Note: Aw, you know the routine. Every character copyrighted by Disney and all that stuff.

The stories opens on February 14, 2001 at the Avian Royale, a rather fancy and very expensive night club for birds owned and managed by the Three Caballeros themselves (Donald, Jose Carioca [sp?], and Pico) about twenty miles northwest of the Disney studio lot (at least in my Steelbeak/Iago fanfics [I already know such a club doesn't exist in real life]), where we see Iago and Thundra entering.

Jose: "Ha! Senior Iago. Your usual table, I assume?".

Iago (handing Jose two $100 bills): "Our usual table indeed, Jose. Just remember our usual deal; I'll continue to tip generously as long as you and your business partners keep quiet about you know what.".

Jose: "Understood, Iago. I still don't know how Senior Steelbeak was able to get ahold of those reservation records you told us he presented you on New Millenium's Eve, but I promise you we HAVE beefed up our security.".

Iago: "That's good to know, Jose.".

Iago gently kisses Thundra on the left wing and extends a courtly "ladies first"-type bow as the two birds head for their table. After Iago and Thundra have gotten out of sight, Steelbeak shows up with Lucretia DeCoy. Steelbeak hands Jose a $1000 bill.

Steelbeak (in a very quiet voice): "Youse know da drill, Jose. Simply do not tell anybuddy about my "'transactions'", 'specially not Ammonia Pine. Dat dame is so psycho dat even t'ough we've neva actually bin on a date, she STILL t'inks she's my goilfriend, despite my efforts ta tell her uddawise.".

Jose (also in a very quiet voice): "Understood, Steelbeak."

As Steelbeak and Lucretia head toward the tables, we shift the scene to find Iago and Thundra already at THEIR table.".

Iago: "Well, my not-so-little jungle temptress, this is it; the sixth anniversary of our first actual date. I still can't believe it's been ALREADY been six years to the day since we first shared that dinner and dance on the Atlantic Empress (re: Pacific Princess}. We were brought together by chance THEN, but that's one instance where I'm DEFINITELY not complaining about chance."

Thundra: "Si, mi amor. Still, I think you're being a bit paranoid trying so hard to keep our relationship a secret.".

Iago: "Well, can you BLAME ME for wanting you all to myself? I already admitted to you that I was more than a little lecherous back before I started seeing you steadily. Well, I've made quite a few enemies out of the jealous would-be boyfriends of the women I "'associated with'" back in my womanizer days and I'm afraid that, if our relationship became public knowledge, some of those enemies might try to get back at me by trying to seduce you. Said enemies HAVE had several years to work on their smooth talk and improve their looks and, let's be honest, there are plenty of male birds who would LOVE to win your
heart; even if those who DON'T have a grudge against me.".

Thundra: "I guess it IS perversely flattering that you want so hard to make this relationship work that you're over-worried about some handsome, smooth-talking male bird taking me away from you, my little jibblet. However, I want to reinterate that you have NOTHING to worry about on that front. I want just as much for this relationship to work as you do.".

Iago: "Thank you, my tropical goddess.".

Just then, Pico, the head waiter walks up to the table.

Pico: "May I talk your orders?".

Iago (in his most suave tone): "Yes, I'll have the usual; a plate full of your best bird seed and a glass of your best mineral water. What do YOU want to order, Thundra, my dear?".

Thundra: "I'll ALSO have MY usual; one glass of your best non-alcoholic tropical fruit drink and one plate of your best tofu.".

Pico: "At once, senior and seniorita.".

After Pico leaves Iago and Thundra's table, we now shift the scene to Steelbeak and Lucreita's table.

Lucreita DeCoy: "So, Steelbeak, why have you taken me to the Avian Royale tonight?".

Steelbeak: "Two reasons; One: I want very much ta make a good impress'n n' Two: Dis place is outta Ammonia's price range so dere's less chance'a her barge'n in on us.".

Outside the club, however, Ammonia Pine's specialized vehicle pulls into the Avian Royale parking lot and lets out a blast of super-concentrated water that destroys the front door. Ammonia then proceeds to drive right into the club.

Ammonia Pine (speaking through a megaphone): "Where is that tenth-rate hussy that's trying to take my Steelie away? I'll teach her not to go messing with MY man(switching on her vehicle's super-vacuum device to start to suck in everything and everybody in the club)!".

    As Iago is getting pulled toward the vacuum however, a huge cloud comes up JUST outside the club and blasts Ammonia's vehicle with a lightning bolt that disables said vehicle. After that, a VERY localized tornado comes into the club and carries out Ammonia's specialized vehicle.

Iago: "Look, Ammonia, Steelbeak isn't here. He's off trying to buy you a nice Valentine's night gift.".

Ammonia Pine: "But what about the rumors that my Steelie was taking Lucretia De Coy here.".

Iago: "Those were intentionally planted to throw people off. Steelbeak wants you all to himself, after all.".

Ammonia Pine: "Really? Geeze, I'm sorry about causing so much trouble. As soon as I get my vehicle up and running, I'll be out of here and won't cause any more trouble tonight. I've got to prepare for my Steelie's arrival.".

After Ammonia leaves, Iago finds Steelbeak with Lucretia DeCoy on the dance floor and flies up to Ms. DeCoy, grabbing a cleverly hidden tape recorder and micro-camera that the female spy had on her.

Lucretia DeCoy: "Come on, Iago, please give me those back. Those are meant for a wedding present for an old friend of mind. Would you PLEASE give me those devices back.".

Iago (altering his vocal tone to sound like a '40s private eye): "Sorry, Ms. DeCoy, but this is ONE bird who ISN'T talking the bait. You intended to use these to either blackmail Steelbeak or reveal at least ONE of his indiscretions, which would lead to Ammonia seriously whupping the tar out of him. Now hit the bricks, sister.".

Lucretia DeCoy walks out of the club, grumbling something at such a low pitch that even I don't know what she says.

Steelbeak: "T'anks fer saving my tail back dere, Iago ol' buddy. If dere's anyt'ing youse eva need, don't hesitate ta ask.".

Iago: "For one thing, I had help saving you, Steelbeak; help whose name which I WON'T disclose. Second, I suggest you hurry up and buy Ammonia the best Valentine's day gift you can find, just to throw her off. She came VERY close this time.".

Steelbeak: "Gotcha, Iago. Well, I t'ink dere are still a few really nice stores that 'r still open, so I bedda git go'n.".

With that, Steelbeak hurries out of the club and Iago gets back to Thundra.

Iago (gently kissing Thundra on both wings): "Thanks for saving me from Ammonia's super-vacuum, my feathery jungle blossom. One of these days, Steelbeak HAS TO find a way to make it clear to Ammonia that he is NOT interested in her. I'm just lucky she wasn't smart enough to see through my lie. (sighing) The things I do for my friends. Let's just hope we have the rest of the night to ourselves after we have our dinner. Ammonia's attack was ALMOST more excitement than I can handle for one night (finishing with a mischievous smile).".

Thundra (gently ruffling Iago's top feathers, which causes the parrot to blush and give a pleasantly embarassed sign and grin): "No problem, mi amour. Now let's go enjoy our meal (kissing Iago fully on the beak, which makes him blush even more).".

Iago (regaining some semblance of his composure with a lot of effort): "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Let's please at least wait until after I see you home before we go any further into that.".