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Anti-Intellectualism & You
How to cope with life when you have no common sense
July 23, 2003 @ 8:34PM

  An alarming phenomenom is greatly overwhelming society: Idiocy is "cool." All around you can find the abundancy of the bouncy-haired cheerlearder specimin¹. Chances are, YOU'RE brain dead too! But not to worry; there's still a speckle of hope left. Follow this simple guide² and in minutes you will be on the road to getting a clue.

Step #1: Cranial Inventory
  Find out if you're a geniune idiot or simply an ignorant bastard craving attention.

To complete this test you'll need a live eel, a bath tub full of molassus, your grandmother's underwear and a 9 volt battery. The first step is to strip off all your clothes (except your granny undies) and submerge yourself in the bath of molassus. Now get the eel and carefully attach the battery to it's tongue. If it lights up, Congradulations! You've completed the test. If you haven't, just keep trying.

Step #2: Weeding out the Bad Seeds
  Now that you've tested, find out what it means.

If you've completed the test and are still alive, go chase after a dump truck. There's no hope for you; you are a complete and utter cretin. If you haven't completed the test than you fall into the "ignorant bastard" category. You are whom this guide is aimed for.

1 - No cheerleaders were harmed during the making of this guide.
2 - This system is not FDA approved, nor one of the many fine products endorsed by George Foreman.
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