocket.**

Winters-The next PPV will be on 11 Rebmevon, and it will be called Xallarap!

**The crowd sits in silence.**

Winters-Oops! My bad, I read the card upside down. The next PPV will be on November 11th, and it will be called Parallax!!!

**NOW the crowd cheers.**

Winters-I think you will all enjoy what he have planned for the Pay-Per-View. The commissioner and I have worked long and hard on some ideas, and it should be a spectacular show! Well, I’m outta here. Enjoy the rest of today’s Revolution!

**"Just Got Wicked" hits again and the President leaves the ring.**

Fredericks-Sweet! Our next PPV has been scheduled!

Erikson-How come he didn’t announce any matches? Well, just for the sake of having a good show, I challenge YOU Tyler.

Fredericks-You can’t challenge me you idiot, we’re commentators.

Erikson-Well, in that case, I challenge THAT guy!

**Erikson points to an obese man in the front row.**

Erikson-Yeah that’s right Porky, you’re mine…

Fredericks-*sigh* And on to our next match.

MATCH 2. ZACK MACOMBER VS. THE KNIFE (#1 CONTENDER FOR NORTH AMERICAN TITLE)

**"Boiler" by Limp Bizkit erupts through the loud speakers and the fans cheer. Knife emerges from the entrance with the Extreme Title draped over his shoulder. He raises his arm as the fans cheers get louder.**

Erikson- What the hell kinda name is Knife? He must use one to cut his lines of coke…

Fredericks- I don’t think we can say that on the air dumbass.

Erikson- Oh shut up basta….

**Interrupting Erikson, "Synthetic" by Spineshank erupts and the crowd goes into a frenzy of cheers. Zack Macomber walks out on the stage and points to the crowd and then does the thumb pointy thing, as the crowd screams Z-R-M.**

Anna Lopez- This match, set for one fall, is for the #1 contendership to the North American Title.

**Zack walks up to the Knife and gets in his face and does the Thumb Pointy thing to him while the crowd screams, Z-R-M. Out of no where, "Confession" by Cold hits and Jason Moore, once again dressed in all black, struts onto the stage followed by his second in command Pablo and at least 9 other Mexicans. They all begin walking towards the ring, Moore begins heading towards the announce table as his Mexicans surround the ring.**

Fredericks- Welcome, Jason Moore.

Erikson- What a surprise! **Under his breath** Wish I could say it was pleasant.

Moore- What did you say?

Erikson- Wish you would do it more often.

Fredericks- Why did you bring your army with you and why are you here?

Moore- Well I have to face the winner, so I figured I would scout, and I wanted to make sure nobody interfered so I would face the better man.

Fredericks- Right…

The bell rings and the match begins with Knife charging Zack, and Zack nails a dropkick send Knife falling to the ground. Zack mounts him and delivers 6 hard right hands before the ref pulls him off. Zack turns and taunts one of the Mexicans and Knife is slow to get up. Zack turns around and hits a snap suplex and holds on to it to hit another. ZRM mounts the second turnbuckle and drops a forearm across Knife’s face. Knife rolls over to lift himself of the ground, but Zack kicks him in the mid-section sending, him rolling out of the ring. The 3 Mexicans rush the Knife and send him into the ring.

Fredericks- Well the Mexicans are keeping it clean.

Moore- Of course. I told them to treat both men with the utmost respect.

Erikson- They still smell like shit.

Moore- You damn right they do, I swear those guys never take a bath.

Zack quickly pounces on Knife picking him up and signaling for the ZZT, he kicks him in the gut and grasps his head…when Knife counters with a Northern Lights suplex. Zack kicks out before the count can start and is quickly up on his feet and charging the Knife. The Knife hits a drop toe hold and graps him in an Achilles Lock. Zack flinches in pain but kicks Knife in the head to counter. Zack gets to his feet and grabs the wobbly Knife, throwing him over the top rope and sending him flying into 2 Mexicans, causing all 3 men to crash into the guardrail.

Moore- Dammit Macomber! You’re gonna get it!

All of a sudden, 2 Mexicans slide into the ring and attack Zack. He dispatches both with the relative ease of a double ZZT. A third Mexican slides into the ring as a fourth climbs the ropes. The Mexican in the ring charges as the other does a cross body block towards Macomber. Zack drops to the ground causing the flying Mexican to nail his compadre with a cross body block!!! The 3 remaining Mexicans run to the back as Zack jumps out of the ring and heads towards Moore.

Moore- You Son of a Bitch, who the hell are you to attack my army?

Zack- Don’t you know? I’m **Does the thumb pointy thing** (In unison with the crowd) Z-R-M.

Moore- F**k you, you cocky bastard!

Moore jumps over the announce table and gets right up in Zack’s face. The 2 exchange words and then begin to exchange punches slowly moving towards the Spanish announce table. All of a sudden both men stop and turn to see Knife flying from the top turnbuckle hitting both men with a flying body press through the announce table!!!

