Warehouse of Love -

*Ammonia Pine, The Liquidator and Frollo have come home from their 'vacation and are now settling their suitcases onto the W.O.L couches while Steelbeak, Rameses and Scar are basically just lazily lying about, reading comic books and doing nothing useful

Rameses: So...How was Toronto?

Ammonia: *indifferent;  gives Steelbeak all the suitcases to unpack and place back in storage* Eh...Nothin' to write home about.

Frollo: *sighs* It was fine.

The Liquidator: The traffic was slow, the goose droppings were everywhere, there was freezing rain,  we almost got into an accident, but everything was a-okay!

Steelbeak: *returns* Da last time I went to dat  zoo, I was almost tranquilized by a zookeeper.  Not fun.

Scar: Somehow I'm not surprised. As a matter of fact, I wish they did tranquilize you.

Rameses: Scar...Don't start.

The Liquidator: Don't stop!

Frollo: I saw more wild Canadian geese at the zoo than exhibited animals! Such a disgrace! The restaurant and hotel were no better, either.

Scar: I would have rather stayed in the lion enclosure than that stupid hotel.  I generally avoid those sort of places...

Steelbeak: Eh, zoos don't do much fer me.  I prefer da upper class places myself.

Rameses: But zoos are fascinating!  You can learn so many things from them!

Scar: If I wanted to see animals in cages, I could take a walk over to the Barton Street jail.

*Negaverse Lair theme goes off*

Rameses: *switches on the monitor* I wonder what Simba and Nala are up to...

Negaverse Lair -

*The whole place is a mess; Negaduck and Megavolt are polishing a collection of different types of sporks while at the same time, they are trying to make the place look somewhat decent.  When Negaduck sees Rameses, he throws the spork over his shoulder, nearly impaling Megavolt in the eye!*

Negaduck: Eh, sorry about the mess...We haven't cleaned our sporks since 1997.  It's all Megavolt's fault, really.

Megavolt: *whines* No it isn't.  You're the one who stored them under the couch!

Negaduck: *towers over the now cowering Megavolt* Are you questioning me again?

Megavolt: *gulps* Um, no...

Negaduck: I put them there for a reason! Why did you move them!?

Megavolt:  *inches away* Umm...Because...Their presence was disturbing the light bulbs?

Negaduck: *raises an eyebrow* Right. The next thing you'll be saying is that they're taking up Feng-Shui.

Warehouse of Love -

Rameses: Um, guys? Before you break out into a fight and brutally kill one another, could you tell us what we'll be getting in the theater?

Negaverse Lair -

*just as Megavolt starts to read out today's experiment on the clipboard, Negaduck snatches it away from him and throws a light bulb against the wall, causing Megavolt to burst into tears

Megavolt: *crying* Why did you do that?!

Negaduck: I just did.  Anyways, today you and the rest of the knobs will be reading a new piece of License to Steel hate mail, along with an unusual spam that was collected off of Acmepet's Dog House Bulletin Board.  Enjoy! *presses the theater button*

Warehouse of Love -

*the W.O.L gang are in panic, while "the boys" are racing about like maniacs trying to get into the theater;  Steelbeak accidentally knocks over a jug of milk onto the floor, infuriating Ammonia Pine and he manages to run away from her before he gets whacked over the head with her mop*

*Door  Sequence

7...6...5...4...3...2...1...

*all the guys take their seats as usual as soon as they enter the theater*

Frollo: Now, when he mentioned that we were going to go through an unusual spam, what exactly did he mean?

The Liquidator: Nobody knows but Jesus!

Rameses: You've been using that Jesusfier thing too much, haven't you? I think I should limit everyone's Internet time...

Visitors and tourist to the island of

Scar: Manatulin?

Steelbeak: Mad-a-gas-car?

Rameses: New Zealand?

The Liquidator: Hawaii!

Frollo: New Guinea?

Puerto Rico, USA

All: Oh...

Rameses: Well, I never guessed that one...

Steelbeak: Of course Scar here just 'ad ta mention an Ontario island!

should beware

The Liquidator: Of the dog's owner!

if they are putting any deposits for either a short term or long-term

Frollo: Stay at the Negaverse Lair.

Scar: Or Warehouse of Love.  Both are as bad as one another.

vacation rental.

The Liquidator: For only a third of the original price!

The rental agents and utility companies on this island unfortunately have developed the custom of

Steelbeak: Mooning tourists!

Frollo: You never fail to irritate me.

Steelbeak: Dat's nice.

Rameses: Steelbeak...

retaining your deposits irregardless of how you leave things with them.

Steelbeak: *acts innocent*  Oh yeah, well, just leave yer deposits wit' us F.O.W.L agents.  We won't do anyt'ing bad wit' 'em.  Really.  We'll guard 'em wit' our lives!

Take the case of Larry Richards.

All: Hi Larry Richards!

Larry rented a

Scar: Prost-

Rameses: *quickly closes Scar's jaws* NO!

short-term apartment

Frollo: See? It was perfectly innocent! You just have to twist everything around, don't you?

The Liquidator: Meanwhile...

in Manati, Puerto Rico

Steelbeak: Larry's wife was making out with Larry's brother!

