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Weekly BoneZ-BomB

-This is Dedicated to the life of Curt Hennig. R.I.P. Mr. Perfect 1958 - 2003-

**NOTICE**
The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of mine and mine alone. Therefore if there is anything you don't agree with or are offended by you can BLOW ME!

WELCOME! You are now reading what will probably my favorite Weekly Bonez-Bomb for two reasons. ONE I have a lot of updating to do & TWO I need to tell the BONEZ VS. SHOWTIME WHOLE STORY!-What you DIDN'T see in the show. I like writing this column a lot because you people can really get help from what I am trying to say. Don't take my insults the wrong the way because I am the PERFECT ONE at this game. Listen to me and you will only get better because I am the man that "pays your bills" so to speak. But with out further delay lets start the column with my trademark segment:

((((Allow me to warn you all something now as well, just because I rip on you doesn't mean I don't like you... this is my personal opinion and doesn't effect angles))))

-YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH

In this part of the show I go up and down the roster and what they are contributing to the company and in the end they go up against the greatest test, if they are A BITCH OR NOT A BITCH!

Shanghai Serpico - BITCH

"The Genocidal Angel" Periel - I thought I could trust this guy, we gave him a belt and he becomes a BITCH

Big Tony G. - Returned at a show then rarely rped and after he quit he acted like a BITCH

Alex Dunn - Debuts this show and lets see how he does after he has a show in him. NOT A BITCH

Xtreme Champion Virus - To the surprise of many Virus has the belt. All I have to say is congradulations to ya, Virus actually does things for the belt right now. The person who takes the belt of Virus is gonna be Virus's nemesis and I see a fude forming between him and newbie Alex Dunn.

Kid Hardcore - Little shit went off and got married. The problem is he didn't notify the staff and he was the Xtreme Champion. Now Brian Raver is kicked out of XCW and when the Kid comes back it is going to be a while before he gets trusted with anything big again. I predict Kid hardcore never comes out of retirement. BITCH

Pace One - XCW's gangsta. I think Pace is looking for the right fude to bring something out of him. If you wanna call someone out its Pace One

Kiss Keibler - Kiss impresses me WHEN she rps, but she seems distracted to be elsewhere in XCW. The onlything holding her back from being a bigger star is her. She's on the arm of the PRESIDENT damnit, use that to your advantage and be a somebody. BITCH

Shocker - When I finished this column I had already marked Shocker down as a bitch but you surprised me, you actually rped. Now Shocker COULD HAVE beaten JVC but didn't have the stuff to. I think hes working on a comeback but waiting until the last minute sunday night to rp doesn't bring you up any higher and because I already marked you a BITCH on my column you stay a BITCH!

Mania Supremacy Heavyweight Champion Titan - Was sick this week so didn't really rp... Titan craves one thing: GOLD. I predict he sees more of it in his future. Either way Titan didn't post an rp and that means at meltdown he's MY BITCH

Tag Team Champions Double Lightning - I'm sorry but what is not entertaining about two idiots. NOT BITCHES

Ikon - I never had a beef wit Ikon, he walked at Destruction. He was gone long before the death of SXE, made one last show and said his goodbyes classy. NOT A BITCH

Industrial Champion JVC - The best pick up of the new year. His match with Shocker was probably the best at Meltdown and really I don't have anything to say about JVC. He is coming up in the world but I am interested to see how far he is gonna take it. NOT A BITCH

"XCW'S Savior" should have revealed himself in his first match but I understand we are having trouble as far as him being ready to start rping. He has a good opener to work with, lets see where he takes it but ya have to rp, BITCH

Phil Macaluso - Didn't rp once during his last few weeks in XCW. BITCH

President Jeremy "RePenT" Clarkson - He's progressed so much. Repent fought twice in XCW against Shocker & against Showtime, both of them are gone(practically) and now Repent is married. The man doesn't lose. NOT A BITCH

Chris "Mr. Showtime Brooks - He thought he was too big for XCW. BITCH

Vice President Curtis "BONEZ" Schmitt - This has been one of my funnest runs with the character. Usually Bonez was on a team but he has been out for himself this time and taking over as Vice President I think I'm gonna do a lot with ya'll. DEFINATELY NOT A BITCH