Crowd- HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Erikson- HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Fredericks- Brian, snap out of it! **Smacks Brian Erickson.**

Knife jumps up and begins punching Jason Moore, then jumps on top of ZRM and begins punching him. Knife picks Zack up and rolls him into the ring. Knife begins pounding ZRM into the corner. Knife Irish whips ZRM to the opposite turnbuckle and he bounces off and Knife kicks him in the gut and goes for the Cutter (Stone Cold Stunner)!!! Zack counters with a shove into the corner and nails a clothesline to the back of the head. Zack sees Moore slowly getting to his feet and begins to taunt him. Knife grabs Zack’s arm and spins him around and kicks Zack in the gut and goes for the Cutter (Stone Cold Stunner) once again….but out of nowhere ZRM counters with the Zack Sleeper (Tazzmission)!!! Knife fights as hard as he can but Zack takes him to the ground. Knife fights the hold but slowly begins to lose consciousness. The ref lifts his arm ……….1……lifts it again………..2…………raises it again……..…..NO!! Knife’s arm doesn’t drop!!! Knife is surging and beginning to get to his feet. Knife has gotten to one knee, now he’s to his feet. He surging, but Zack wraps his legs around Knife taking him back down to the ground. After a few moments Knife seems to have lost consciousness again. The ref raises his arm and lets go…………1………..he waits a second and raises it again and lets go…………..2………One last time the ref raises the Knife’s arm and lets go……….…….. 3!!!! The bell sounds.

Anna Lopez- Winner at 7:21, and #1 Contender to the North American Title, Zack "the Mack" Macomber!

**The Crowd erupts with cheers when Zack’s name is announced. During the excitement, Jason Moore slides into the ring and attacks Zack.**

Erikson- Looks like ZRM wont get to celebrate very long.

**Moore pounds on the Mack cause him to bleed and Pablo throws Moore the North American Title. Moore picks the Mack up off the ground and nails him with the belt, and then climbs the top rope and jumps off, driving the title into ZRM’s face!!! Moore drops the title and signals for his finisher, the Confession (Top Rope Vertebreaker)!!!!! He sets the bloody Macomber on the top rope and taunts the crowd one more time, before stepping up onto the second rope, behind Zack. Without warning, Zack reaches back and slides the stunned Moore over his shoulder! ZRM jumps and spins in mid-air…driving Moore down with the Zackinoku Driver (Michinoku Driver) sending the crowd into a frenzy!!! Pablo climbs in the ring and picks up the title and swings as the Mack. Zack ducks and kicks Maurice in the gut causing the title to drop on Moore’s crotch, then he drops Maurice with a ZZT on the title and Moore’s crotch!!! He picks up the title and drapes it over his shoulder and climbs the turnbuckle. He does the Thumb Pointy Thing while the crowd screams, Z-R-M! He jumps down and throws the title on the back of Maurice’s head which is in the crotch of Jason Moore.**

Erikson- Does that mean Jason Moore is gay?

Fredericks- No you moron, the just means the The Mack kicked their collective asses. Now if Moore gets excited…then yes he is.

Erikson- Great…the last thing we need is another X-Pac running around.

________________________________________________________________________

**The Knife is now in the back, walking into his locker room. He sits down and puts his head in his hands, disappointed after his loss to Zack. Melvin Frost walks into the room soon after, and the crowd can be heard cheering in the background. Melvin has his jaw bandaged up, and he notices Knife’s dejection. He walks over and pats Knife on the back.**

Melvin-It’s ok man. You have nothing to be ashamed of…Zack is a great wrestler, and he just got lucky tonight. Plus, those Mexicans put you at even more of a disadvantage.

Knife-I know…but I wanted to win that match so badly. I can’t believe I lost, Melvin. I won’t be able to sleep tonight knowing that I blew my chance at the North American title.

Melvin-Dude, you’ll have other chances. You just had an off night. Heck, look at me…I darn near had my jaw broken by Thresh Crest. Look at this…

**Melvin points to a large bruise on his jaw.**

Melvin-See, we both have had a bad night so far. But I’ll tell you what, I’m not going to let it get me down. Instead, I’m going to beat the poop out of Thresh.

Knife-Yeah, I guess you’re right.

Melvin-Of course I am! Now you cheer up, and I’m gonna go get ready, alright?

Knife-But Melvin, Star Trek comes on in 5 minutes.

Melvin-It’s gonna have to wait, because I have to hand Thresh a royal butt-kicking. Beam me up Knifey, I’m going to war.

Knife-Good luck man.

**Melvin turns and leaves the room, as Knife smiles and stands up. After standing for a moment, he walks to the door. But as soon as he opens it, he is met with a flying boot to the face! Knife staggers backwards in pain and confusion, as another kick lands on his face with lightning speed! Knife falls against the wall and regains his sight, as he sees…Aikeiro standing in the doorway!!!**

Knife-Ow…what the hell are you doing?

**Aikeiro says nothing as he stalks slowly into the room. Knife gets up, holding his cheek. With one quick motion, Aikeiro jumps and spins, raking his foot across the face of Knife once again in a vicious Tornado Kick! Knife’s head snaps to the side from the impact, as he falls against the wall, out cold. Aikeiro looks down at Knife, before speaking some slurred English.**

Aikeiro-You…me…Xtreme title…next Revolution…

**With that, Aikeiro turns and leaves the room, Knife a bloody mess lying against the wall.**

________________________________________________________________________

**Chang Mustafa is sitting in his locker room, lacing up his wrestling boots and preparing for his Tag Team title match with the Tides of Darkness. He stands up and stretches a little, and walks towards the door.**

Chang-Hey Joker! You almost ready?

**Chang waits for an answer, when suddenly the lights in the locker room go black.**

Chang-What the heezy?!?

