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100 Ways you know you watch too much wrestling

This was found all over the 'net. The author is unknown.

1. You walk into church and high five people in the pews as you walk down the aisle.

2. You purposely blade yourself while shaving.

3. Every time you see an Elvis impersonator, you ask for his autograph and get upset when it's not signed "Honky Tonk Man"

4. You attack your friends from behind with a chair, and look around the room, waiting for crowd reaction.

5. You shake someone's hand, you pause, and hesitate, while looking around nervously.

6. You walk up to get your diploma, and the graduation song is playing, you turn to the audience and shout "Ooooooh Yeeeaaahhh!" and snap into a Slim Jim.

7. You won't come out of your room until your parent's play your theme on the stereo.

8. You Leapfrog over people while playing football, then turn around, and clothesline them.

9. Every time you go to church you wait for the priest to quote something from the Book of Austin.

10. Every time you leave a room you shout, "AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE, SON!"

11. Everytime you score in a game, you start doing crotch chops towards your opponent.

12. You want people to leave you alone, you feel up your chest, and deeply inhale.

13. Every time a teacher's pet passes by your desk, you mumble "Lousy Babyface," and stick your foot out to trip him.

14. Every time you walk past someone lying down, you feel the sudden urge to put them in a Sharpshooter.

15. Every time you come in contact with a roll of duct tape, you wrap it tightly around your wrist.

16. Your teacher gives you detention, you give them a Stone Cold Stunner and walk out of class, flashing your middle fingers.

17. You find yourself carrying a baseball bat, metal chair, and 2X4 wooden plank around with you everywhere you go.

18. You hold regularly scheduled matches with your stuffed animals, including a monthly PPV called "In Your Room."

19. You make a Championship Belt out of cardboard, aluminum foil, and glitter and then frequently model in front of a mirror wearing it.

20. You find yourself spending hours designing ring props to bring to school to use as this years science project.

21. You are constantly telling your brothers, sisters and/or friends to eat their vitamins and say their prayers and then they can be like you.

22. As soon as someone shakes your hand, you follow with a boot to their mid-section and immediately go for an Arm-Bar Submission Hold.

23. You are always getting in trouble for trying to put a Figure Four Leg Lock on your little brother and/or sister.

24. You rent a table at the mall for the weekend and hold an autograph session.

25. You challenge the school bully, telling him he can't beat you on his best or your worst day. This is answered by a solid punch in the nose and when all hell breaks loose, school officials rush in to break it up.

26. You took you mothers' wig mannequin and painted "HELP ME" backwards on its forehead and carry it every place you go.

27. You have to be rushed to the ER because you swallowed the green dye you were planning on spitting in a classmates face.

28. You tell your friends you are the neighborhood "Icon" and demand their respect. They all get pissed off at you and a feud erupts.

29. You have to pay to fix the top rail you broke off the wooden deck attempting a Frog Splash onto your little brother or sister.

30. You refer to your girlfriend as your valet.

31. You spend hours teaching your dog to do a moonsault off the top of his doghouse.

32. Every time your boss tells you not to present the proper corporate image, you call him "The dumbest SOB you have ever met," and hit him with a Stunner.

33. You wont enter a room until the lights go out and there is a fireworks display.

34. You switch schools swearing that the principal at your old one screwed you.

35. You ask you girl friend to get pumped up and master low blows.

36. You smash your mothers sewing dummy in the back with a folding chair.

37. You lay your little brother or sister on the kitchen table and do a 450 Splash off the refrigerator onto him and put him through the table.

38. You refuse to visit any family members unless you go in a lear jet and a stretch limo.

39. You want four weeks worth of video promos of you shown to anyone before you meet them for the first time.

40. You wear white face paint and a long black coat to school. You rush in and chase 15 of the meanest kids in school out of the school yard when you see them pushing three of your friends around.

41. If you really truly smell what the rock is cookin'.

42. You do your hair like Scotty 2 Hotty

43. You talk to your friends in third person (ala Rock)

44. If you can do the Worm perfectly.

45. You purposely invite 40 friends to a slumber party just so you can have a Royal Rumble of your own.

46. You ask everyone you know to call you a certain Wrestling name.(Ex. The great one/Olympic Hero)

47. Your school holds a talent show and you decide to enter and show some wrestling moves.

48. kill someone younger than you via Atomic Drop!!!

49. If you have a huge collection of Apter mags in your parent's basement.

50. If, as a kid, you made your Star Wars, G.I. Joe & X-Men figures wrestle each other instead of combat.

51. You know what a "mark" is, and what it means for a "face" to "turn heel" and then "do the job" for a "mid-carder".

52. If you post on a wrestling message board at work all day instead of actually working.

53. If you are addicted to www.wrestlecrap.com

54. You try to break the walls down

55. You are very paranoid, fearing that the mood is about to change

56. Instead of using 'S' and 'Ex' you write 'z' and 'X'

57. Your only replys are "Its true, its true" or "Indeed"

58. You watch shows that no one has ever heard of like New Millenium Wrestling

59. Your wardrobe only consists of spandex

60. If you think some one is behind you, you quickly run to a get-away car fearing you might lose the Hardcore title

61. Whenever your sister enters the room u chant SLUT SLUT!!!

62. U shave one of your eyebrows and draw a raised one in its place

63. every time you answer a friend's question u finish it with Ya Silly Bastard or ya Jackass(ala SCSA)

64.You attack your little brother the first time the phone rings and stop the second time it rings asking why u were DQed

65. You walk around school with a kazoo and your best firend sings, "Angle, Angle....."

66. When you get your school pic taken, you do a "5 Second Pose"

67. You talk like Taka and Funaki, with a friend saying the English words for you

68. Your teacher gives you a long assignment, and you start to chant, ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE......

69. You put your friend in the Tazzmission, to see if it works

70. You do a Swanton Bomb off the Jungle Gym.

71. You have the nickname of a wrestler

72. You own 8 wrestling video games

73. You set up a scene of a Royal Rumble with toys

74. You do moves to your pillow

75. You color your hair a different color of the rainbow each day and prance around like a pansy (ala Hardy Boyz/hardy boi too)

76. U wait outside to take out the RTC with a rifle (one of these days...one of these days...BAM! Bull is taking a dirt nap)

77. U believe that chairs are not meant to sit on

78. You killed your pet cat or dog by giving them a frog splash from your couch.

79. If you like Stone Cold's haircut.

80. You get "rowdy".

81. Every time you win checkers you claim your opponent was just another victim

82. Whenever you see someone on a ladder, you push the ladder down

83. You literally "Smackdown" your vote You give people wedgies in the interest of fairness

84. You are really the Whole F'n Show

85. If you named your pet after a wrestler (Rock, Rikishi, Kane)

86. You pay $60 to watch the same PPV twice

87. You want to be like Vince when you grow up

88. You actually liked Viscera

89. you jump off your roof like a retard supreme because you are a fat ugly bastard that no one likes

90. You have all the moves memorized

91. You use your G.I. Joe's as wrestling Figures

92. You use your Motocross Dolls as wrestling Figures

93. You own all the wrestling games

94. You haven't missed a wrestling show in 8 years

95. You know how to do all the wrestling moves

96. You recreate all the wrestling matches

97. You own all the wrestling movies

98. You own all the wrestling shirts

99. You have the complete set of WWF pillow fighters

100. You watch wrestling too much