Windex.. not just a drink anymore...

Please insert a mind here and then move on quickly.
Ok, well, I'm tired. I've vented in the last two pages, and if anyone is still with me after all that, then I owe you this:
Thanks. That means you care.
And, in my personal style, I would like to explain a long ignored problem in children literature that needs to be expressed.
Winnie the Pooh.
This "lovable" little bear has on many occasions, cause me many headaches. Let me explain:
Firstly: the name.
Winnie the Pooh. It's the name of a what? A bear. That's right, a bear. A four-legged creature, which in boy scouts we are told to hide our food from or he might ATTACK AND KILL us. This isn't just a thing with the name, but let us review. POOH. That's something that is left over after our bodies are done with it. Winnie. Winnie?? Anyone?? I know it must mean something, and the answers people have given me don't add up. It's not the kind of thing a kid, of 7, should call a killer bear. Winnie the Pooh.... gesh. Secondly: "Tigger".
This is where my original problem stems from. My favorite character was "tigger". Right... well, he's call "tigger" cause Christopher Robins couldn't spell, 'TIGER'. That's right, he couldn't spell it. I can't spell, but I'm not writing stories. Now, not only did he misspell it, but also his father let it "slide" and didn't bother changing it. This must have caused our dear friend Christopher a lot of 'F's on spelling B's later in life, thanks dad.
Now, here's the song that said "tigger" sings:
"The wonderful thing about tigger's, a tigger's a wonderful thing. Their heads are made out of ribber, (yes, that's how it is spelt in the song) their tales are made out of springs, they pouncey, pounce, fun, fun, fun, fun. The wonderful thing about "tigger" is that I'm the only one. I'm the only one."
(Shakes head slowly and sadly) Do you know why he's the only one?? Because, Christopher Robins made it that way. He made him a "tigger" not a 'TIGER' therefore creating a new species that couldn't procreate or have any fun besides jumping up and down on his "tail" all day long. If I couldn't have sex, and was the last of my species, you better believe I'd be doing the same.
Thirdly: The Story.
It has been said by many a viewer of Winnie the Pooh, that Pooh, is indeed, a drugy. Whatever is in that "hunny" pot seems to make him awfully... well... high. I'm straight edge, but I've seen in my day a many a wasted individual. And Pooh is that. Indeed.
And "piglet" has got to be his hook-up. That little pink speed freak has got to be slipping something into Pooh's "honey".
"eeyore" is simply a mellow high individual. Too much speed will do this to you I'm told, or too much pot. Not too mention, maybe acid and pot, seeing as he keeps "loosing his tail."
I know I heard a lot of this last part on a comedian's comedy hour at some point, but it holds a valid truth.
And lastly: PARENTS.
Kids don't need to be exposed to this. We are messed up already, and knowing parents, they were too when they were younger. I don't remember what was on the walls of my nursery. Nor what color my sheets were when I was a kid, and frankly, I don't care. Let's all be honest, Winnie the Pooh is more for the parents to calm down to then the child. When you look into a crib and see your kid, who's eating up over half your salary a week in DIAPERS, that he literally SH#TS in, maybe you'd like to see our dear friend, Winnie the Pooh staring back at you with a smile. Cause he knows what you don't; your kid just "POOH"ed all over those nice 45 dollar sheets.
Goodnight...