**A scuffle can be heard in the darkness, but nothing can be seen. Out of the shadows, a scream is heard, followed by the sound of wood breaking. The lights come by on, and Chang is standing by the lightswitch, with a broken 2 x 4 in his hand. He looks down at the floor, where a cloaked figure is laying.**

Chang-HA! I finally caught you! Now let’s see who you are…

**Chang kneels down to the cloaked figure, and proceeds to take off the hood of the disguise. Chang’s face turns pale as he sees who it is. The camera pans around to see who Chang is looking at to reveal…Crazy Joker!!!**

Chang-No way! Joker, how could you? I thought we were a team…

**Chang waits for an answer from Crazy Joker before realizing that Crazy Joker is unconscious. He stands up, keeping his eyes on his former protector.**

Chang-Crap! Now what am I gonna do about my Tag Team title match! Aw man…this ain’t cool at all.

**Chang shakes his head in disbelief as he leaves the room, leaving Crazy Joker laid out on the floor.**

________________________________________________________________________

Fredericks-Whoa! Chang’s assassin has finally been revealed! It was Crazy Joker all along!

Erikson-Of course it was…

Fredericks-Oh let me guess, you knew that all along, right?

Erikson-Duh.

Fredericks-Then what was his motive?

Erikson-I’ll tell you after Crazy Joker explains himself…

Fredericks-That’s what I thought. Now poor Chang has to fight all by himself…this is gonna RULE!!!

MATCH 3. CHANG MUSTAFA VS. TIDES OF DARKNESS* (TAG TEAM TITLES)

Fredericks- As we saw earlier, it appears Crazy Joker will not be in this match for the tag team titles.

Erikson- Thank you Captain Obvious.

**The lights cut off as "Long Road out of Hell" By Marilyn Manson and the Sneaker Pimps blares. Kaltuul and Belthazar appear on the stage. The crowd boos loudly as they make their way down the rampway before sliding into the ring. The lights slowly flicker back on. The camera pans back to the commentators table to see a little mirror shining from the side, a hand pulls it back and Fredericks peers.**

Erikson- Coast clear?

Fredericks- All clear!

**The two men return to their seats as "Bodies" by Drowning Pool begins to play. The crowd goes nuts as Chang Mustafa walks onto the stage. He walks down the ramp and stands short of the ring, he turns and looks down the ramp. His music ends and he turns to face the ring again. The Tides of Darkness stare back at him, finally he dives into the ring as the two men begin to kick him back down to the mat!**

Erikson- Ring the bell! Ring the bell!

Fredericks- It’s two on one, give me a break!

The bell sounds as Kaltuul picks Chang up by the hair, he whips him into the ropes but Chang kicks Kaltuul in the face, and finishes Kaltuul with a clothesline! Belthazar rushes at Chang, but Chang ducks his clothesline and brings him down with a DDT! Kaltuul gets up and rushes at Chang, but Chang picks him up under the arms and Kaltuul gets his throat slammed onto the top rope!

Fredericks- Seems to be handling himself quite nicely.

Chang turns to receive a huge boot to the face from Belthazar!

Erikson- As you were saying?

Belthazar whips Chang into the ropes and picks him up, slamming him down with a spinebuster! Kaltuul shakes the cobwebs out of his head and climbs up the turnbuckle. Belthazar picks Chang up and drops him with a body slam. Kaltuul leaps off of the turnbuckle and lands an elbow on the downed Chang! He goes for the pin…………1……………2……………..Kickout! Kaltuul picks Chang up by the hair as Belthazar screams something at him, Kaltuul whips Chang into the turnbuckle as Belthazar runs off of the other ropes, Kaltuul runs off of the other side. Chang bounces back off the turnbuckle as Kaltuul grabs his head. Belthazar puts up his boot as Chang ducks and Kaltuul gets smoked by Belthazar’s foot!

Fredericks- Excelllllent…

Belthazar looks totally amazed as he just knocked out his partner, Chang comes up behind him and locks him in a full nelson, picking up the huge man, he slams him down onto the mat! Chang quickly goes for the cover…………1…………...2……………Kickout! Kaltuul begins to shuffle as Chang gets up. Chang runs at Kaltuul, but Kaltuul lifts Chang off of the ground into a powerslam! Kaltuul picks Chang back up and whips him into the nearby turnbuckle, he runs at him and nails him with a clothesline! Kaltuul grabs Chang by the head and runs him across the ring and into the other turnbuckle. Belthazar gets up and Kaltuul whips Chang into Belthazar’s awaiting arms, Belthazar lifts him off the mat and brings him down with a overhead belly to belly suplex! Belthazar goes for the pin………….1…………2……………Kickout! Belthazar gets back up and whips Chang into the ropes, and on the way back he does the belly to belly suplex again! But Chang lands on Kaltuul and holds onto him for a pin…………1…………….2…………….Belthazar kicks him off! Belthazar gives him a swift kick which hunches Chang over, he picks him up for a powerbomb, but Chang slips off and nails the rising Kaltuul with a superkick! He turns and right when he gets ready to plant another kick, Belthazar grabs his foot and pulls him into a clothesline!

Fredericks- He just keeps fighting it.

