**The NMW Arena is shown from the outside, as the streets of downtown St. Louis don't appear to be as busy as they usually are. The camera pans up to the large neon sign beside the building, and the words "NMW Saturday Night Revolution: Canceled" go scrolling across it in bright red letters. The view then cuts to the inside of the arena, where every single seat is empty. The camera pans around the hollowed out building, not picking up the usual signs that the crowd holds up. "Violent Reaction" by American Head Charge doesn't hit, and all remains quiet, as the camera pans down to the ring. There, in the center of the squared circle, is a podium. Behind that podium is none other then President of the NMW, Seth Winters. And surrounding the ring are several dozen chairs, each filled with the body of every roster member, excluding Thresh Crest and Gravedigger, of New Millenium Wrestling, including the commentators and referees, not to mention ring announcer Anna Lopez. The camera pans back up to Winters, who stands behind the podium with a very solemn expression on his face.**
Winters-
Guys, we have a problem. A BIG problem. Last Saturday on Revolution, Zack Macomber stole the NMW title from us. A week after winning the title, he announced his departure to UAW, our rival federation…and he took OUR title with him. And honestly…I don't know what to do. I had to cancel Revolution as you all know, because I was just too devastated to run the show. That title symbolizes the greatness that is the essence of NMW, and it was maliciously taken from us. The top prize in this company was blatantly stolen.**Several of the NMW superstars shift in their seats uncomfortably, as Winters continues his solemn speech.**
Winters-
I'll be blunt with you guys, because there's no use in holding back information now. I seriously am considering closing down NMW again. I just don't know if there's any way that we can get our title back, let alone our pride. I declared war on two larger organizations, and I was made to look like a fool. WE were made to look like fools. NMW as a company was made to look like a fool. After that kind of bad publicity, I'm unsure of whether or not our federation can survive. That's why I asked you guys to come here today. You men and women are the heart of this company, not me. In essence, it's up to you people whether or not NMW remains up and running. So I guess…if anyone has a plan or something to say, I invite you to take the podium…because I am just out of ideas…**With that, Winters slowly and sadly steps away from the podium and walks over to lean in one of the turnbuckles. He waits for someone to step up, but all of the superstars remain sitting. After a moment, one of the men stands up out of his chair, and climbs up onto the apron. He steps through the ropes, approaches Winters, and salutes the President. That man then walks over behind the podium, and clears his throat. That man is…"The Skankin' Punkabilly" Tony Monroe. His personal cameraman Bob bumbles into the ring behind him and focuses the camera on Tony.**
Monroe-
For the love of Bob, are you guys just gonna give up this easily? The war hasn't even started, and we've already lost. Everything NMW stands for…cardboard boxes, croutons, lawn gnomes, salmons, and above all else, good times…All of that must mean nothing to you losers. Quite frankly, it makes Bob and I sick. Right Bob?**The cameraman nods.**
Monroe-
See? You've all upset Bob. But when Bob gets upset, you know what he does? He sure as hell doesn't quit. NO. He goes out and pushes his way through the world, to the closest Taco Bell, and he eats a burrito supreme. Well, Bob may be a fat, lazy bastard, but NMW could learn a lot from Bob. NMW needs to go to Taco Bell and eat a burrito supreme…and that burrito's name is UAW! And then NMW needs to wash it down with a little bit of Slaughterhouse Cola. After that, NMW needs to trudge its ass back home, sit down on the crapper, and poop out both UAW and the Slaughterhouse!**A few obscure claps can be heard coming from around the ring after Tony's analogy.**
Monroe-
NMW needs to be like that dollar that just keeps on coming back. No matter what you do, you can't get rid of that friggin' dollar. You can give it to a skanky old lady at a gas station, you can try to give it to Platypus in exchange for a salmon, and hell, you can even give it to a homeless person, no offense Charlie…**One of the homeless crew members nod.**
Charlie-
None taken.Monroe-
