another year gone by and i've lost myself. licking my wounds crawling like a reptile feeling like a monster. i don't know myself at all. everything i thought i knew was wrong.

I AM NOT: hurt
I WAS: almost dead
I WAS NEVER: what you thought
I WILL BE: happy
I WILL: always want lust and blood
I WILL NOT: ever be what you want
I LIKE: pain
I LOVE: too much but it's never fucking enough.
I DISLIKE: myself. but i'll survive.
I HATE: myself and i want to die.
I WANT: him all to myself
I NEED: blood, sex, and love.
I DONT WANT: to keep trying.
I DONT NEED: your judgement
I SHOULDN'T: listen.
I'D LIKE TO HAVE: him.
I'D LIKE TO OWN: davey havok.
I LISTEN: to everyone i shouldn't. the negativity.
I EAT: too much
I DRINK: too escape
I SMOKE: no.
I DRESS: in sex soaked rags
I LAUGH: at you.
I DRIVE: myself insane.
I PLAY: rough.
I CRY: most of the time
I YELL: when you aren't listening
I DREAM: of being a rockstar, new orleans, blood sex and chartreuse. with him.
I FEEL: better
I MAKE: hearts break
I SAY: you're no one until someone hates you.
I WISH I COULD: escape.
I WISH I WAS: thin
I WISH I WASN'T: such a waste
I AM HAPPY: when i am with him
I AM HORNY: when you are rought
I LOVE MYSELF: when i'm with you
I WANT TO ______RIGHT NOW: be with them
I WANT TO ______ TOMORROW: be a rockstar