Erikson- Give up little man…

Kaltuul begins to move a bit, he rolls over, but falls out of the ring! Belthazar picks Chang up yet again, but Chang reverses it as Kaltuul reaches up! Kaltuul trips Belthazar up and he falls flat on the mat, landing on his nose! Kaltuul, unknowing to what he did, falls back on the floor as Chang runs over to Belthazar and repeatedly slams him face first onto the mat! Kaltuul gets up on his knee and peers over the edge as Chang picks up Belthazar and gives him THE BLADE’S END! (Full Nelson Driver) Chang goes for the pin………….1………………..2………….…Kaltuul slides in and breaks it up! Chang gets up and turns to be leveled by a clothesline from Kaltuul! Kaltuul whips Chang into the ropes and charges at him with a spear, but Chang jumps up and as Kaltuul slams into the post he drops down with a sunset flip…………..1………….…2……………Kickout!

Fredericks- That was so close, we could have a sole tag team champ.

Erikson- Don’t count on it.

Belthazar starts to wearily get up as Kaltuul to gets up, they both stand tall and tower over Chang. Chang attempts a forearm smash but it is caught by Belthazar, who kicks him in the stomach, dropping him down. Belthazar picks him up in a powerbomb maneuver, and slams him down as Kaltuul comes down with a Hangman’s Neckbreaker!

Erikson- Very nice!

Kaltuul goes for the cover…………1…………....2……………..…3!!!

Anna Lopez- Winners at 6:32, and still NMW Tag Team champions, The Tides of Darkness!

Fredericks-The Misfits are on a roll tonight.

Erikson-What kind of roll?

Fredericks-A wheat kaiser roll of course.

Erikson-Mmmmmm….wheat kaiser roll…..

________________________________________________________________________

**Silent Assassin is shown in the back, in a small dark room, watching some sort of monitor. Gravedigger can be seen wrestling Zack Macomber on the monitor. Silent Assassin sits in…well, silence…as he watches Gravedigger’s every move. Suddenly, there is a knock at the door. Silent Assassin pays no attention, as a homeless crew member sticks his head in the door.**

Crew Member-Uh, Silent Assassin, I’m supposed to let you know that your match is coming up soon.

Silent Assassin-

Crew Member-Um…ok…

**The door closes as Silent Assassin gets up and goes over to a backpack-type thing and begins digging through it. After searching for a moment, he finds a pair of modified brass knuckles. He looks at them, before sticking them in his pocket and going back to his seat.**

________________________________________________________________________

Erikson-What a loser…

Fredericks-A loser?

Erikson-That Silent Assassin guy…He doesn’t talk!

Fredericks-So?

Erikson-So that probably means he’s a child pornographer who eats chili dogs in his underwear every Friday night. I mean, hell…he’s got the dark room back there with the monitor. I bet he watches kiddie porn on that thing.

Fredericks-Your logic never ceases to amaze me.

MATCH 4. CLIFF VS. JASON MOORE* (NORTH AMERICAN TITLE)

**"Fear" by Disturbed kicks and Cliff comes out on the stage. He walks down the ramp with a cheering crowd behind him. He slides into the ring and awaits his opponent, North American Champion, Jason Moore.**

**"Confession" by Cold hits and a loud chorus of boos rips through the arena. Moore, still a little out of it after his encounter with Zack Macomber earlier, steps out onto the stage, followed by Maurice, Enrique, Pablo, Pedro, and Bob. Jason Moore hands the North American Title to his second in command, Pablo, and heads towards the ring and slides in.**

The bell rings and Cliff runs at Jason Moore but is knocked to the ground by a vicious clothesline. Moore goes to mount him but Cliff kicks him in the gut and jumps up and goes for a piledriver. Moore counters with a back body drop and gets Cliff hung up in the Tree of Woe.

Erikson- Not even a minute into the match and Cliff is already gonna lose.

Fredericks- Doesn’t look to good for Cliff.

Jason Moore runs to the opposite corner and charges, to hit a running baseball slide into Cliff’s face!! Moore returns to the opposite corner and charges again and leaps to hit an inverted Bronco Buster, but some how Cliff sits up and Moore slides through racking himself on the ring post and smashing his face into the turnbuckle!!!

Fredericks- OUCH!

Erikson- He’ll be speaking an octave higher.

Moore falls to the outside holding himself screaming in pain. Cliff, now sitting on the top rope, collects himself and jumps off and nails a guillotine leg drop! Cliff throws Moore back into the ring and Cliff begins to hobble up the stairs when Pablo drop kicks him in the back, sending Cliff’s face bouncing of the ring post. The largest of the Mexicans, Bob, lifts Cliff up and drives his back into the ring post. He then lifts him up by the throat and drops him with a Chokeslam Powerbomb!!! Cliff stumbles to his feet and is leveled when Maurice swings the North American Title like a baseball bat!

Erikson- OH MY GOD I’M IN HEAVEN!

Fredericks- God your sick.

Erikson- Thank you….

Fredericks- Man….**shaking his head**

Bob then lifts the limp Cliff up and rolls him into the ring. Moore, who is a little woozy, slowly rises to his feet. Moore, still holding himself, stumbles over to Cliff, who is now lying in a pool of his own blood. Jason Moore drops to his knees and then collapses over Cliff. The ref drops down and starts the count…………..1……..………2 ……………NO! Cliff gets his shoulder up.

Fredericks- HOLY SHIT! HOW DID CLIFF GET HIS SHOULDER UP?

Erikson- I think it was just a spasm.

Fredericks- If it was a spasm, then how is he sitting up?

