Random Boredom
School has now been in full swing for almost 2 weeks. Finally got all my marks back from last term. Totally effed up my inorganic chem course for no reason whatsoever. That class had the highest average and it was my lowest mark. Orgo was okay, but slipped through my fingers. Saved biology from the pits of hell, *whew*, because the midterm didn't cause any champagne-popping. Stats was okay too, given how boring it was, I'm surprised I even stayed awake during the studying and the exam itself. And analytical chem, for some reason, gave me my highest mark even though this is listed as one of the hardest chem courses in the anti-calendar. Sigh. I'm so lame.

The Lost + Alias tandem every Wednesday nights is a saviour. Alias seems to be back on track after the shaky premiere. It's comforting. I've missed it a lot.

A New Year, Supposedly
My calendar tells me it's a new year. It never feels like a new year though. And this new year's day was boring. It had to land on a Saturday, so you couldn't even go to a mall to buy stuff you don't need. Usually, people make resolutions on New Year's Eve to stop doing this, start doing that. I don't do it because 365 days later, you'll find yourself making the exact same resolutions. We're more predictable than we like to think.

School starts in 2 days and it's daunting. I'm daunted. Every course I'm taking looks promising enough to screw me over several times before the first midterms arrive. Such is life at uni. If you're not belittled or trampled upon or made to feel completely stupid, you can't really say you've experienced higher education.

I would put my wishes and hopes for this year in this space. But I don't see the point of disappointing myself on Dec. 31, 2005 when I see that I have accomplished none of these things. Disappointment just leads to excessive self-hating.

Good luck for the new year. We'll need it.

The Holidays 2004
Haven't written in awhile. Quite frankly, nothing much happened in December except for some cramming, some crap ass exams, and some 2 weeks of mindless consumerism.

Thank you all for the cool gifts. According to somebody's mom, I have good taste in jewellery. HAHAHHA. I guess I shop better when I'm alone. I don't feel like I have to ask for a second opinion or something.

Ocean's 12:Very cool. Except that I don't really get it. Who stole the Faberge egg when? So confused. And the Star movie critic wrote a pretty accurate review when he said that Soderbergh just could've made a European Ocean's 11 and everybody would've been happy. But he didn't. The plot got more complex by the minute so by the end, you're like "hmmm. Okay, giving up figuring this thing out." It was really funny though. I think I have to watch this one couple more times before I figure out what went on.

Phantom of the Opera:A lot of singing. The movie feels like a 2 hour music video. I guess the musical aspects of the movie covered up the lack of plot. Haha. I don't know why Andrew Lloyd Weber picked Joel Schumacher to make this thing. After all, Schumacher got credited with single-handedly ruining the Batman franchise. And the Phantom was miscast because that voice seriously cannot make opera sopranos fall in love with his O Mysteriousness.

Fight Club:Okay, this is an old one. But I don't think I would've understood it 5 years ago anyway. And I vaguely remember Fight Club was reviewed as a too-cool-for-Oscar movie. I love movies where Brad Pitt gets to look good AND do some acting on the side (i.e. Ocean's 11 and 12). The twist ending probably sounded lame on paper, but is better than anything that M. Night can come up with (i.e. The Village).

Vanity Fair:Booooring. The only thing worth noting in this movie was Jonathan Rhys Meyers with bed mess hair in a solider's costume.

Before Sunrise and Before Sunset:This is the one with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy meet on the train and just talk for the next 90 minutes while you sit there and watch. But their characters are so interesting, so unobnoxious that you can't help but really like them. I'm just glad I wasn't one of those people that watched Before Sunrise and had to wait 9 freaking years for the sequel. And the movie looks really unscripted, but apparently, every gesture, every line was on paper. It's impressive.

I went to Vaughn Mills on Boxing Day. It was okay, but you have to go right when it opens. It's not as big as I thought it was. But I scored 2 tops for $25 at H&M and a pea coat at that Designer Depot place. Boxing Day is mostly a hoax anyway. The stuff truly on sale is the stuff they couldn't get rid of during the year, and everything else is just an end-of-season sale. And I don't know why people love Guess so much. The pants are so unwearable. Every pair was labelled "low rise", "extra low rise" or "bikini". It was so discouraging.

The Quarter-Life Crisis
It seems a lot of people are depressed, pseudo-depressed, alienated, irritated, and all doom-y and gloomy about their future (or lack thereof). Not that there's anything wrong with that. Experiencing a quarter-life crisis will probably take the edge off your mid-life crisis anyway.

Maybe we've been living in a bubble for too long. High school consisted of nothing but socializing at lunch, hanging out at the mall, and sometimes studying for tests. Lines were drawn so clearly you knew what you would be doing everyday and who you would be doing it with.

Life? Not so much. It's a big battlefield where people with flexible loyalties are hailed as socially capable rather than nailed as traitors. Even worse, you have no battle plan and you have no idea what to do and you hate yourself for it.

But the fact is, people will never be satisfied with what they have and they'll keep searching for things they can't find. Then you'll ask why bother with anything then, if you'll never get what you want? I don't know. It's kinda like what Angel said in his St. Crispin's Day speech in the second last episode. If you worked so hard to bring down the Senior Partners, and they finally do come down, even just for one moment, it'll be enough. I think that's the kind of moment we're all chasing after.

The Gods Are Unhappy
I'm not really the superstitious type. But when George W. Bush gets re-elected on the same day that you fock up half your labs, somebody somewhere is telling you something.

I really can't believe Bush got elected. It's finally sinking in and it's just disappointing. I guess Jon Stewart will still have a job for the next 4 years. And the Bush-effigy factories will be doing brisk business.