World Heavyweight Champion Jesse "The Knight" Gunn - I'm not really sure where Jesse is going with his character right now, he brought in Annie is very protective of her but he really doesn't have any goals in the future. He has the belt now I wanna see what he does with it. Hes the champ and should have more air time. NOT A BITCH

Smitty - Dropped the belt with class and has really intense rps lately. NOT A BITCH

-BONEZ VS. SHOWTIME-

Alright everyone here goes. The Repent/Showtime fude wasn't just in the show both men had different views on what the future of XCW would be. Showtime would write segments and Repent would change it to fit Repents idea of what should happen. Showtime got sick of his stuff getting changed and started complaining and even walked off several times. Showtime really liked his stuff it wasn't XCW material and the person that decides that is Repent and Showtime hated it. I started an attack on Showtime in the show and he didn't react. In fact every time I would do something he would do less and less. Now we coudldn't just kill the angle because that would be a few weeks wasted. Showtime wanted to just get out of the federation but he wanted to last long enough to become a memember of the hall of fame. Now in Mr. Showtimes time in XCW 2000 he is no doubt one of if not the best man to hold the belt. Yes perhaps he may deserve a spot in the hall of fame, WRONG! For the last 2 weeks Showtime didn't even lend a hand on results and really he was a problem on the show. As we all have come to find out he was also Phil Macaluso and for almost the last month he refused to rp at Macaluso. Now one of the top guys in the company was just working against everyone else and in this industry someone bigger always comes along and SCREWS YOU. That what I did, I can't lie. I screwed Mr. Showtime but he deserved it so bad, he was just ignoring everything and was only willing to do things his way so I burned him and I burned him bad. In the real version of Showtimes hall of fame ceremony he wanted to invite Ikon, Macaluso, & Smitty down to the ring with him. Showtime was gonna burn Ikons contract, burn Macaluso, and burn his own. That's not all, then he wanted to name Macaluso as Vice President and Phil would stop wrestling. Wait, theres more. Showtime and sXe jumped Smitty and it was not a heel turn it went along fine with the fans. As if that wasn't bad enough he also beat up Repent like he wasn't gonna see it coming. After all of this they fire me.... SCREW YOU! The quotes from the Destruction show from Macaluso, Showtime, & Ikon are Showtimes real goodbye speech except me and Repent didn't have any of his bullshit, Showtime was fired in one of the greatest angles not in just XCW but ANYWHERE! Showtime packed up his things and is gone... and while I still hope he gets over HIMSELF to get in the ring with me I have a feeling hes gone for good and has too much pride to ever step up with me. Let him be like that, 1,2,3 HE'S DONE!

-HIGHLIGHTS-

ROLEPLAYER OF THE WEEK: -Jason Van Clief-
He put out more rps than anyone else this week and he also got one of the biggest pushes. I have a question for everyone watching, do ya see a coincidence? I'm sorry but one of the biggest beefs I have with guys like Kiss Keibler and Shocker is that they rarely rp but still look to see their name on the show. When you rp you see yourself on the show more and you get the Bonez-Bomb award.

ROLEPLAY OF THE WEEK: -..When We Ride On Our Enemies..- by S-M-T-T-Y
Smittys rp are an original style like no one else in XCW right now... they are always some of the best. This one is less like an rp and more a lont the lines of results. Smitty's rps live up a to a certain standard and when we wait for his rp through the week it is the same thing as waiting for a Meltdown, his rps are that big. This one was great capuring a lot of elements of a what I like about Smitty and just overall stands out as the best rp to recent date. This is Smittys 3rd week with this award!

MATCH OF THE WEEK: -SUPREMACY HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH TITAN(c) vs. CURTIS "BONEZ" SCHMITT-

-AND-
-XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH SMITTY(c) vs. JESSE "THE KNIGHT" GUNN-
Two different shows but equally good matches. First we have the first Titan & Bonez encounter from three weeks ago at Meltdown. It is sorta like the 2nd half of the main event of XCW, and I can't deny that part of the reason for it being chosen is because of how well the match was written.. The World Title match between Jesse Gunn & Smitty was tied with it because I like I said earlier it is half of the main event. This match was at Destruction and while I feel each have was a show away the battles for the each title was one half. Smitty and Gunn had really enjoyable rps for this match and Jesse Gunn got the win but this war is far from over.