Cliff slowly pulls himself up off the ground, his blood pouring from the massive gash on the side of his head. Cliff slowly moves towards Moore who is screaming at the ref. Jason Moore turns around and Cliff nails him with the Cliff Hanger (Super Sambo Suplex) out of nowhere!!!. Cliff rolls over obviously dragging now from excessive loss of blood. He pulls himself up and grabs Moore and lifts him up, preparing to hit Over the Edge (Sky High to X-Factor)…when all of a sudden, Enrique screams at Cliff, who sets Moore down. Moore collapse to the ground as Cliff turns to see Enrique holding the North American title belt. Cliff climbs the turnbuckle screaming at Enrique. Suddenly Cliff gasps for air when Jason Moore nails him with and upper cut low blow. Jason Moore climbs the ropes behind Cliff and signals to the crowd. Moore hooks Cliff’s arms and falls back, nailing the Confession (Top Rope Vertebreaker)!!!! Moore rolls over and drapes an arm over Cliff’s pale and bloody body. The ref drops down………….1………..……..2 …………..3!!!

Anna Lopez- Winner at 7:01, and still NMW North American champion, Jason Moore!!!

Fredericks- Thank God. Can we please get some help for Cliff?

Erikson- **Drool dripping from his mouth** Blood……. Mmmm……blood…

**EMT’s rush to the ring to attend to the battered and beaten Cliff.**

Fredericks- What could have been a great match, marred by blatant interference from those damn Mexicans. Dear God, cut to commerical.

________________________________________________________________________

**Mike Rathje is standing in front of some sort of camera, and he is holding up a can of Mountain Dew.**

Rathje-What am I supposed to say again?

**A man in a foldout chair with the word "Producer" on it looks up at Rathje.**

Producer-Come on Mike, we’ve been through this a million times already. All you have to say is "Do the Dew."

Rathje-Gotcha.

Producer-And…ACTION!

**Rathje holds up the Mountain Dew and smiles.**

Rathje-Do the…CLOWN!!!

Producer-CUT! What the hell is wrong with you Rathje? It’s a simple line! Geez…I could be working with Broadway talent…instead, I have wrestlers.

Rathje-No…look! Clown!

**The camera pans over behind the producer, where Buddy the Clown is juggline some sort of metal balls.**

Buddy the Clown-Hey there Mikey. I’ve heard you think you’re pretty funny. Well, if you really believe that, then face me next week on Revolution…if you have the BALLS!!!

**With that, Buddy stops juggling and chucks one of the metal balls, which strikes Rathje square in the nose!**

Rathje-F**K!!!

Buddy the Clown-Hehehe, see ya later.

**Buddy does a quick carwheel and runs off.**

Producer-So does this mean that our commercial shoot is over?

**Rathje gives an angry stare as the camera fades out.**

________________________________________________________________________

Erikson-Sweet Jesus, we can’t even have a normal commercial break without some kind of clowning around.

Fredericks-Good one.

MATCH 5. SILENT ASSASSIN VS. GRAVEDIGGER

**"Blackened" by Metallica hits, as Gravedigger makes his usual macabre entrance, dimmed lights and all. The crowd boos the Unholy One as he paces down the steel ramp and steps into the ring.**

Fredericks-Gravedigger looks especially scary tonight.

Erikson-But…that’s the way he always looks.

Fredericks-Precisely.

**The lights suddenly go from dimmed to completely out, as lightning begins to flash across the MilleniTron. A light mist begins emitting from the stage and the sound of rain can be heard pouring in the background. The words "You have been chosen" go scrolling across the video screen, as the crowd begins to cheer for Silent Assassin.**

Fredericks-Where is he?

**The lights come back on, and the stage is empty…because Silent Assassin is standing in the ring behind Gravedigger!**

Erikson-There he is!

The bell rings as Silent Assassin spins Gravedigger around, and begins going to town on him with rights and lefts. Silent Assassin whips Gravedigger off the ropes, and knocks him down with a knee to the gut. Gravedigger gets up, and Silent Assassin whips him into the turnbuckle. Gravedigger walks back towards Assassin, who slaps him with a knife-edge chop! The crowd lets out a loud "WOOO" in response. Silent Assassin whips Gravedigger into the ropes, but Gravedigger reverses the whip. Assassin springs off the ropes, and jumps onto Gravedigger’s shoulder, hitting a Hurricanrana and hanging on for a pin……..1……….Gravedigger kicks out.

Fredericks-Way too early.

Silent Assassin quickly pulls Gravedigger up and sends him off the ropes again. As Gravedigger bounces back, Assassin hops onto his shoulders once again…but this time Gravedigger drives him down with a vicious Powerbomb! Assassin lands hard on the mat, but gets to his feet fairly quickly. Gravedigger shoves him into the turnbuckle. Gravedigger charges in with a body avalanche, but Assassin rolls out of the way, sending the Unholy One crashing into the turnbuckle. Assassin quickly drops him down with a Reverse DDT and jumps to the top rope as Gravedigger gets to his feet. Assassin sails off the top rope, grabbing Gravedigger’s head on the way down, and spikes him with a DDT!!!

Fredericks-Holy crap! An amazing move from Silent Assassin!

Assassin quickly floats over and makes the cover……….1……….2……..Kickout! Silent Assassin, still moving quickly, jumps to the top turnbuckle once again.

Erikson-This guy sure is persistent.

Gravedigger slowly gets to his feet, as Silent Assassin leaps off the top rope again, hooking Gravedigger’s head on the way down…but this time Gravedigger remains standing, and Silent Assassin is hung out to dry. Gravedigger powerfully slams Assassin down with a modified Sidewalk Slam!