Frollo: *groan*

Rameses: Steelbeak!

Steelbeak: *proudly* Dat's my name!

on a month-to-month basis.

Scar: I suppose that's how the wafer crumbles...

The owners of the property

The Liquidator: Actual F.O.W.L agents in disguise named Dick and Harry!

asked Larry for a

Frollo: Drive home from the party after becoming most disgustingly intoxicated.

$ 400 dollar deposit in addition to the rent.

Scar: This is confusing...

Steelbeak: Ya know, fer once, I agree! I hate dis...

Rameses:  It's damn confusing!

They assured Larry that he would receive

The Liquidator: A free complimentary breakfast in the lobby!

the deposit upon his departure from the rental.

Frollo: Was marked "invalid"

Larry arranged to leave,

Steelbeak: Bye, Larry!

cleaned the apartment thoroughly,

The Liquidator:  With the Liquidator Brand, Ammonia Pine-approved cleaning solution!

had a friend and the rental agent, walk thru the clean unit and asked for

Scar: A cup of tea and cookies!

and received a receipt documenting his departure date, documenting that all provided furnishings were good

Frollo: But not perfect

condition etc.

Steelbeak: *points to "condition etc"* I wonder what dey mean by et cetera...Is dere somet'ing dat dey're  keeping a secret from us?

Rameses: *shrugs* Who knows!

The rental agent stated that his deposit would be returned within thirty days.

Rameses: This whole thing reminds me of something that would be found at Snopes.  You know, the Urban Legends page?

Frollo: *flatly* Indeed...

After more then six months and multiple inquires it became apparent that

The Liquidator: Larry was scammed!

Frollo/Rameses/Steelbeak: Aww!

the word of a rental agent

Steelbeak: *hippy* Word, man. Word!

 is as worthless on the island of Puerto Rico as it is worthless any place else.

Rameses: Oh yes! Just cram all rental agents into the same category!

Scar: They're all the same, you know...

The electric utility in Puerto Rico did essentially the same thing.

Steelbeak:  Woah, ev'ryone  on dat island's doing da same t'ing.  Must be pretty boring out dere!

Rameses: *sighs*  Not the same thing, but essentially the same thing.

The Liquidator: Same difference!

Larry asked for the service to be disconnected on May 29, 2001.

Frollo: Perhaps if he ignored them, they'll all go away!

They didn’t get around to reading

Scar: Charlotte's Web?

Rameses: Snow Dog?

The Liquidator: Old Yeller!

the meter until June 15, 2001.

All: Oh.

Steelbeak: Such an oddly profound statement...

They charged Larry for

Rameses: Spamming unrelated bulletin boards?

the addition two weeks even though somebody else was already living there

The Liquidator: Cyber space meets up with Goldie Locks and The Three Bears!

and even thou

Scar: Thou?

Rameses: Thou shalt not spam.

Larry had asked for disconnect on May 29, 2001.

Steelbeak: Can't he just unplug de modem?

Frollo: He'd rather have the 'useless' travel agents do that for him.

If you find your self in a similar situation in Puerto Rico, USA,

The Liquidator: Call the Scam Squad at once!

we recommend that you destroy

The Liquidator: This letter!

all the furniture

Steelbeak: Oh yeah, take it out on da furn-i-ture!

and turn even

Frollo: Is the author giving us dancing lessons now?

electrical appliance you have in your unit on HIGH

Scar: Hehehe...High...

and run them day and night seven days a week.

The Liquidator: *as a narrator* Causing Megavolt to start a "save the electricity" campaign!

At least this way you are bound to feel some satisfaction.

Steelbeak: Ohh...I feel it...Oooh, yeah!

Rameses: Knock it off!

Scar: It's over...*gets up to leave*

Rameses: *holds him back* No, it isn't!

Scar: Damn.

All right,

The Liquidator: All left!

now I'm pissed off!!!!!

Frollo: *scowls* Care to keep it civilized?

You dissed my friend who's a

Steelbeak: Seven-foot tall fat, hairy guy who hasn't washed his hair in five years!

Southern Baptist!!!!

Steelbeak: Oooohhhh....

Scar: You were way off...

You bitches are sick!!!!!!!

The Liquidator: Do you always talk like this, or is it just a phase?  Sort it out with The Liquidator's curse-out training! Guaranteed to stop cursing within two weeks! Only $100 per session! Space is limited so hurry now!

I meajn

Frollo: *raises an eyebrow* Meajn?

Rameses: Sounds like a Cajun dish.

God,

Steelbeak: What a guy, eh?

wanting to see Steelbeak in a thong?????????????????????

Scar: Oh, please...

Rameses: It was only one picture...

Steelbeak: I actually almost always wear t'ongs.  It was in just dat one episode dat I hadda wear boxers!

Frollo: My life complete knowing that!

That's sick!!!!!!

Scar: I agree! It's revolting!

Steelbeak: Da t'ings people draw...*clicks his tongue against the roof of his beak while trying to stifle a laugh*

Rameses: This person sure makes a good use out of the exclamation marks...

EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

Frollo: *scowls* Not in that way...