The Charlie-centric ep on Lost: It was cool. The whole breaking out of the ground part/rebirth of Charlie as a new man was as metaphorical as TV shows can get. The only other show that does this is Nip/Tuck. And Jack getting trapped in the cave behind a bunch of rocks? It was like getting an Easter lesson. And I read this article somwhere that the show sounds like it was written by a bunch of philosophy grads who never got a job. A reasonable guess, that.

I also noticed that JJ likes naming one of his minor characters after something great. On Lost, it's John Locke. On Alias, it's Eric Weiss.

Must Listens:
1. Coldplay ~ For You (Chris Martin is the only guy that can fit the word 'circumnavigate' into song lyrics and not make it sound weird)
2. Matthew Good Band ~ Suburbia (Matthew Good is very underrated)
3. Our Lady Peace ~ Carnival (coolest chorus ever)

The Crack Between Two Dooms
It was literally about 30 seconds after finishing my midterms when I found out that the final exam schedule is already posted. Way to spoil the mood, man. Can't you people leave me alone?! And my exams span the entire exam period, leaving me with exactly zero extra days off.

It's also two days before the US election. On Tuesday, you'll find me parked in front of the TV from 10-11 pm watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents Election Night 2004: Prelude to a Recount. I'm laughing already.

Anyway, important to recap a few lessons that I've learned after 2.5 semesters of uni:

1) People who look dumb or who look like they don't have a clue to what's going on are the smartest people you'll ever meet.
2) People who act smart or try to sound smart are idiots.
3) With regards to career choices, you already know what kind of job you want. In fact, you've known since you were like 8 years old. And the biggest irony is that it has nothing to do with what you're studying.
4) People who talk a lot usually have nothing original nor interesting to say. They usually end up repeating what they just said or what other people around them just said.
5) People who don't talk a lot are the most unique people you'll ever meet.
6)Profs who make sense and can teach well will, on the exam, grab your brain, slash it to pieces, then rearrange it and claim that you've learned something.

Jennifer Garner Hype
Don't really have time to write anything. But I saw these online and this is basically what I have to wait another 3 months for. I hope it's worth it.

Alias Season 4. Notice the guy on the far left? He's JJ's friend-- he played the pilot that got flayed on the first ep of Lost.




I don't like the tag line. But coolest sword ever.

The Calm Before the Storm
You know what I'm talking about. It's that feeling right before a really big storm. The sky's crowded with grey clouds but the wind isn't howling, the rain isn't pelting, and all is quiet on the Western front. It's hard to describe. It must be some instinct leftover from our cavemen days.

It's like that right now at school. It's not too busy. Labs are just starting. Midterms aren't for another two weeks. But they're coming. And they're coming fast.

*cue creepy music from Lost*
It's a polar bear! That was a weird line. I'm unwilling to believe that there are Americans stupid enough to believe that polar bears live in the South Pacific. But I could be wrong. And there was this line in the second ep where Sayid was answering Hurley's question on whether he was Navy, or Army, or Air Force when he fought in the Gulf War version 1.0. Sayid answered "The Republican Guard". I bet there were a lot of people in the audience scratching their heads.

Lost is a pretty scary show. It's not scary as in things jump out at you scary. But it creeps the hell out of you. Primal fear must be the new fad. Look at all those Japanese horror flicks Hollywood is remaking.

Below: Matt Long from Jack and Bobby. He's cute. Good show too, considering it's from the WB. Note to WB execs: this doesn't redeem you from cancelling Angel. WTF were you thinking? Oh right, can't think if you were behind the door when they handed out brains.

My Mythlogical Form

You are Form 3, Unicorn: The Innocent. "And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to
go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice
given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went
inside and bled silver blood.. For her
misdeed, the world knew evil." Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve
(Christian) and Pandora (Greek). The Unicorn is associated with the concept of
innocence, the number 3, and the element of
water. Her sign is the twilight sun. As a member of Form 3, you are a curious
individual. You are drawn to new things and
become fascinated with ideas you've never come
in contact with before. Some people may say
you are too nosey, but it's only because you
like getting to the bottom of things and
solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to
have because they are inquisitive.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm innocent.. hahahahha. I guess it's kinda accurate.

Drowning in Others' Sorrows
What is it with people and starting school this year? Yeah, I know that school sucks shit and you hate your profs and your classes and everyone in your classes. But that's a pretty weak excuse for being in a constant state of emotion stupor and unhappiness; an absolute hatred for all your best qualities; and ceaseless evaluation of everything in your life that coulda, woulda, shoulda.

One year after graduation and we're all depressed as hell. Who would've thunk it? We started first year thinking we would still be keeping in touch with all our friends from high school. Heartwarming, but realistically impossible. People change. People's priorities change. It happens a lot, really. You get bumped off the invite list or you think that your friends were all brainwashed by creepy government scientists at Area 51 and it tears your heart in more ways that you could've imagined.

My fav line from Collateral: "Darwin. Shit happens. I Ching. Gotta ROLL with it." It's kinda lame. But it's true. You can't just re-live your childhood or your best days in high school over and over again just because it makes you feel great. Well, you can, but lying to yourself is so much worse than lying to others.

People who complain that no one cares about them or no one understands them is doing just that: complaining. It's not that they're categorically depressed or do they want sympathy. They just want the uncertainty to go away. I get that. But I don't think we can expect adulthood to be a crystal clear picture either.

In the end, this is just a desparate plea on my part to tell people to stop adding fuel to the effing bonfire. Is school not depressing enough for people that they have to go and deliberately overanalyze every thing that's wrong with their life and create their own depression?