But no matter what you do to that dollar, it keeps coming back at ya, taunting you, rubbing it in your face. That f--king dollar bill, screaming at you like some little hungry Ethiopian kid…Making fun of you like the bully that hung you upside down by your ankles in fifth grade…That f--king dollar…THAT F--KING DOLLAR!**Tony screams his last sentence as he reaches in his pocket and pulls out the dollar bill. He throws it onto the mat and begins stomping on it, as Bob the cameraman follows his every move. After a bit, Bob gets tired of filming Tony's tantrum, so he pulls out a Snickers bar and eat it in one bite. Bob smiles with chocolate on his face, as Tony continues to jump up and down on the dollar bill. After a moment, Tony stops, looks up, and notices a look of fright and confusion on every NMW star's face. Tony grins nervously and steps back up to the podium.**
Monroe-
Um…where was I?Winters
(whispering)-The dollar…Monroe-
OH YEAH! Uh…NMW needs to be like that dollar, and just keep on pestering our rivals like a divorced mosquito, a disgruntled gnat, or a Spanish fly. It's up to you guys…So who's with me?**A few quiet chatters in agreement are heard from the group of stars. Tony looks around annoyed, then peers over at Bob.**
Monroe-
Okay…Well then who's with Bob?**The NMW superstars erupt into cheers, throwing their hands in the air and whistling. Winters, still standing over in the corner, grins and steps towards Tony. Monroe smiles and shakes hands with Winters, then goes to take his seat back at ringside, with Bob following him. Winters steps back up to the podium.**
Winters-
Thank you ever so much Tony for that stirring speech. The way it sounds, you guys still want to fight. Well in that case, we shall fight! We'll end this meeting for now, but I want to see you all back in the conference room in about an hour. You're free to go to your locker rooms and start planning or whatever. I'm gonna go get some paperwork done and plan the first attack. I'll be around to talk to a few of you and get some stuff straightened out, but remember, I want to see all of you in an hour, in the banquet hall. Then we'll go over some more information, because I know a lot of you have some special reports that you need to run by everyone. So I'll see you all in an hour!**Winters steps down from the podium and leaves the ring, as all of the superstars get up from their chairs. The large group of men march up the ramp, and head back to their various locker rooms.**
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**Outside the NMW Arena, a figure can be seen walking closer and closer to the front door. A built man steps out of the shadows, but the camera isn't able to make out his face. The man steps up onto the sidewalk after crossing the street, then stops in front of the large building. The camera pans up to show the large NMW Arena, as if it were looking from the view of the unknown man. After showing the building, the camera pans around in a 180 to show the man's face. It is revealed to be none other then the former NMW Champion…Thresh Crest! Thresh is looking up blankly at the arena, before he walks forward and enters the door. The camera then fades out.**
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**Triple J, Great Kuda, and Morbid Angel are all sitting in the coffee lounge inside the NMW building. Triple J is reading through the latest edition of Playgirl, Kuda is nervously sipping a cup of coffee, and Morbid Angel is sitting by himself over in the corner, fiddling with a Rubix Cube. As all three men are lounging, NMW's roving reporter, Frank Williams, steps onto the scene. He looks around at the three men, then steps over to the middle of the lounge, holding a piece of paper in his hand.**
Williams-
Triple J, Great Kuda, and Morbid Angel…**All three men look up at Williams.**
Williams-
I have in my hand an official document from President Winters, addressed to the three of you. Allow me now to read it for you.**The three men nod, and Williams unfolds the paper.**
Williams-
"Triple J, Great Kuda, and Morbid Angel…It is my great pleasure to inform the three of you that you have been chosen to partake in possibly the most important event in your lives. As you well know, NMW is involved in an ongoing war with the MOW Slaughterhouse and the UAW. Without a doubt, NMW needs each and every one of its members to step up and help out. You three are no exception. You have been chosen as NMW's 'Front Line'. This is no laughing matter. You three will be the first line of defense against all UAW or MOW invaders. You have been dubbed 'Operation Human Shield' and your mission is to prevent any and all invaders from reaching the more important…er, other superstars. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter, and the fans of NMW will surely appreciate your collective sacrifices. Peace out."**Williams folds up the letter and sticks it in his pocket, as he walks off. The other three men look at each other, shrug, and go back to their other activities. The scene fades.**
