Born in the bitter winter of 1520 to a tribe of brutish Norsemen, Gunzy came into this world a hulking giant among regular giants. Hurling objects being his main passion in life, Gunzy used his size and whale-like strength to gain a notorious reputation as a hurler of especially large objects. Whether they be round, oblong, or living versions of the vilest emotions, Gunzy could hurl them far and wide. Owing to his awesome propensity for chucking shit, Gunzy gained quite a reputation with the fair haired norsewomen who frequented his woods. Now let it be known that although Gunzy unabashedly accepted tributes of food and merriment from the opposite sex, he was at no time what can be termed a “juggler of the feminine form.” That is, Gunzy made a point not toy with females as he did with the hopes of the bears that he wrestled. These bears had no chance against Gunzy, and from the get go they would know this all to well. However, whilst wrestling Gunzy made a habit of mocking as if he had an eyelash in his vision orb, which is a matter to be taken none to likely when we consider that these lashes were wrought of the granite and steel of the earth’s core, forged by the mighty hammer of Thor. Whilst mocking thusly the bear would attempt to gain a one up on fair Gunzy. Gunzy of course would not have this, as he was an avid Mario player who greedily hoarded all the one ups to himself. Every hound that Gunzy ever had he employed in the usage of hunting bears, with the exception of one hound who looked especially like a bear and was named bear. In the case of this hound, Gunzy thought it innappropriate to employ it in the hunting of bears, lest its spirit animal prove to be a bear. Gunzy’s spirit animal is the mighty sperm whale. So Gunzy has advanced through the centuries, throwing things, wrestling bears, being considerate of women and the names of his hounds. We must note that although bred among fierce warriors, Gunzy has never in his life formed or even used his fist. This fact is called into question by whether clutching a switch blade or collapsing a rival’s trachea with bare hands constitutes a true fist. We posit that it does not.