Fredericks-That’s twice now that Silent Assassin has tried the same move two times in a row and got burned.

Erikson-He seems to be good at scouting, but perhaps he needs to pay more attention to his own moves.

Gravedigger reaches his hand into the air, as the crowd begins booing. Silent Assassin gets to his feet, and walks right into Gravedigger’s hand, grasping him around the throat. Assassin quickly slams his foot into Gravedigger’s gut, breaking the hold. Assassin now hooks Gravedigger up for a suplex…but Gravedigger blocks it…and proceeds to lift Assassin straight into the…Last Descent (Screwdriver)!!! However, before Gravedigger can make the pin, Assassin rolls out of the ring.

Fredericks-VERY smart move there.

Gravedigger angrily jumps out of the ring, as he stalks Silent Assassin. Assassin rolls back into the ring and seems to be pulling something out of his pocket, as Gravedigger slides back into the ring. Gravedigger spins Assassin around, and sends him off the ropes. As Assassin bounces back, Gravedigger grabs him around the throat once again, preparing for the Embalmer (Chokeslam from Hell)!!! Gravedigger lifts Silent Assassin into the air…but Assassin punches Gravedigger in the face, immediately causing Gravedigger to fall, and release Assassin in the process. Assassin raises his arms in the air, receiving a cheer from the crowd…and revealing that he was wearing the brass knuckles!!! Gravedigger, dazed and now bleeding, gets to his feet, and stumbles into a Downward Spiral from Silent Assassin! Assassin covers Gravedigger……….1……………2………………..NO!!!

Fredericks-Holy crap! He kicked out!

Erikson-Holy crap!

Assassin pounds the mat in frustration as he stands up and pulls Gravedigger to his feet. He throws the Unholy One into the turnbuckle and climbs up onto the second rope. He then begins pounding on Gravedigger with the brass knuckles!!! After about a dozen shots, Assassin jumps down and Gravedigger falls to the mat. Silent Assassin covers him once again………..1………………2…………………….NO!!!! Gravedigger rolls a shoulder off the mat!

Erikson-His scariness is helping him win!

Silent Assassin now quickly slides out of the ring and grabs a chair from ringside. He slides back into the ring as Gravedigger gets up once again. Assassin raises the chair and brings it down on Gravedigger’s skull, but Gravedigger remains standing! Assassin hits him with another chair shot, and another, and another…but still Gravedigger doesn’t fall! Finally, Assassin drops the chair, and delivers another Downward Spiral, dropping Gravedigger face-first onto the steel. Assassin then gets up, instead of pinning, and begins stomping away on Gravedigger! Suddenly the MilleniTron comes to life.

Fredericks-What the hell?

**Commissioner Lawn Gnome appears on the MilleniTron, in what appears to be Seth Winter’s office. The camera is at a close-up on the gnome, when he begins to speak. Strangely, his voice sounds a lot like a high-pitches version of President Winter’s voice.**

Commissioner Lawn Gnome-Silent Assassin! If you do not stop attacking Gravedigger, I will have to suspend you! Brass knuckles are not standard issue in NMW, and I will not permit the use of them! Either pin the man now, or I will suspend you!

Silent Assassin shrugs as he drops and pins Gravedigger…………….1…………………2…………………….NO!!! Assassin is in disbelief as Gravedigger once again rolls a shoulder up. Immediately, he picks up the chair and begins beating on Gravedigger’s body once again.

Lawn Gnome-That’s it! I told you to stop beating on him! I hereby suspend you for 2 months!!! Now get your ass out of my ring!!!!

Erikson-How in the hell is that thing talking?

Fredericks-Funny…he sounds a lot like the President…but why is he telling Silent Assassin to stop attacking Gravedigger?

**Silent Assassin continues to beat on Gravedigger, as the MilleniTron fades. Suddenly, "Every Other Time" by LFO strikes up, and the crowd begins booing just because of the crappy music. A homeless crew member emerges onto the stage, and he is carrying…Commissioner Lawn Gnome! The homeless man carries the commissioner down to the ring and slides in. Silent Assassin pays no attention and continues to beat on Gravedigger.**

Fredericks-This is too weird…

**The homeless man waits for Silent Assassin to stop his assault, but he doesn’t. The homeless man then quickly proceeds to raise the commissioner into the air, and swings him across the back of Silent Assassin’s head! A loud crack is heard as Silent Assassin passes out and falls to the mat. The same high-pitches voice is then heard over the speaker.**

Lawn Gnome-I told you! You’re suspended you piece of crap!

**The homeless man then lifts the lawn gnome to his ear as if it is whispering something to him. He then places the gnome on top of Silent Assassin’s chest. The homeless man then says something to the referee, who drops and counts………….1……………..2…………………3!!! The homeless crew member then picks up the lawn gnome once again.**

Lawn Gnome-Winner of the match, ME! Now get this suspended loser out of here!

**Four more homeless crew members run down to the ring and lift up the unconscious Silent Assassin. The group of men, including the man holding the commissioner, then leave the ring, as Gravedigger slowly gets up, bloody and beaten.**

Erikson-Ok…

**Gravedigger then leaves the ring as the camera turns to the announce table, where both Tyler and Brian are sitting with confused looks on their faces.**

Fredericks-It seems as though we have a heel commissioner…

Erikson-No comment.

