I don't.... know...

I've found that most relationships, when they end, cause a lot of turmoil on the emotions and feelings of those envolved, especially if one of the parties doesn't wish it to end. But that's life, a curve ball after another until an end is found. Sadly, that end tends to be death.
After my ex and I had broken up, I was upset. I felt like I lost my best friend, and someone that I had placed a lot of trust in, just kinda laughing at me and moving on. I felt hurt, lost and lonely. No matter who was with me, nothing seemed to help, she was everything to me at that time, and moving on wasn't easy. It felt like there were so many things I should have said, done, or felt that I didn't get to because she wished for something different. In retrospect, I don't blame her.
I've decided while reviewing how things happened, how I'm being treated now, that it may have very well been for the better like a lot of my friends told me. I know I shouldn't live with a regret or anything, but there are times that I wish things could be changed back to the way they were, but would I truly be happy? All signs point to 'NO'. I've met too many people since that have been there for me, I've found love again, and for once in a long time, I'm not affraid of tomorrow, no matter what it may hold.
This doesn't change a lot of things though. I'm still being toyed with by my mind and emotions on occasion. It's no one's fault but my own, and I don't feel like I hsould have to explain myself to anyone that I doesn't do at least the same to me. If you want to hate me, HATE ME. If you want to be my friend, then do just that. If you want me GONE, say so. If you want me there by your side, I'll be there. The thing is this, Tell me. I know so many people that are harboring these kind's of feelings towards me, but who won't say them. I don't get it. It's not just my ex, but some of my friends. I mean, I know who I want around, and I tell them so. I tell who I don't want around, that I don't want them around. It doesn't seem so hard.
I'm venting here, but more or less, I know now by looking a twhat's been going on recently in life, that I'm not the one to hold all the blame alone. There are those around me that need to do me and themselves a favor, and just be honest with each other, and tell what they truly want or feel. I don't want to hurt anyone, I don't want to be where I'm not wanted...don't they all feel the same??
Thanks for putting up with me, and goodnight.
Carry on...