Q: What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool? A: The same baby three weeks later.
Q: What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool? A: Floaties with a slashed baby.
---------- Q: What's red and sits in a highchair? A: A baby eating razor-blades.
---------- Q: What is red and white and squirms in the corner? A: Dead Baby playing with razor blades.
Q: What is red, white and green and sits in a corner? A: Same baby 3 weeks later.
Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Q: What's blue and sits in the corner? A1: Baby in a cellophane bag. A2: Dead Baby playing with saranwrap.
Q: What is green and sits in the corner? A: Same dead baby two weeks later!
---------- Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A1: Fill a glass with root beer, and add a scoop of ice cream and a scoop of dead baby. A2: One glass of Root Beer and two scoops of baby. (If on a diet use only one scoop) A3: Add 8 ounces of Coke-Cola with 2 scoops of dead baby. A4: Take your foot off its head.
Q: And where did you get these babies? A: Abortion Clinic.
Q: (At Abortion clinic) "Boy, what are these people doing? I can't get in because they block my way. I want my float!"
A: They are pro-life people. They don't like sweet stuffs.
---------- Q1: What's red and white and bubbles all over? Q2: What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window? Q3. What is brown and taps on a window? Q4: What's pink and red and bangs on the window ? Q5: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass? A: A baby in the microwave.
Q: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass every ten seconds? A: Dead baby in a carousel microwave! (works best if told while in a swivel chair)
---------- Q: What is charred black and smells really bad? A1: A baby chewing on an extension cord. A2: A baby in the fireplace.
---------- Q1: What is red and swings back and forth? Q2: What's pink and red and sways back and forth, back and forth...? Q3: What's red and hangs four feet off the floor? A: Dead baby on a meathook.
---------- Q: How do you know when an elephant has been in the baby carriage?
A: By the footprints on the baby's forehead! (damn elephants get into everything!)
Q: What do elephants use for ben-wa balls? A: Dead babies.
---------- Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.
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Q: What has 4 legs and one arm? A: A Doberman on a children's playground!
---------- Q: What is more fun than stapling dead babies to the wall? A: Pulling them off.
---------- Q1: What's red and white and goes 'round and 'round? Q2: What goes red white, red red, white white red...? Q3: What is pink and red and goes round and round? Q4: What's pink and with a flick of a switch turns red? Q5: What's red and chunky and travels, in a circle, at 190 mph ? A: A baby in a blender
Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first? A: So you can see the expression on its face!
Q1: How do you get 1000 dead babies in a phone booth? Q2: How do you get 10 dead babies into a tupperware bowl? A1: La' Machine! A2: Use a blender Q: How do you get it out? A1: With a straw! A2: Doritos
---------- Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a garbage can? A: Ten dead babies in a garbage can.
Q: What is worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage can? A: One dead baby in a ten garbage cans.
Q: What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid? A: A trashcan lid in a dead baby.
---------- Q: What do you do with 4 dead babies and a sheet of glass? A: Make a coffee table.
---------- Q: What is easier to unload, a truck full of Dead Babies or a truck full of bowling balls? A: Dead Babies, you can use a pitchfork
Q: What's the difference between a truck load of dead babies and a truck load of bricks? A: You can't use a pitchfork on bricks.
Q: What's the difference between a barrel of water and a barrel of babies? A: You can't shovel water with a pitchfork.
Q: How do you load 100 screaming babies onto a truck? A: A pitchfork.
Q: How do you unload a truck full of babies? A: With a pitchfork.
Q: Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork? A: So you can tell which ones are still alive.
Q: What's this? (hold arms out and shake them) A: A live one.
Q: How do you know when you hit a live one? A: The pitchfork shakes
Q: How do you find the live baby in a pile of dead ones? A: Jab 'em all with a pitchfork.
Q: What is worse than that? A: At the bottom of the pile, there was one trying to eat its way out
Q: What is worse than that? A: It made it
Q: What is worse than that? A: It went back for seconds!
---------- Q. Whats more fun that spinning a baby on clothes line? A. Stopping it with a shovel.
---------- Q: What is worse than running a baby over with a car? A: Getting it out of the tires.
---------- Q: How is a baby like a grape? A: They both give a little wine when you squish them.
---------- Q: What's small, red, and can't turn around in corridors? A: A baby with a javelin through its head.
Q. How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? A. Stick a javelin through it's head.
---------- Q: What does a dingo call a baby in a pram? A: Meals on wheels.
---------- Q: What is pink, and with the flick of a switch, goes black? A: A baby playing with a powerpoint.
---------- Q: What's black and furry and crawls across Western Australia? A: A baby covered in Funnel-Web spiders. ( PS. Funnel-Web Spiders are black and furry )
---------- Q: What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A: A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
---------- Q: What's red, sits in the front of mirror, and gets smaller and smaller? A: A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler. Q: Whats red and white and screams? A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
---------- Q: What's the proper gift for a dead baby? A: A dead puppy.