You should be ASHAMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Liquidator: But we're not!

This site is soooooooooooo

Steelbeak: Cool!

fucked up!!!!!!

Rameses:  I haven't seen language like that since the Chris Rock special!

Scar: Do we even still have that on video?

Rameses: Somewere...

Leave those Southern Baptists alone!!!!!!

The Liquidator: We leave them alone, but they don't leave us alone!

They're cool!!!!!

Steelbeak: Top of cool!

They haVE more morals than you ever will!!!!!!

Frollo: They also probably use considerably less exclamation marks.

And if you use those god damned Disney characters to "MST" my flame,

Scar: I will hunt down and assault you with my bad spelling!

Steelbeak: Den I'll tell mommy!

 I will kick your donkey's ass,

The Liquidator: Redundancy alert!

you bitches!!!!!!!!!!!

Rameses: *sarcastically* So original with his insults, isn't he?

Frollo: Quite so!

Scar: I wish I had as many insults as him!

GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!1

The Liquidator: And collect five thousand!

HAHAHA!!!!!

All: *groan*

I want fuzzy bunny sex,

Rameses: Ooookay...

Scar: *quirks an eyebrow*  Hypocrite.

Steelbeak: I'm not even touching dat one...

and there's none on this fucked up site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frollo: Fascinating!

Scar: The exclaimation marks seem to be multiplying...

I came here to see

The Liquidator: *dramatically* The Liiiiquidator!

Darkwing and Steelbeak getting it on

Steelbeak: WHAT?!

but fuck, it's not here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frollo: Did he really have to use that word three times?

Take down this piece of bird shit if you know what's good for you!!!!!!!!!!

Scar: I've always hated Canadian geese...

Steelbeak: Da only boid dat I really 'ate are pigeons.

Rameses: Stupid, messy things...

Frollo: Vile creatures...

WALT DISNEY IS ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE RIGHT NOW, YOU BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!

The Liquidator: From laughing at you!

-someone who's mad

Steelbeak: Nice name, babe!

*all exit the theater when the lights turn on again*

Warehouse of Love -

*the W.O.L gang are scattered about, doing their own thing; Ammonia Pine is on the computer, Steelbeak and The Liquidator are playing a video game while Frollo, Scar and Rameses engage in a somewhat intelligent discussion*

Frollo: That was an experiance I really do not care to repeat...

Scar: The spam was just confusing...

Rameses:  All spam is, really.

Scar: That one took the buiscut...

Ammonia Pine: *shouts* When is LtS gonna be featured on Portal of Evil?

Rameses: Hopefully never.  That'll mean more crap that Negaduck and Megavolt will put us through...

*Negaverse Lair theme goes off once again*

Rameses: Speaking of the devil...*shoos Ammonia off the computer and maximizes the NL Icon while the other boys scatter and hide underneath the dining table*

Negaverse Lair -

*the place is considerably more tidier than it was before, but still a mess, and several F.O.W.L Eggmen are putting away stuff onto shelves, in boxes, etc*

Negaduck: *looks into the monitor grinning sinisterly* Greetings and Salutations my fellow villain comrades!

*an Eggman accidentally drops a box, and a huge shattering noise is heard;  Negaduck freaks out and begins to pound the living daylights out of him while Megavolt is getting a well-deserved massage from an Eggwoman*

W.O.L -

Rameses: Um, I see that you're using Eggmen now.  Did F.O.W.L give them to me?

Negaverse Lair -

Negaduck: *flings the Eggman across his shoulder*  Eh, I stole them.

W.O.L -

Rameses:  How exactly do you steal Eggmen?  What did you do with the other three guys?

Negaverse Lair -

Megavolt:  Stop picking on the lightbulbs! They've never harmed anyone!

Negaduck: *is very irritated*  I just went to the F.O.W.L headquarters, snatched a few Eggmen and got the hell out of there.  I fired the other knobs. Any more questions?

W.O.L -

Rameses: Oh...Actually, I do have one more question.  Why does the Toronto Zoo page look mouldy?

Negaverse Lair -

Negaduck: How should I know?!

W.O.L -

Rameses: *backs away a bit* Well, I thought you said you took over the Internet...I thought you might have known!

Negaverse Lair -

*while Negaduck has been distracted by Rameses, the Eggmen suddenly gang up on Negaduck who fights back viciously*

Negaduck: LET GO OF ME!

Megavolt: *just kinda stares stupidly and walks away* Eh...

Negaduck: GET BACK HERE!

Megavolt: *folds his arms and attempts to look haughty* Not until you apogize to my friends!

Negaduck: *while getting dragged away into an ominous dark room* Rrrrrarrrgh!

*As we fade out to the credits, the W.O.L gang are celebrating. Is this the end of Negaduck? No one will know for sure.*

Disclaimer:

Scar, The Fearsome Five, Frollo, Ammonia Pine and Steelbeak are copyrighted 1991-1996 by the Walt Disney Company. Rameses is copyright 1998 by DreamWorks. Concept idea from Mystery Science Theater 3000 is copyright Best Brains Inc. Please do not redistribute MiSTing without prior consent of the author. ladyscarkeeper@yahoo.com