________________________________________________________________________

**The camera cuts to President Winter’s office, where Cliff is sitting, being attended to by medical staff. Seth Winters then walks into the room, looking very angry.**

Winters-Did you just see that??? Our damn commissioner just suspended Silent Assassin! I don’t believe this!!!

Cliff-Yeah, I saw it. But you know…the commissioner’s voice sounded a lot like yours.

Winters-What are you saying?

Cliff-I’m saying that even I know that lawn gnomes can’t talk. Someone must have been providing a voice for him.

Winters-You have got to be kidding me. Are you accusing ME of this?

Cliff-Well, not necessarily.

Winters-Good, because that little bastard is gonna pay for this! Just you wait. I’ll show who is truly running NMW, and it’s NOT our commissioner!

**Winters storms out of the room as Cliff looks at the medical person wrapping bandages around him.**

Cliff-He’s losing his mind…I know it. We’ve got to find a way to make him take a break, or he’s gonna be locked up in a looney bin.

**The medical staff member nods as the the camera fades from the room.**

________________________________________________________________________

Erikson-I can’t believe Cliff actually accused Winters of being the voice of our esteemed commissioner!

Fredericks-

Erikson-What?

Fredericks-It’s a lawn gnome for God’s sake.

Erikson-Correction. A very well-educated lawn gnome who could have possibly been a movie star because of his good looks. And if you’re watching, Commissioner Lawn Gnome, you are my hero.

Fredericks-

MATCH 6. THRESH CREST VS. MELVIN FROST* (WORLD TITLE)

**"Breathe" by Nickelback kicks on as the lights onstage begin blinking shades of red. Thresh Crest walks out, both hands raised in the air, with his middle finger protruding from each. He walks down the ramp and gets into the ring, keeping both arms raised as the crowd showers him with hatred.**

Fredericks-So much for family programming…

**Thresh waits in the ring, as "Full Nelson" by Limp Bizkit hits. Melvin Frost walks out, looking determined as ever. The crowd cheers him on, as he charges straight to the ring, with his NMW title belt over his shoulder. He jumps into the ring, and looks over at Thresh…before letting our a war cry and charging at the Crest brother!**

Erikson-Whoa! The nerd has snapped!

The bell rings as Melvin spears Thresh into the turnbuckle! Melvin hops up and delivers 10 punches as the crowd counts along with him. He hops down and begins hitting rights and lefts on Thresh, never skipping a beat. He then bends down and begins driving his shoulder into Thresh’s gut…once…twice…three times!

Fredericks-This is different. I guess seeing all of his possessions being torn apart really fired up Melvin.

Thresh holds his stomach in pain as Melvin takes off towards the other turnbuckle. He charges at Thresh full speed, but Thresh moves out of the way, and Melvin’s head hits the turnbuckle pad. He bounces off, and Thresh catches him in a Back Suplex. Melvin backflips out of it, and lands on his feet. He pushes Thresh off the ropes, and nails him with a high flipping dropkick! He drops and quickly covers Thresh…….1………kickout.

Erikson-You would think that a Trekkie would be smart enough to know that you can’t cover Thresh this early.

Fredericks-Apparently not.

Both men get up at the same time, as Melvin grabs Thresh’s arm and Irish whips him, which Thresh’s reverses and sends Frost springing off the ropes. Thresh swings a clothesline and misses, as Melvin now springs off the opposite ropes, and flies through the air, landing a Bulldog on Thresh! The crowd explodes with cheers as Melvin drives Thresh down with the move. Thresh quickly gets to his feet again, and Melvin nails him with a hard right hand. Thresh then fires back and connect with one of his own. Melvin hits another punch to Thresh’s face. Thresh retaliates by dropping to his knees, and uppercutting Melvin right in the groin, lifting him off the ground!!!

Fredericks-Aw come on…that’s a blatant low blow! Disqualify him!

Erikson-Actually, I think low blows are legal in NMW now…just ask our *cough* crazy *cough* President.

Thresh then stands up, and lifts Melvin straight into a Cradle Piledriver! Melvin’s head bounces off the canva hard as the crowd begins booing. Thresh continues his advantage as he yanks Melvin back to his feet. He sends Melvin bouncing off the ropes and knocks him down with a big clothesline! Thresh now begins climbing the turnbuckle, and when he gets to the top, he flips off the crowd. This give Melvin time to scurry up the turnbuckle, and punch Thresh in the stomach, while he is still standing on the top rope. Melvin now climbs the top rope, and the two begins a slugfest while straddling the top rope. Thresh loses his balance and begins falling, but he grabs Melvin’s arm on his way down!

Erikson-DUCK AND COVER!

Both men come crashing down through the announce table as Fredericks and Erikson run out of the way just in time. Both Thresh and Melvin lay motionless among the wreckage as the referee begins to count them out of the ring…………1…………..2……………3…………Melvin starts to get to his feet, followed closely behind by Thresh…………….4………………5…………….Melvin rolls back into the ring as Thresh finally gets to his feet……………6…………..Thresh grabs one of the small monitors from the broken announce table and slides back into the ring as well. Thresh swings the monitor at Melvin, who ducks it.

Fredericks-Thresh is gonna get himself disqualified!

Melvin kicks Thresh in the gut, causing him to drop the monitor. Thresh quickly recovers and lands a huge haymaker straight to the injured jaw of Melvin! Melvin howls in pain as he stumbles back into the turnbuckle, holding his jaw. Thresh charges at Melvin and lands a Monkey Flip, sending Frost sprawling to the canvas. Thresh now climbs the rope again, as Melvin slowly gets up, still holding his jaw. Thresh launches himself off the turnbuckle and nails a flying clothesline, on Melvin, who falls back and lands on his neck!

