Blood Surf

A film crew is doing a documentary on surfers who surf with sharks, and before they know it they are being hunted down by a 30 foot crocidile. This is your typical giant plastic animal eating stranded people movie. My biggest problem with this movie was that the characters were all so friggin stupid!! One swam right into the open jaws of the croc. Another started kicking it while it was temporarily unconscious. They all deserved to die. Nevertheless, it was entertaining and the general plot was interesting. 2.5 out of 5.

Characters:

• Cecily: Hot Aussie chick who is doing the camera work for the documentary. Is it just me or are chicks with Australian accents really hot?
• Bog: Idiot surfer who lures sharks into the area and then surfs around them. What would you expect from someone named Bog? But I guess he's our hero...
• Arti: Chick who likes to show of her breasts. No complaints here. Desides to kick the 'dead' crocidile and gets chomped.
• John Dirks: Captain of a fishing boat who has a past with this man-eating crocidile. Chomped in half.
• Jeremy: Blond surfer dude who is Bog's best frined. Tossed ion the air and chomped like a human Milk Dud.
• Zack: The manager of the whole film crew. Kind of a smuck. Surfs right into the croc's open mouth.
• Lemmya: Island girl that falls for Jeremy. Goes to the creek to wash her face and gets chomped.
• Sonny & Melba: Old couple who give the film crew a ride to the island and get chomped.
• Big Mic: Yes, the crocidle has a name. This big plastic fresh water croc is smarter than most of the characters. Impaled on a big rock.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 9, plus 5 more in a flashback.
• Weapons used: A knife, a gun, boobie traps, rocks, a big pointy rock, and explosives.
• Breast Shots: 3
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 0
• Ominous thunderstorms: 1
• Explosions: 1

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Gorilla solders should be greeted as space aliens.
• When all else fails, run your boat onto rocks.
• Where sis that surf board come from?
• Gorilla soilders have Internet access.
• Flashing your breasts at a crocidile will have no effect on it.