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**Seth Winters is sitting in his office, writing on some papers. Every once in a while, he glances up at a monitor, which flashes with scenes of several of the star's locker rooms, along with sections of the building.**
Winters-
Ah, all is well…No invaders to be seen.**Winters goes back to writing on his documents, when suddenly his office door is thrown open! Winters drops his pen and looks up, shocked that anyone could have made it inside without him knowing. A large man walks into the room…Gravedigger! The Unholy One slowly walks over to Winter's desk. After realizing who it is, Winter's doesn't seem as surprised.**
Winters-
Gravedigger…I-I-I'm glad you could m-m-make it. I see you got my invitation. Please, have a s-s-seat.**Gravedigger doesn't move, and doesn't take a seat. Instead, he stands and stares down at Winters. Winters shudders a bit, and gets up out of his seat.**
Winters-
Gravedigger, I'm truly sorry for what happened last week. I and the other guys made a horrendous mistake, and we should have trusted you. You've got to understand…we were paranoid after I heard that someone was going to leave NMW that night. I never would have thought it to be Zack, and I know that you and I haven't exactly had the best past, so I just figured…**Gravedigger slams his fist onto Winter's desk, nearly sending a crack splitting through the middle of it. Winter's gulps, then composes himself.**
Winters-
Gravedigger, I can understand if you don't want to help us in the war now, but to be honest, we NEED you. You're one of the best guys I have, and I would be honored if you helped us in this war. What do you say? Shake on it?**Winters reluctantly reaches out his hand, and waits. Gravedigger doesn't move.**
Winters-
Um…No?**Gravedigger stands there, staring at Winters for a moment, before he slowly raises his hand. He grabs the hand of Winters and shakes, causing a smile to come over Winter's face. Then, without warning, Gravedigger yanks Winter's arm, pulling him over his desk. Gravedigger bends down and gets face to face with Winter's, who is now shaking.**
Gravedigger-
I'm in…But if you cross me one more time…Consider yourself a corpse…**Gravedigger lets go of Winter's hand, turns, and leaves the room. Winter slowly slides himself off of his desk, and plops back down into his seat. He looks around at his paperwork, which is scattered everywhere.**
Winters-
Well, time to go talk to the guys…**The camera fades.**
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**Mr. Platypus is in his locker room, standing in front of a long brown table. The camera pans down to show a large plate with the salmon lying on it. Platypus has a very grave look on his face, as he glances between the camera and the salmon.**
Mr. Platypus-
I've only been here for a little while now, but I just want everyone to know that I am behind NMW 117 percent. President Winters has been a role model for me, and I have adopted his oath of peace…Cheeseburger. However, in this time of war, there is no room for peace or cheeseburgers. I want all of NMW's fans to know that I am willing to do anything to help the side of NMW. I'll fight, defend, or even make necessary sacrifices…**Platypus reaches behind his back and pulls out a plastic whiffle ball bat. The camera then pans down to show the salmon again.**
Mr. Platypus-
Salmon, you have been my friend for a solid month now. But there is no room for your treacherous kind in this war. I know how salmon think…Sure, you're all friendly and bubbly in times of peace, but as soon as bad times float along, you'll stab your friends in the back, and slap them with your deceitful fins. Salmon, I can't run that risk. Therefore, you must die…**Mr. Platypus raises the yellow plastic bat above his head, and slams it down on the pink fish. Fish goo splatters all over the room, and Platypus shields his face.**
Mr. Platypus-
You have been made a sacrifice, Salmon. I am sorry I couldn't trust you, but in time of war, you can't trust anyone.**A tear runs down Platypus's face, as the salmon lies there and doesn't move. Platypus once again raises the bat and smacks it down onto the slippery salmon.**
Mr Platypus-
Salmon…I hardly knew ye…**The scene fades as Platypus hangs his head in sorrow.**
