If you were an elderly woman...

If you were an elderly woman... If You Were a Grandma, Which Type Would You Be?

1. You keep your dentures...

in their case. Like, duh.
in a tin can.
in a box.
in your mouth.
in someone else's mouth.
next to the bourbon.
next to the measuring cups.
I have all of my teeth, thank you.

2. You wear:

Fubu.
an apron.
a seatbelt.
a French maid outfit.
custom made pants.
clothes. Like, duh.

3. Your favourite hang out is:

the bingo hall.
the grocery store.
at home.
the rehabilitation center.
Walmart.

4. Are those Depends I see?

Yes.
No.
Are you kidding me? Do you think Depends fit in these panties?
Shut up and drive.

You live...

alone.
in a car.
in a hefty bag.
off of ginger snaps.

6. So really, what's in the bag Ma'am?

Def Lepard cds.
Pepper spray, tissues, and suck candies
Carrots, cereal, tomatoes, limes...
Yarn and my reading glasses.

7. Now come on, admit it: You have wild sexual fantasies involving the mailman.

Ok, yeah I admit it.
Heck no!
*blinks* what?
Sure, but only because i have been married to him for 57 years.
Oh yeahhh... and they involve whips, chains, and Def Lepard.
No, he has sexual fantasies involving me.
Wtf?!?
Limp Bizkit?

8. How are the granchildren?: -

They are fun to take shopping.
I like to bake for them.
Warm.
Dead.
Which ones? I have 63.
Fine, like duh.
They laugh at me.
Get on your own damn side of the road!