Xander Says



"Spike's working for Adam!? After all we've done.... Nah. I can't even act surprised."

"Scuse me, comin' through, pardon me, 'scuse me, whoa! 'Scuse me, not sure how to stop! Please move, whoa, 'scuse me..."
Xander: Yeah. You know, I kinda had a problem with the math.
Willow: Uh, which part?
Xander: The math. Can you help me out tonight, pleeeease, be my study buddy?
Willow: Well, what's in it for me?
Xander: A shiny nickel!

"Man, Buffy! My whole life just flashed before my eyes! I gotta get me a life."

Willow: "That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?"
Giles: "Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out."
Xander:"A bitca?"

Xander: "Hey, I happen to be-
Spike: "A glorified bricklayer?"
Xander: "I'm also a swell bowler."
Anya: "Has his own shoes."
Spike: "The gods themselves do tremble."

Angel: "Buffy."
Buffy: "Angel."
Xander: "Xander."

"Check it out. The Watcher is back on the clock. And just when you were thinking career change, maybe becoming a... a looker or a... a seer."

Xander: "So where were you? Did you go to Belgium?"
Buffy: "Why would I go to Belgium?"
Xander: "I think the relevant question is why wouldn't you? Bel-gium!"

Spike: "Like I'd bite you, anyway."
Xander: "Oh, you would."
Spike: "Not bloody likely."
Xander: "I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist and delicious."
Spike: "All right, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat."
Xander: "And don't you forget it."

"It's time? Like, *time* time? With the... timeliness?"

Anya: "Great, so now what? We have to talk in some sort of anti-demon secret code?"
Xander: "Ood-gay idea-yay, An-yay."
Dawn: "Stop talking wrong in Pig Latin and drive! Buffy's in trouble!"

Xander: "So Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "I mean how'd the laying go last night. No, I don't mean that either."

"Oz does not eat people. Its more werewolf play. You know - I bat you around a little bit. Like a cat toy. I have harmless wolf fun. It is Oz's fault that, you know, side effect, people get cut to ribbons and maybe then he takes a little nibble and Im not helping am I?"