HIT OF THE WEEK: -SUPREMACY HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH TITAN(c) vs. CURTIS "BONEZ" SCHMITT-
Titan charges after Bonez. Bonez ducks a clothesline by Titan. Bonez kicks Titan in the midsection. Bonez grabs Titan by the head, then hooks the leg. Bonez lifts up Titan in a fishermans suplex.......Bonez backs over to the ropes and DROPS TITAN AND HE FALLS THROUGH THE BARBED WIRE TABLE!!!!!! Bonez drops to his knees, as Titan lands on the back of his shoulders through the barbed wire laced table. The barbed wire from the table covers the body of Titan, who looks lifeless outside the ring. Bonez slowly rolls out of the ring, wiping blood off of his forehead. He grabs a limb of Titan, then drags him out from the mess. Bonez grabs Titan under the arms, then lifts him on the apron and rolls him into the ring. Bonez climbs up on the apron, then in the ring, rolling Titan over on his back. Bonez hooks the leg, falling over him. The referee makes the pin. .................................................. 1 .................................... 2 ................................ 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bonez releases the leg, then rolls off of titan. The referee quickly grabs the Supremacy Heavyweight Championship, then hands it to Bonez, who goes up to his feet and holds up the belt, before falling back down to one knee. The crowd boos as Titan lays unconscious on his back.

RIB OF THE WEEK: -Double Lightning vs. Smitty-
As I said earlier nothing is funnier than 2 idiots. I mean lets face it Smitty got pushed in dog shit by these two because they were bored and that is Grade A entertainment in my book. With all the huge battles about whos tougher it really is good to get a match over something so amusing.

BITCH OF THE WEEK: -CHRIS "MR. SHOWTIME" BROOKS-
Who can deny me that I beat Showtime? Lets face it I whooped his ass in the ring, I showed the world he had a little pecker and just when he thought he was gonna be in the hall of fame I stole his job and put him through a table. Mr. Showtime got beat every way possible and it was me who did it. Oh yes Showtime is my bitch of the week!

-PREDICTIONS-

MAIN EVENT
Supremacy Heavyweight Title Steel Cage Match
Titan (c) vs. V.P. Curtis BONEZ Schmitt
Titans sick theres no easy way around it he fell off at an important match.. The last time I was writing this colum this was the exact same match that was in the main event but look what has happened in 3 weeks. Titan lost the belt then regained it the next week and now I am the V.P. settling things inside a steel cage. But time to make a decision: I PICK ME TO REGAIN THE BELT!

Non-Title: Jesse "The Knight" Gunn vs. Jason Van Clief
JVC really wanted an opportunity like this and now that he got it he doubled his efforts to keep the good stuff coming. I think that the Knight may have underestimated JVC because in the case of The World Champion vs. The Industrial Champion this week my pick goes to JVC!

Handicapped Match: Smitty vs. Double Lightning
Smitty beats Double Lightning plain and simple.

Xtreme Title Match
Virus (c) vs. Shocker
Virus vs. Shocker, a real dream match if you think about it. lol, good match with both men rping. I think Shocker may have taken the win this time with Virus, but will the victories last for Shocker? Bonez and Shocker were face to face at Meltdown and I made it very clear that Shocker has a future if he puts in effort and I wanna see more from him.P> 4-Way Elimination Tables Match
Kiss Kiebler vs. "XCW's Savior" ???? vs. Pace One vs. Alex Dunn
Probably the biggest show-opener ever. "XCW's Savior" is good but like I said he isn't ready for XCW yet. Now as far as Kiebler, Pace One, and Alex Dunn go they are three people I believe EACH could win the match. This week however Kiss has let me down again by not posting.. I don't know why she stays here if she isn't really committed. As for Pace One and Alex Dunn I think that it is a DUNN DEAL, eh?

Thankyou for joining me on another Bonez-Bomb. XCW's action is really picking up. I love how our main events are just so huge. The main event levels of XCW are top notch every week and I think the rest of the card is gonna start filling out more with names that you see more commonly than we have. I can't put one of these out every week guys but don't worry I won't stop forever. I will definately have another one before Mania Madness, maybe two. I hafta remind you guys that what I say in this does not affect the show in anyone and it is not mostly in character. But it is my opinions and I stick to my gut. Well this has been The Weekly Bonez-Bomb, YOU JUST GOT A TASTE OF PERFECTION!

FROM THE MIND OF CURTIS "BONEZ" SCHMITT
Pictures by Jason Christy
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