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**The camera focuses on Buddy and Aikeiro as they sit at their tables. Suddenly, Seth bursts through the door and begins to speak to them.**
Winters-
Hello boys, I’ve been going around and talking to some of the roster on what they think about this whole war. So… what do you guys think?**Buddy and Aikeiro take off their red noses and set them on the table. Afterwards Buddy stands up.**
Buddy-
What do I think? Seth, I’ll tell you what I think. UAW and MOW Slaughterhouse don’t know what they are getting themselves into. Or what we are forcing onto them. Someday they’ll see, sadly it will be too late for them.Aikeiro-
Yeah!Winters-
Wel…Buddy-
And then, when all of the dust settles, NMW will reign supreme over all of the federations in this land. Just think of it, NMW feeder feds all over the place, simply because they couldn’t keep up with us.Aikeiro-
Yeah!Winters-
That sounds great guys, I’m glad you are really pumped for this. It’s because of this I planned to make you one of the head ranks that will "command" wrestlers of my choosing.**Buddy and Aikeiro look at each other.**
Buddy-
I’m sorry sir, but I’ll have to decline. You see, Aikeiro and I have already started our own army.**Seth grows a huge smile on his face.**
Winters-
Oh really?Buddy-
Yup, the Green Leaves.**Seth’s smile turns to somewhat of a frown.**
Winters-
The what?Buddy-
The Green Leaves. Step back sir, I’ll let them meet you. FALL IN!**Suddenly, three bags of croutons fall from the ceiling and land on the floor with a thud. Croutons spill out of the bags and litter the floor as Seth jumps to the side to dodge the salad toppers.**
Winters-
Buddy… can I talk to you?Buddy-
Yes sir, AT EASE!**Winters whispers to Buddy.**
Winters-
You do realize that in each of the matches that the crouton has been in, he has won by only coincidences… right?Buddy-
No they didn’t…It was pure…**Buddy looks into the camera.**
Buddy-
I mean… yes Seth, whatever you say.**Buddy nudges Seth with his elbow. Seth gets ready to say something, but merely looks down, turns and walks out the door, shutting it behind him.**
Winters-
You know… sometimes I realize that if they weren’t members of NMW, they could be considered crazy…**The camera fades out.**
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**The camera fades in to the Moorio Bros. locker room where you can see Moorio and his brother, Spikigi, playing video games. Closer inspection shows them playing N64’s Super Smash Brothers.**
Moorio-
You know, this whole thing with MOW Slaughterhouse and UAW is really bringing our federation together. Earlier I saw Knife, and he just simply said, "Sup?" which was much different than I had expected.Spikigi-
Definitely. And when this is done I’ll get to get my revenge on UAW, for the shitty matches and shitty angles that they had given me.**On the game, Metroid picks up one of the Snow Kids, leaps in the air and slams them on their neck, then he leaps into the air and lands a leg drop right on the little guy.**
Moorio-
Holy shit, that move looked so familiar! It looked just like the Confession!Spikigi-
Yeah it did, speaking of which that gives me an idea so that we can make it a tag team finisher now!Moorio-
Every tag team has a finisher, so I’m glad you brought that up. What did you have in mind?Spikigi-
Well, I think that we could take your vertebreaker, and I could leap off another turnbuckle, landing a leg drop onto the guys neck that you slammed down on the mat!Moorio-
That’s killer man.Spikigi-
I know, it’s just coming up with a name for it that I have a problem with.**Both of the Moorio Bros. put down their controllers and begin to think of a name for their newfound wonderful move.**
Moorio-
Well… how does DeMoorilization sound?Spikigi-
It sounds like we need to think some more. What do you think of Painful Moorilization?Moorio-
Sounds like you’ve been hanging out with Triple J too much…Spikigi-
Well then let’s keep thinking…**The camera cuts in and out, a little "Five minutes later" box shows up on the bottom of the screen. Moorio looks off into the room and sees a bottle of medicine.**
Moorio-
I GOT IT! We can call it the Moorgue!Spikigi-
Dude you can’t do that…Moorio-
Why not?Spikigi-
It’s a wrestling rule… You can’t have a tag team name or name of the move with only one syllable. It just doesn’t work.Moorio-
Oh yeah? Then what do you propose?Spikigi-
Umm… hmm… The Moortuary! Yeah! That’s it!Moorio-
Dude that’s so ga…**Spikigi leaps out of his seat and grabs Moorio by the collar bringing him nose to nose with himself.**
Spikigi-