Erikson-Where’s Weird Al? Melvin is folded up like an accordion.

Thresh quickly covers the downed Melvin…………1……………….2………………NO! Thresh screams in anger as he pulls Melvin up by his hair. He hooks Melvin up for the Riot Act (STO 2), but Melvin elbows Crest in the head, causing him to release his grip. Thresh quickly counters with a knee to the groin, and follows up with a Gutwrench Powerbomb! Melvin bounces off the mat after the impact, and doesn’t move. Thresh sees the monitor lying on the mat, and sits it on Melvin’s chest.

Fredericks-What is he doing with out monitor?

Thresh hops up onto the turnbuckle, keeping his back to Melvin. Thresh quickly springs himself off the top rope, flipping backwards into the Entropy (Rios Backflip Splash)!!!! However, Melvin rolls out of the way, leaving the monitor behind…and Thresh lands stomach-first right onto it! Thresh groans in pain as he gets back to his feet, holding his mid-section…and staggers right into the Study Hall (Full Nelson Driver)!!!!!!!!!! The crowd erupts as Melvin hits his finisher, and falls to the mat.

Fredericks-Come on Melvin, just put an arm on him!

Both men lay on the mat for a moment, before Frost begins crawling over to Thresh…and he drapes his arm over Crest’s chest………………1…………………2…………………….3!!! The referee calls for the bell!

Fredericks-Yes!!!

Erikson-Wait a minute…

**Melvin gets up and begins celebrating, while Thresh slowly gets up and begins screaming at the referee. After a moment, the referee leaves the ring and looks at a monitor at ringside. He then says something to ring announcer Anna Lopez before sliding back into the ring.**

Anna Lopez-The referee has seen that Thresh Crest’s foot was on the ropes before the 3 count, and the match will continue!

Fredericks-Son of a Bitch!

Erikson-Hehehe.

Melvin is quickly brought back to reality as Thresh attacks him from behind. Thresh begins pounding Melvin into submission in the corner, before flipping off the crowd once again. Melvin now drops to his hands and knees, and crawls between the legs of Thresh. Melvin grabs the monitor that is lying on the mat, and throws it at Thresh, who catches it as he turns around, and smiles.

Fredericks-Uh oh…

Melvin quickly gets to his feet, and rolls out of the way as Thresh swings the monitor at him. Thresh raises the monitor in the air…but the referee pulls it out of his hands! Thresh turns around and begins arguing, when Melvin comes up from behind him…and hits the Melvinator (Dragon Suplex)!!!!! Melvin bridges as the referee drops the monitor and counts…………….1………………….2……………………NO!! Thresh kicks out! Melvin, scared and in disbelief, quickly gets to his feet, and waits for Thresh to get up. But while Thresh is getting up, he grabs the monitor, and hides it from Melvin. Frost comes charging at Crest with a spear…but Thresh swings the monitor straight into Melvin’s jaw!!!!!!! Melvin slams down onto the canvas, unconscious, as the bell sounds.

Anna Lopez-Winner by Disqualification at 8:35, and still NMW World champion, Melvin Frost!

**Thresh pays no attention to the fact that he lost the match, as he knocks out the referee with a superkick! He then turns his attention back to Melvin, who is trying to pull himself up by the ropes. Crest grabs him around the throat, and locks in the Riot Act (STO 2)!!! He kicks his leg up, and drives Melvin down….right onto the monitor!!!! Melvin’s back arches as he lands on the corner of the small box, and he yelps in utter anguish! Melvin grins evilly as he begins stomping on Melvin. Suddenly, "Boiler" by Limp Bizkit hits!**

Fredericks-Good! Here come the reinforcements.

**The Knife comes running down to the ring, and meets Thresh. The two begins throwing punches at each other, before Crest locks on the Riot Act (STO 2) on Knife! Knife blocks it with a knee to the gut, and whips Thresh off the ropes, as Melvin rolls out of the way. Thresh runs back at Knife, who kicks him in the gut, and hits the Cutter (Stone Cold Stunner)!!!! Thresh falls to the mat, and Knife helps Melvin to his feet. Melvin is handed the World title belt from ringside, and he raises his arms in the air, as the crowd cheers! Thresh tries to sneak up from behind him, but Knife stomps Thresh in the face…and suddenly the Misfits come running down the ramp, the Tides of Darkness, followed by Morbid Angel and Aikeiro! They slide into the ring as Melvin Frost and the Knife slide out the other side and retreat up the ramp!**

Erikson-They’ve come to help Thresh!

Fredericks-But I didn’t think he wanted their help!

**Knife and Melvin stand up on stage and watch as the Tides of Darkness help Thresh to his feet. Morbid Angel walks over to Thresh to make sure he’s alright, when Thresh quickly hits Angel with the Riot Act (STO 2)!!!!! The rest of the Misfits look stunned as Thresh quickly leaves the ring. Thresh marches up the ramp, looking back and forth between Melvin and Knife, and the Misfits.**

Fredericks-We’re out of time for this week foks! Tune in next Saturday!

**The camera fades, as Melvin and Knife celebrate on the stage, and Thresh watches in disgust at both them and the Misfits in the ring.**

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