Willow Says



"Must be programmed to self-decrypt at a certain point. That is so annoying. It-it's like somebody blurting out the answer to a riddle just when you've... I mean, yippee! We have the information."

"I'll call Giles, tell him what happened. You call Buffy's mom, tell her, not what happened, just get her here."

Xander: "Why do I need to learn this?"
Willow: "'Cause otherwise you'll flunk math?"
Xander: "Explain the part where that's bad."
Willow: "You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?' We've been through this."

"Yeah, that's me. Reliable-Dog-Geyser Person."

Willow: What'd you do last night?
Buffy: Mm. Slept. I had weird dreams.
Xander: Dreams are meaningful.
Willow: Tsh! Tell me about it. The other night I dreamt that Xander... Uh, I-it wasn't Xander. I-in fact it wasn't me. It was a friend's dream, and she doesn't remember it.
Buffy: I bet she doesn't.

"I'm eating this now. It's not lunchtime, I don't even care."

Buffy: "I need you, Will. You're my big gun."
Willow: "I'm your - no, I-I was never a gun. Someone else should be the gun. I, I could be a, a cudgel. Or, or a pointy stick."

Buffy: "Oh, you're here with someone?"
Willow: "No, I'm just here. I thought Xander was gonna show up."
Buffy: "Oh, are you guys going out?"
Willow: "No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up."
Buffy: "How come?"
Willow: "He stole my Barbie...Oh, we were five."

Willow: "I-I-I don't actually date a whole lot... lately."
Buffy: "Why not?"
Willow: "Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away."

Willow: "Boy, we blend right in."
Xander: "In no way do we stick out like sore thumbs."
Willow: "Ok, but do they really stick out?"
Xander: "What?"
Willow: "Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, "wow, that baby is sore?"
Xander: "You have way too many thoughts."

Willow: "No, it's fine. I'm 'Old Reliable'."
Xander: "She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals."
Willow: "That's Old Faithful."
Xander: "Isn't that the dog that, that the guy had to shoot..."
Willow: "That's Old Yeller."
Buffy: "Xander, I beg you not to help me."

"I'm a blood-sucking fiend! Look at my outfit!"

Willow: "Oh, I, I need to sit down."
Buffy: "You are sitting down."
Willow: "Oh. Good for me."

"I sort of stumbled onto them when I accidentally decrypted the city council's security."

Willow: "I wish Buffy was here."
Buffy: "I'm here."
Willow: "I wish I had a million dollars."

Oz: You nervous?
Willow: "Only in a terrified way."

Tara: "You okay?"
Willow: "Besides terror about today and a general feeling of impending doom, swell."

Giles: "Why should someone want to harm Cordelia?"
Willow: "Maybe because they met her? Did I just say that?"

Oz: "You mean . . . you'd still . . .?"
Willow: "Well, I like you. You're nice, and you're funny and you don't smoke, and okay, werewolf, but that's not all the time. I mean, three days out of the month I'm not all that much fun to be around either."

Oz: "So, do you guys steal weapons from the army a lot?"
Willow: "Well, we don't have cable, so we have to make our own fun."

"I know--we could go to the Bronze, sneak in our own tea bags, and ask for hot water."

"I don't care if it is an orgy of death, there's still such a thing as a napkin."

"Have you ever noticed when he is mad but hes too English to say anything, he makes that weird 'cluck cluck' sound with his tongue?" (about Giles)

"I eat danger for breakfast"

Willow: "Magic wasn't all great. I won't miss the nosebleeds and the headaches and stuff."
Buffy: "There you go."
Willow: "Or keeping stinky yak cheese in my bra. Don't ask."