LOOK YOU RED-WEARING LITTLE FREAK! I HAVE THE NAME SPIKIGI, WHICH REPRESENTS LUIGI! YOU CAN AFFORD TO HAVE A FINISHER CALLED THE MOORTUARY!**Spikigi lets Moorio go and he sits back in his seat. Moorio keeps his look of fear on his face.**
Moorio-
Fine… keep Moortuary…**mutters** Wacko…Spikigi-
I heard that…**The camera fades out.**
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**The camera opens to show a cardboard box sitting in a field. Little butterflies slowly flutter around it’s hinges, and one even sits on it for a bit as a voice begins to speak.**
Voice-
Its beautiful structure. Its cardboard plated cover. Its delicate, yet frightening edges. Its peaceful nature…**The boxes lid slowly opens up… and voices can be heard.**
Voices-
OH MY GOD!!! AHHHHH!!!! GET IT OFF ME!!! MY LEG, OW MY LEG!!! LET GO OF MY ARM!!!**The lids are slammed shut.**
Voice-
Welcome to NMW.**The camera fades out as the box leaps up into the air, opens its lid and grabs one of the butterflies, shutting and capturing the harmless little creature.**
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**The camera opens back up inside of a banquet room with the NMW roster sitting around one of the horseshoe tables. The door opens and Chang Mustafa steps through it with a stick in his hand.**
Chang-
Greetings troops, I am the Master General Chang Mustafa. I have called you all here to address troop formations and plans that I have to attack and rid us of UAW. But first I’d like Knife, who was sent to UAW, to come up and deliver to us a report of what is going on there. Knife, step up.**Knife gets up from his seat and walks up to Chang, salutes and stands next to him.**
Knife-
The UAW roster is in chaos after it’s last pay per view, Aftermath 2002. There are some stars who are going headlong at each other for titles, and others who are just in the battles just to be in them. Tim Lawson, their drunken champion, has published a book out of boredom though, simply because he can’t keep his mind focused on UAW matters. So I believe that we here at NMW have taken our toll in their psyche. I have brought with me, blueprints of the UAW arena, along with pictures of places around the arena.**Knife puts some of the pictures through the overhead projector. One of them comes up to be Rymiel locking up his office, Tim Lawson taking a drink of his beloved alcohol, and one of Christina Hallows stark ass naked. The men of the roster all start hooting and hollaring over their favorite UAW "star". Knife blushes but keeps the projector on the image as he keeps talking, constantly looking back at the picture while rambling.**
Knife-
And… **takes a look** I firmly… er… whole-heartedly agree that even though it may be hard… er… difficult… to making progress at killing UAW. I believe that if we sneak up the underbelly…er… rear entrance… er… when they aren’t paying attention. We could really get them up the ass. I mean… kick their ass.**Knife bows his head and walks off, knowing he has really messed that one up. Chang walks back to center of the room.**
Chang-
Here’s the plan…**Chang walks up to the blackboard and pulls down on a string, revealing a poster with the outside of the UAW arena. He has 3 markings of stick figures on it and he points to them all with his stick.**
Chang-
You see here we have a figure. This person is YOU!**Chang points to Knife, who sits back a bit, surprised.**
Chang-
You are going to dress like an old woman and walk outside the arena, catching the security guards and other people’s attention. I’m sure you can do that.**Chang points at the other two figures.**
Chang-
This right here is you and you!**Chang points at Buddy and a crouton that is sitting there.**
Chang-
Buddy and Crouton, you will be a mother taking her baby out for a stroller ride. Buddy, we have found a baby suit that will fit you and are actually quite happy that we’ll get to stuff you into a carriage.**Aikeiro coughs and stands up.**
Aikeiro-
But… wouldn’t it make more sense to have it the other way around?**Chang smiles and walks up to Aikeiro’s seat. He slams his fists down on the table.**
Chang-
WHO IS THE MASTER GENERAL!? I AM! I OWN THIS SHIT! THIS WHOLE WAR ON UAW IS MY DEPARTMENT! NOT YOURS! DO AS I TELL YOU!**Chang spins around and walks back to his place.**
Chang-
Any other comments?**The wrestlers that are awake stay quiet.**
Chang-
I didn’t think so. Alright, onto the Game Plan.**Chang pulls the next poster down, revealing 4 concentric squares, all colored different colors by what looks to be a preschool teacher’s worst nightmare. Chang smiles proudly as he turns around, revealing the "By: Chang" in the lower corner.**
