----
Get away from me
Your pathetic words dont mean crap
You don't understand me
And you'll never get it
It's all just a waste of my time
I'm not going to sit here and listen to you
----
Seventh circle rounded,
My brain wont stop
And at the gnarled core
The truth is I want you back.
Window opened, chill untame,
Green pill, brown desk
Will I ever change?
Gifts given, muzzeled dreams,
Ambered sight
For a sec, it's all it seems.
----
You are there.
Stuborn as an ass,
Refusing to move.
I hurt you the best way I know how:
Straight through your heart
I thrust my words.
But this does not agitate you.
My intent is known all too well
And we suffer this aguished fate just the same.
Yet you still don't leave me here,
As many before have done.
----
Bleakly Suicidal
I saw the world
I ralphed at its sight
Through hate and anger
You did nothing to cause it
But it's all of your fault.
I hate you and I hate the world
I've been shoved and torn towards the edge
And finally I've fallen.
Plummeted away from this world.
Now I'm weightless.
Jagged rocks rapidly approaching.
Where are you to save me this time?
You always save me, always.
But this time, its different.
It 'twas you who made the final push.
You who ripped the ground beneath my feet.
You, who gave me the knife,
With a word of encouragement.
Blood pulsating though my head,
I shake with agile fear.
No emotion within grasp
I only wish to collapse and hide.
Struggling for every breath I take
I am stuck in this rut
Struck with cursed immortality.
----
Silence of the Unspoken Denial
I stood there, I did not cry.
With thoughts of wonder
I now exclaim
'It's not suposto be this way.'
He talked of stuff that once was.
I hold back the words of my thoughts
For if spoken, would make things...
Complexed.
It is simple now.
Nothing said, nothing felt.
But words between us are not needed.
I understand his every thought.
And the unspoken that I listen to
Be humbles the words
That I could never say.
A quiver in my breath
Lets him know all I'm hiding
Just like the cough in his shows me.
Then the pure blisful agony
Forces me to hang up,
As tears flow down my cheek.
----
Defiance
I'm screaming,
Yelling louder than you ever could.
My vision blurred with tears
While my body shakes uncontrollably.
Emotions pound in my head
And I speak of my pure pain.
I have suffered for long
With a brave face
I finally break my silence
And stand up against you.
You try to yell back
But it's useless
For I say the cold truth.
Shocked and amazed you are.
Never once believing
I would ever defy you.
But I have to, I must.
I won't let you give up.
I won't let you die.
----
Tomorrow
Last night I went to bed; feelings angry.
I woke up, didn't think of the dark fright.
Went on with life, pretended things were right.
But my inner rage grew to be hungry.
The seemingly grey day slowly progressed,
Unusually it appeared so great.
But Karma held on to my simple fate
Kept me longing it to be layed to rest.
All the months problems, solved within a day.
With the craving still fresh on my tongue,
I bit off something that painfully stung.
And with that last taste, 'twas my death today.
Emotions may be easy to submerse
But will faithfully re-emerge thrice worse.
----
Pupetteer
I don't need him.
Hell I don't need you
But I'm inside that head and I'm lost.
Lesson learned:
Don't fuck with a mind.
Stupid people,
Stupid games.
I get involved.
I get hurt.
I learn how they think.
I know how they feel
And when I'm through
They realize what they got
Treasuring the time they have.
Ha, but that will only happen
Only after they've hurt me more
Then they were to begin with.
Dammit.
Oh well.
That's fucking with em,
It works for me.
----
I succeeded in what I set out to do.
But my success is not what I'd thought it'd be
Your happyness is all I'm able to see
Blinded by it I attempt to sheild my eyes
And yet it penatrates through everything I try.
I yearn for the blackness of solitude
Even when I'm alone.
I can not avoid myself
I can not halt thoughts of you
I can not have you
----
I did what I thought was right
Made my world dismal so yours would be bright
I made you laugh and stopped your tears
But deep inside, grew my fears.
I made you think and have real hope
But our friendship weakened upon a rising slope.
I made your ashened skies clear of pain
But that I took in vain.
I made it too late for us both,
For I had made myself grow to loathe
----
Trees aproaching fast.
I see ahead of me
Narrowly missing a barracade.
Spinning madly;
In wild zig-zags,
Swerved round
But today I lost it.
In control I always am
The darkness blurs my vision
The darkness blurs my vision
In control I always am
But today I lost it.
Swerved round
In wild zig-zags,
Spinning madly;
Narrowly missing a barracade.
I see ahead of me
Trees aproaching fast.
----
Alright
I'm so utterly upset that I can no longer cry.
I just sit here,
Struggling to breathe.
It can't be right.
It must be a lie!
It has to!
There is no void!
I don't need this!
I can't take this!
I can't breathe!!
1..2..3..
I'm alright, I'm okay
I can cope
Or so I say.
Admitting you have a problem
Is the first step to recovery.
Well I still love him.
I still care.
Yet I know it's over.
He loves her
That picture is crystal clear.
Or at least clear as that bottle of vodka
Chasing down six Tylenol 3.
Wow, everythings so hilarious,
Just so damn funny to me.
I wish I could leave this place
And finally set myself free.
But I'm bound to myself,
Floating above on a chain.
It's not suposto be this way
But it still is.
And I'm starting to understand this life
And how it can change in an instance
As long as I never give up.
He loves her
And her is not me.
But that's alright
For we weren't meant to be.
----
400 degrees roasted my mind
Sterial thoughts
Soon to be damaged.
Sensuous grumbles arise
from the critics
Baked as fried salmon, inspired by the world
----
One side of the fone call
Tells all needed
But yet I still refuse to believe.
He has all my trust,
All my heart,
Or at least what's left of it.
Everything ever dreaded he owns.
He possesses them
Waiting for a mad revenge.
I can't stop him.
And in ways,
I don't want to.
Still, can it be?
Or shall I be left above
----
Not,
If you knew it's something serious
And you have to figure it out
As fast as you can,
Because you're loosing touch.
Who used to be, ur complete persona,
Is changing.
You can't get ur mind off of it.
Always there,
Burning a whole in the back of your head,
----
Have you ever looked someone,
That truely means something to you,
Square in the eye and told them
It's over?
And have you seen the pain on their face
Or felt it in their voice?
Pure agony runs through them,
And then you feel it;
What you've just done
And all the suffering that you just caused them.
It hits you like a semi,
You feel everything four times worse,
You regret it,
And wish you were dead.
----
Love, the purest of all,
Usually is bent and twisted,
And finishes off mentally raw.
We're used
We are abused
Yet right is mentally wrong
----
And that's it for now folks...