Parasite (1982)

In the distant future a disease will wipe off most of the population, and fuel as well I guess. Those left behind will have nothing better to do than create killer parasites and grow lemons. Yes, the future is bleak indeed. At least there will be women like Demi Moore around. But honeslty, this was a pretty wacked movie. It was creative, I have to give 'em that. And it was funny to see Moore in such a B movie, but other than that don't bother. 2.5 out of 5.

Characters:

• Paul: Scientist who created a parasite that will suck people dead. he also carrys a ray gun. (Thats how we know it takes place in the future!)
• Patricia: (Demi Moore!) I bet she'd like to forget she played a post-apocalyptic lemon farmer who gets chased by a giant slug, but we know the truth! Boo ya, Demi! Boo ya.
• Ricus: Gang leader who is a real prick at first, but ends up being a decent guy. Still gets zapped for his troubles.
• Wolf the Merchant: How can you not want to see a movie that has a character named Wolf the Merchant?! Government agent sent to kill Paul and collect the parasite. Sucked on and burned alive.
• Collins: Old black batrender/ diner owner, who knows how to handle a shotgun.
• Zeke: The first gang member to get sucked dry by the parasite. After watching this movie, I know how he felt.
• Dana: Female member of the gang who also gets drained.
• Miss Daley: The owner of the 'hotel' or whatever you wanna call it. She's old and nosey, which is a bad combination to be in a movie like this. Sucked.
• Buddy: Older man who Paul befriends early on. Gets his hand sliced off by Wolf.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 6
• Weapons Used: A stool, ray guns, a tree branch, a snake, a pipe and a knife.
• Breast Shots: 1, and no, it's not her.
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 0
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 1
• Chances of a sequel being made: 0

In the future...

• people will have names like Zeke, Wolf and Ricus.
• Topless women will be very complex.
• The 'one glove look' will catch on.
• Gas stations will only accept silver.