Chang-
Here’s the floor plan of the UAW Arena. Here’s what we are going to do. You Aikeiro, since you like to volunteer yourself, and because you are Korean, you will hide in the duct system of the arena. You’re job is to just walk around in the pipes in this sector, distracting the people inside the arena.**Chang points to the outer sector of the squares.**
Chang-
When I tell you to move along, you move into the next sector, and so on and so forth. Finally I’ll have Grandma Knife start to fake a heart attack, which will make guards rush out to attend to the poor woman. During this time, Aikeiro will be in the 4th sector right above Rymiel’s office. I want you to lower yourself in using cables and snatch the UAW superstar contracts. Got it?**Aikeiro and Insane Joker nod.**
Chang-
Then, while this is going on, Buddy and the Crouton will "stroll" into the building and plant plastique explosive croutons all over the UAW arena. That should take out our enemy!**The stars in the room start to cheer madly for their game plan.**
Chang-
I knew you all would like it. Afterwards we can ju…**Suddenly, Seth Winters bursts through the doorway.**
Winters-
Chang, we’ve got a problem. You remember the plastique croutons we ordered to plant all over the UAW arena?Chang-
Yes sir, I just finished telling them about it.Winters-
Yeah well… the person who took the order misheard you, they sent us 2,000 plastic croutons!Chang-
Oh shit…Winters-
Yes, so scratch that last plan, you need to make a new one. All you guys stay here for a second, I need to go round up a few more people who are missing.**With that Seth turns and walks out the door. The camera fades.**
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Check it out!
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**The camera fades back in, inside the locker room of the Jokers, who were not present at the meeting moments ago. They are sitting, doing nothing. Just then, President Winters bursts in through the door, huffing and puffing as if he had just finished a workout.**
Winters-
Hello boys, glad to see you both still here.Insane Joker-
Why wouldn’t we?Crazy Joker-
Yeah, we don’t jump ship.Winters-
That’s not what I meant… oh well, anyway… I visited Buddy and Aikeiro earlier tonight and talked to them about commanding their own regiment of wrestlers. Which they declined because they found other "army".Insane-
That doesn’t sound good boss…Crazy-
Yeah, well, I tell you what Seth, we’ll gladly take over the duties in this little regiment. Let us command it!Winters-
Wow, I’m glad you guys would love to step up. But instead I have come up with a better idea. Buddy and Aikeiro are commanding croutons as their army. Wouldn’t it just psyche out the enemy to see two rather large croutons…?**The Jokers both look at each other then back to Seth.**
Crazy-
I don’t think we are following you…Winters-
I propose that you both dress up like two croutons.**The mere word crouton makes Crazy Joker flinch.**
Winters-
Then when the UAW wrestlers start stomping away on the littler ones, you two appear, catch them off guard, and pummel them within an inch of their life. I know it sounds far fetched… but christ’s sake, Chang was going to dress you up like a woman Insane…Insane-
Yeah… I know… and I understand where you are coming from. It’s a great plan… but there is something about croutons… It’s just not us…Winters-
Well, if you won’t do this, what can you both contribute to this war?**The Jokers both stare at each other for a moment, then to Winters.**
Crazy-
Well… we can… uhh… Sing?Winters-
I’ll get you your suits…**Both Jokers bow their heads.**
Jokers at the same time-
Damn…**Seth turns and walks out the door, the camera fades out.**
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**The camera now opens up, inside a different locker room. Tank is sitting, holding a remote and flipping through TV stations. Suddenly, the TV is blocked out by the figure of a beautiful woman, who just happens to be wearing next to nothing. That woman is Desyre, and Tank suddenly drops the remote. Desyre walks a little bit closer to the large Tank, then sits on his lap.**
Desyre-
You remember a few weeks ago when I told you that I had a friend that I wanted to introduce you to?Tank-
Of course.Desyre-
Well, you know why I asked you to skip the meeting?Tank-
Um…So I could watch the Olympics?Desyre-
*Sigh* NO…So you could meet my friend.**Desyre gets up off of Tank's lap, and disappears off to the other side of the room. Tank goes back to flipping channels, when suddenly a bare female's leg is draped over the couch next to him. He turns his head, and his jaw drops. He looks up to see another gorgeous female, also barely wearing any clothing. Desyre then walks back over and sits on his lap once again, as the other woman slides over the top of the couch and sits next to Tank.**
