Fade to CRHS (Cantina Reg High School) gym. Streamers are being fixed in place, balloons are being inflated and lofted, all being done by TASS, who has a martini in one hand and is moving the party objects around with his mind.

Tass: God I love this job.

SHAI enters, nervously looking over his shoulder.

Tass: What are you doing here boy? The prom starts in half an hour

Shai: Yuth ugh, sudck mayah coohock.

Tass: Put the tioszym on boy.

Shai: *fiddling with something in his armor* Aww..Aye volunteered wor the heepling commiteee

Tass: Ah yes boy! Well, climb the walls and hang the cre paper, inflate the balloons

Shai: Wahat about yoou

Tass: I’m going to lounge on this here Lay-Z-Boy and drink this martini

SHAI murmurs and begins to hang the cre paper and streamers from the ceiling, while TASS meanwhile reclines the Lay-Z-Boy and uses Psi to generate a small sun over him, making a pair of sunglasses appear over his eyes, and also to levitate a tanning mirror on his chest.

TWENTY NINE MINUTES LATER

Shai: *panting* Dddd..one…Profezzzor…Tassydar

Tass: Excellent boy! And with one minute to spare!

RENDELL, ILLYRIA, ULIC, and AMEEYA enter, AMEEYA clad in fishnets and lewd lingerie, ULIC in his typical jeans and shirt gone to with spraypaint to make it look like a tux, ILLYRIA in a lavenderish purpleish silk dress with a V-Back, hair braided. RENDELL in a pair of jeans and a crimson tanktop, looking around and feeling stupid for not dressing up.

Ulic: Jesus! Look! The little exchange boy decided to help out the Professor!

DAMRY then enters, as a coincidence that the writer of this story does not wish to discuss, also in the same garb as Illyria.

Damry: Ah shutup Ulic, ‘least he has the balls to help out the old man

Rendell and Illyria: Oooooh…busted.

Ameeya: Indeed…hmm..who to hit one tonight…wheres that cute little Vong…

SHAI has his masquer on to make him look like KEV.

Ameeya: Ahh! It’s Kev! KILL!

Tass: that little bitch! Wher’d he come from!

KEV..er..SHAI is blown through a wall by TASS’ psi blast.

Damry: Hrm…well, that’s that. Wheres the rest of the gang?

Ulic: You actually WANT Bane and Alkaiser to show up?

Damry: I meant Crong and Jessa and that cute little Osh-Osh dude.

Exactly on cue CRONG enters, wearing all khaki, on the shirt’s left shoulder is a patch reading JEDI BOYSCOUTS, troop number on the opposite, two merit badges for “Running” and “Climbing” are on his breast.

Ulic: *snicker* he can use both those talents while running from Ameeya

Crong: Why would I WANT to run from her?

Tass: Bah, shut up all of you damn human children, I’d like you to meet your DJ

Ulic: Please say you didn’t get that DJ Quest dude

A chuckle comes from across the room and a Protoss in black jeans and an Electroknot shirt, wearing several silver chains comes hovering in.

Tass: kids, or should I say dudes, this is Max Mancuso, my Templar apprentice.

Ulic: *mimicking Angelus* Yo home dawg! Welcome to mah crib!

Max: Shut up you damn neck-slicing human, go get whipped or something, you came for music I’ll give it

Ulic: *looks stunned*

All: Snicker

JESSA enters, clad in overly revealing G-String bikini pieces.

Jessa: huh? Damn! Ulic told me this was a beach party and I should wear my bikini!

Ulic: Er…

DAMRY bats ULIC over the head with her large heavy purse, slamming ULIC to the floor.

Ulic, from the floor: Aww…….shit

Ulic: Dammit Damry, now I ain’t gonna introduce you to my..ah…clo..er…twin.

Damry: Twin?

Enter SEPHIROTH, wearing a pair of baggy blue jeans and a black shirt that says “Limp Corellian Crossant”. DAMRY’s eyes widen and mouth gapes, you runs over, pounces SEPHY, and drags him into the girl’s locker room

Ameeya: Hmm…that’s my job

Rendell: Damn Proff, I’m thirsty, where’s the beer?

Tass: Huh? Oh, second closet next to the boy’s locker room

RENDELL walks over, opens the door. ALKAISER and BANE’s voices can be heard from inside, RENDELL slams the door shut, and turns away, vomiting. Everyone raises a brow and then screams in agony when extremely loud Goth music is put on.

Illyria: *yelling* Force! Man! We ain’t Goths! Put some good shit on!

Max: Yeah yeah, fine

MAX plays Subspace Junkies music, causing a mosh pit

Rendell: Hell yeah! MOSH! *shoulderrams Ulic*

Ulic: Awww…shit…*falls again after just getting up.

A large mosh pit ensues, at the incessant sounds of brawling DAMRY races out of the locker room and joins in the moshpit, SEPHY limps out after her, lipstick all over his face. MAX yells “Yah!” and begins shooting bolts of psi lightning randomly into the air.

Tass: Ah get in there ya little runt.

TASS grabs MAX by the shirt collar and throws him into the pit, where he is promptly floored and stepped on by RENDELL.

Suddenly, the music stops and a shot is fired into the air, everyone looks and sees SLAUGHT standing on the stereo.

Slaught: Everyone give me your valuables!

Suddenly, a voices comes from the heavens

Voice: NEWBIE! I AM SITHY! FEEL MY WRATH!

SLAUGHT explodes in a shower of gore.

Ulic: *getting off the floor* Hmm…agah…what now?

Ameeya: Well, in those cheap holo-dramas this is where everyone goes home and makes out.

Ulic: Sweet. Wanna try it?

Ameeya: Kay

AMEEYA and ULIC exit.

Illyria: Hey..wait..Damry! You stole my dress idea!

Damry: Bring it bitch!

DAMRY and ILLYRIA get into a catfight, eventually stumbling out the door and into a dumpster to a series of curses.

Rendell: Damn..and I was gonna ask if I could go home with Illyria…blast.

RENDELL turns to see MAX and JESSA moving out the door.

Rendell: Damn..I knew she was a slut, but inter-species?

Crong: Indeed..well buds, what now?

TASS hovers over, a case of beer in hand

Tass: This is where we get drunk as hell and go find some sluts, then go throw eggs at those Ayenee High School bastards

Crong: I’ll drink to that

Rendell: Hell with you, I’m gonna go outside and bail Illyria outta that dumpster, then take her to my ship where we can..ah..change clothes, yah

EXIT RENDELL

Crong: Uh…shit

Tass: Hm, fuck it, I’m gonna go see what that cute Protoss chick is doing.

Exit TASS

Crong: Fuck. Now I’m all alone

SHAI climbs back in, masqued as AMEEYA to avoid getting shot

Crong: Ameeya! Lets fuck!

SHAI doesn’t have his tiozym on, so the vong version of “Fuck no” comes out as “Heyll Yahy!” in basic.

There is a look of pain on SHAI’s face as CRONG drags him out the door.