Movie reviews:
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Top Ten of 2001
New Chucky Movie
Batman Beyond (not yet done)
Jason X:
I went to this movie on opening night and surprisingly there were only like 5 other people in the whole god damn theatre. That is deffinately not a good thing for whatever company put out the movie but it was great for me because i hate watching a movie with a shitpile of other people because it is so hard to listen and keep focus on a film when u got some prick beside u that wont shut the fuck up.
ok, on to the movie review.... The movie was fucking great....for the first time in a long tome a Jason movie has actually had a decent story line. though like every film prior to it it did not explain how he came back to life again that really didnt matter. i dont wanna really give away any of the movie because if i do that i fear noone will rent it and then the film will make even less on video than it did at theatres. i will say that it had some hella cool special effects like a chicks head being frozen and then shattered,. also it had some great nudity near the end of the film. the great nudity scene is also the funniest thing i have ever scene in any horror film ever.
i also liked the film because it didnt take out its scene where the space ship took out a few huge ass buildings. they obviously were hoping for people to think world trade centre and then complain thus giving them more advertising. i dont think that worked though because people that go to that film are not bitches like the people who go to such films like spiderman (spiderman had to revome a scene with wtc looking buildings so that lil fudgepackers wouldnt bitch). Anyways the film also has a great ending that leaves u to believe a Jason 11 will be comming soon. Its totally great!
I rate this film 9/10, woulda been 10/10 but the star chick didnt get naked and the chick that got her head smashed didnt get her shirt pulled off in her struggle with jason (which really pist me off because there were like 3-4 seconds of her shirt getting pulled up and not over).
I for one am deffinately gonna buy the DVD and i am also totally gonna goto the jason VS freddy movie that should be comming out in October.
Terror Firmer-dvd :
i bought this dvd in toronto at HMV the fucking shit costed 50 damn dollars. i had a 25$ gift certificate that was givin to me so i'm not too pist about this dvd cause i only actually spent like 30$ of cash on the shit.
anyways Terror firmer is a B horror movie.....well it's classified as a B horror....i think its more like a C or D because the first few chucky films and many other good movies like the early freddy and Jason films are B movies and the have much better effects then this Terror Firmer garbage.
anyways on to the movies plot . it's a movie about making shitty movies, while the shitty film is being made people working on it are being killed by a crazy bitch that turns out to be the main dude in the movie , and it turns out he's a hermaphrodite only he has a stump penis because his father cut off his wang when he was a kid so that he could fuck a lil girl........thus making the dude/chick crazy.
it's a fuct up movie with alot of cool cameos by ron jeremy, lemmy from motorhead and matt & trey creaters of southpark and stars of the Troma film Cannibal the Musical.
the movie is like all other TROMA movies that are made....its disturbing,raunchy,and filled with blood and boobs....sometimes bloody boobs. anyways the film is crap....the cameos are cool, some scenes are funny, and the tit scenes are ok, but other then that this movie sucks balls. i rate it a 5/10.
i should have known it was gonna suck when the only really good comment about it was givin by kevin eastman, 1 of the 2 dudes the created the ninja turtles. he was cool but then he stopped working on the turtles stuff. so he sucks .
SHOW TIME:
i saw this movie @ amc awhile ago and to cut strait to the point it suct balls. I thought it would be good because eddie murphy has kicked ass in every other cop movie he's been in (metro,beverly hills cop 1,2,3,48 hrs, and another 48hrs) . this movie was lame....the jokes were dumb and Deniro is not funny at all. the only thing funny about Deniro's comedy films (analize this,meet the parents,and now this crap fest) is that he is so not funny and he obviously thinks he is or else he wouldnt be doing this crap.
this movie was like a sad attepmt to rip off rush hour. it is sad......i give it 4/10
JAY & SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK:
I bought this DVD the day it came out and immediately watched it twice. I had seen this movie at the theatres back in late July and I had totally forgot how fucking funny this shit was……it is also way fucking better watching it alone without having to hear the laughter of dip shit around u like at the theatres! The only bad thing about this was I fuct up and bought the wide screen version. I figured the DVD came with both but versions but I was wrong. It seems Kevin Smith is trying to milk as much money as possible outta people for this thing, but oh well. Anyway this was by far the best movie of last year, it has everything except nudity. The DVD has alotta cool extra shit on it but the deleted seens were fuct up and they seemed to be played super fast! The talking is perfect but the video looks like its in fast forward….either the widescreen DVD is just made all fuct up or my bro's computer is a piece of shit . Due to the comp being new I am gonna go with the first one….so getting to the point I am gonna rate this 8/10 (deduction of 2 possible marks due to lack of tits) . I also think this is a movie everyone should buy, just don't fuck up and get the wide screen shit!
calatoral damage-
OK my advise to you people reading this….DO NOT GOTO THIS MOVIE! It was pretty weak. It was just like every other damn Arnold movie only gayer. However it did have Casey Jones from ninja turtles 1 & 3 in it so the movie wasn't a total waste of my time. The action scenes are good but highly similar to everything you've fucking seen before.… The whole Arnold as a super hero thing is just so played out. Nobody actually believes Arnold could have a chance against a terrorist group. He's just to old now! The only movies I liked that he was in were Terminator 2 & that last one with the devil that I can't recall the name of…..anyway I rate this movie 5/10 ….wait till it comes on TMN to see this one.
Though I garentee Terminator 3 will kick ass when it comes out in 2003…..do not, I repeat to not see any Arnold film before that one.
if u would like me to review a movie u want to know about just email me and i will post a review. if i have not seen the movie or i just dont want to then i will steal a reveiw from another site and post that for u!
alright thats about all ive got to say for now....keep checking back here in a little while.
-Doug J