Desyre-
Meet Kandi.Tank-
Hi K-K-Kandi…Kandi-
Hello Tank…Desyre has told me soo much about you. My, you're big in person.**Tank grins as he looks back and forth between both women. Just then, the door swings open as once again, an exasperated Seth Winters steps into the room. He seems not to notice the two scantily clad women as he goes off on Tank for not being at the meeting.**
Winters-
Tank! I need you in the conference room ASAP! Everyone else is there for an important meeting because we're at war, and if you don't show, I'll consider you a spy. So follow me, I've got the Jokers right behind me, and we've all gotta head back to the meeting to wrap things up. Now let's go!**Winters turns and takes off out the door, as Tank and the two women stand up. Suddenly, Winter bolts back inside the room, staring at the new girl.**
Winters-
Um…Tank…Who is this?Tank-
This is Kandi, a friend of Desyre's.Winters-
Kandi, eh? Well, I've always loved candy…The way it melts in your mouth and not in your hand…Tank-
Uh…That's M & M's…sir.Winters-
M & M's ARE CANDY AREN'T THEY? DON'T PATRONIZE ME WHILE I'M TALKING TO A GORGEOUS WOMAN! NOW GET TO THE MEETING WHILE I TEACH KANDI SOME WRESTLING MOVES SO SHE CAN…UH…wrestle.**Winters smiles as he looks over at Kandi, who giggles. Tank gets up and leaves the room, Desyre following close behind. Winters walks over to Kandi.**
Winters-
So…Been involved in the wrestling business for very long?Kandi-
Oh no, I'm not a wreslter…I'm just here as moral support.Winters-
Boy, I sure could use some oral support.Kandi-
Uh, I said 'moral' support.Winters-
And I said 'oral'…Now give me head dammit!**Kandi raises her hand back and slaps Winters hard across the face. She storms out of the room and follows Tank and Desyre. Winter's holds his hand to his face, as he slowly heads out the door.**
Winters-
I suck.**The scene fades.**
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**Back inside the conference room/banquet hall, the NMW superstars are getting restless, and paper footballs are flying through the air. Chang is trying to calm everybody down, until he is pants by Aikeiro. Chang tries to fight back, but he trips over his own pants. Tony Monroe is seen cracking up, when the doors in the back open. President Winters, with a red face, marches into the room, with Tank, Desyre, Kandi, and the Jokers close behind him. Winters steps back up to the front of the room, and starts banging on the podium.**
Winters-
Attention! We are now ready to continue the meeting. Everyone is here…for the most part, so we'll start. We've already heard the UAW report from Knife, so now we'll turn to the other side of things, and get the MOW Slaughterhouse report from Cliff, who helped me over in the SH a couple weeks ago. Cliff, take the podium if you will.**Winters steps to the side, as Cliff gets up from his seat and steps up to the podium. He is carrying a stack of papers, which he straightens, and then starts reading off of them.**
Cliff-
Hello NMW stars. Recently I did some research on the MOW Slaughterhouse, and I learned some very interesting things. First of all, their co-commissioners, Fred Stipe and Rex LaClair, have been rumored to be involved in a secret homosexual relationship. Also, their commentators have been seen circle-jerking in the company bathroom, and word is that they may be facing suspensions.**The camera flashes over to show Tyler Fredericks and Brian Erikson, NMW's commentators. They wink at each other, and the camera then cuts back to Cliff.**
Cliff-
Continuing on, sources tell me that World Champion Toran Crest is the lovechild of a mule and a banana. I can't confirm this, but sources say that it is about 95 percent true, with the possibility of the mule actually being a donkey.**Winters then steps up next to Cliff, and looks at him a bit angrily.**
Winters-
Cliff, do you have anything besides gossip on the SH?Cliff-
Um, well, I do have one thing…Winters-
And what might that be?Cliff-
Well, I learned that the Slaughterhouse's broadcast system is under a limited contract with the MOW. I also learned that the broadcast company is very greedy and could possibly be interest in striking a deal with NMW. Do with that info what you will, Mr. Winters. That's all I have.**Winters grins and shakes hands with Cliff.**
Winters-
Thank you Cliff, you may have just given me a wonderful idea.**Cliff smiles and takes his seat.**
Winters-
Moving right along, our current High Stakes champion, Cazz Selmer, has asked me for some time in the spotlight. Cazz, you're up.**Cazz Selmer gets up from his seat, with the High Stakes title around his waist. Cazz walks up to the front of the room, and shakes hands with Winters. Cazz then walks over to a large chalkboard and wheels it up front. He flips it over, revealing a few pictures and diagrams of stick people.**
Cazz-
I've been here in NMW for quite a while now, and one thing I've noticed is our collective lack of technical ability. Personally, I know 1572 armbars, but from what I've seen, the rest of you know maybe 4 combined! So, I have come before you today to give you all a crash course on armbars.**The NMW stars begin to get restless, and some of them even start to boo. Cazz ignores them.**
Cazz-
Now, first of all, we have the Reverse Fujiwara Armbar. This is one of the most simple maneuvers to pull off, yet it is very painful and very effective. I've gotten many people to tap out to this hold, mainly because it is so easy to apply. First, all you have to do is wait for your opponent to get impatient and charge at you. Then, as they run towards you, duck under their arm, hooking it with your opposite arm at the same time. Next, you must put all your weight on…**Suddenly, a tomato flies out from the crowd, and nearly strikes Cazz in the faces. Cazz looks around angrily, his eyes settling on Buddy the Clown.**
Cazz-
Who threw that?!?Buddy-
Not me…It was the crouton!**Cazz looks angrily at both Buddy and the crouton, then turns around back to his chalkboard.**
Cazz-
As I was saying…You must put all your weight on their shoulder, which causes them to fall face-first to…**Now a crouton flies out from the crowd, zipping past Cazz's head. Selmer spins around and stares back at Buddy and Aikeiro, who are both pointing at each other.**
Cazz-
You son of a bastards! I'm trying to give a presentation here! You all need to learn some technical wrestling holds!**The stars start booing, as more tomatoes start to fly at Cazz. Winters ducks behind the podium as fruit flies from every direction. Cazz runs behind the chalkboard and wheels it off the stage.**
Cazz-
Lesson is over!**Winters peeks up over the top of the podium, as Cazz tiptoes back to his seat.**
Winters-
Well, that just about wraps everything up, with the exception of one last issue. We need a leader. Someone to lead the troops into battle. Jackson King, last week, you were the first man to show your face in favor of NMW, and I would like you to lead everyone. What do you say?**"The Real Thing" Jackson King gets up from his seat, all attention on him. King walks up to the podium and looks at Winters.**
King-
I'm honored Mr. Winters, and I accept this position. I will lead all of NMW's stars against the UAW and MOW Slaughterhouse, and we will show them what New Millenium Wrestling is all about! And I personally will make sure that all opposers of NMW kiss MY HAIRY BLACK A…**Before King can finish, the door in the back of the room is throw open, and everyone turns to look back. A dark figure steps into the room, and makes his way through the group of NMW superstars, and steps up onto the stage. Thresh Crest glances over at both Winters and Jackson King, who stand in silence, wondering what Thresh is here for. King readies himself for a fight, but Crest signals for him to calm down. King lowers his guard, and Thresh steps up behind the podium.**
Thresh-
I know you all don't like me, but that's okay. I am here for one thing, and one thing only, to help you all destroy those mother f--king, ass-sucking bastards in our rival federations, including my s--t eating brother, Toran. King, I'm willing to work out a compromise with you, if you'll let me fight by your side. You too Winters. I want to kill each and every one of those mother f--kers!**The NMW rosters cheers. Winters and King both look at each other. Thresh extends his hand to them.**
Thresh-
Truce?**King hesitates…then reaches out and grabs Thresh's hand, shaking it heartily. Thresh and King then raise their hand in the air, much to the delight of all the NMW stars. Winters steps up and puts his arms around both men.**
Winters-
People…NMW will not die without a fight. You have all proven to me that you bleed NMW, and I am ready to do whatever it takes to get our World title back from Zack, and destroy our competition. So I think I join Jackson and Thresh in saying…LONG LIVE NMW!!**The roster yells back the same thing, as the camera fades out.**
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