Project D-Day
The D stands for Documentary.

Fahrenheit 9/11:It was definitely a good idea that George W. Bush didn't comment on this film directly. Otherwise he would've just created more ammo for Michael Moore to use. Speaking of MM, I'm glad he has a nice sense of humour. Imagine 2 hours of a really long explanation of Bush's familial ties to the Saudis and bin Laden family without any jabs. It would've been insufferable. Although Bush doesn't need much help to make us laugh. And what's with Bush giving a semi-press conference during his vacation, then asking the reporters to "Now, watch this drive"? And asking "Did anybody say nice shot"? And this guy runs the most powerful country on Earth? The American media is so skewered. It must be hell to live in that country to be pumped so full of fear of nonexistent terrorists and nonexistent weapons of mass destruction and nonexistent everything else. So the CBC is good for something after all.

Super Size Me:It's amateurish. And Morgan Spurlock isn't as funny as Michael Moore. But this guy had the guts to risk getting heart attacks and strokes. If MM made this movie, he would probably be undergoing a triple heart bypass surgery or something. The worst part was seeing him throw up. Then seeing what he threw up in the parking lot. But the evil McDonald's art was pretty neat.

Not part of Project D-Day, but still cool.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban:The cinematography is much better. And it's just classier overall. Good job, Alfonso. Although I do feel that HP's format is getting a little old. Every movie/book starts out with Harry getting a warning about someone out to kill him before he even gets to Hogwarts. Then at Hogwarts, Harry, Hermione, and Ron play Nancy Drew and find out what the hell's going on. Then comes the Quidditch match. A fight ensues in which Ron and Hermione are often in danger, but recover. And Harry finds out something about his parents and his shady past. The End. Other than that, the movie was really enjoyable. I think after reading GRRM, you expect more deaths, more changes in the characters other than puberty, and more conflict for the characters in general. But alas, this is still a kids book. Deaths don't go over well.

The Gods to Which We Have to Bend Our Knees
I hate looking for work. It's too annoying. It's gotten to the point where I had this dream the other night where I won the lottery. It wasn't even millions of dollars. It was just enough so that I never had to seriously look for work ever again.

They say gods cannot be made to do a mortal's work. I never realized how true this was until a Supervillain actually starts doing horribly mundane work for money. Granted, Supervillains are not real gods, but I think we can be considered demi-gods. Mind-numbing work in high doses is lethal and should be approached the same way mortals approach radioactive materials. Unfortunately, 99.9% of student jobs that are out there involve some kind of mandatory brain shutdown. Mortals find this easy to do, and they do it well enough to excel and find satisfaction from their mundane jobs. But for demi-gods who go from bouts of insanity to bouts of ingeniuity, it is too much to ask them to throw down their weapons, work complacently, and be happy about it. The other, sadder, side of this dichotomy is that demi-gods still have gods to whom they have to bow.

American Gods: This book had a better twist ending than "Neverwhere". AG started out pretty slow, I have to admit. Shadow and Wednesday spent so long visiting people and visiting weird places in America. But it all paid off in the end. The ode to Odin and Loki was pretty cool. The scam was ingenious. It was so believable. And Neil Gaiman's note at the end about how his editors had to pick out all his anglicisms was touching. It was proof that Gaiman had to cede ground to the Americans. He shouldn't have. It's not like the average American would understand the whole point of this book anyway.

The federal election is tomorrow. Die, Stephen Harper, die! And get rid of your ungrammatical slogan while you're at it.

Fahrenheit 9/11: this movie has been hyped to the heavens. But I still want to see it. If only to see proof of Bush's supposed neurological disorder.

The Mission
*pats myself on the back* Who could've thought the Bakka bookstore could be so hidden? Nestled among strip joints, fast food restaurants, and stores that sell a whole bunch of crap, the Bakka's own door doesn't even open onto the street.

As I mentioned, I got conned into going to the AGO's Whistler/Turner/Monet exhibit. I thought I would regret the $15 because galleries and museums are generally money-suckers. (Actually, the gift shop is the money-sucker). But I didn't regret it. Seeing a painting in real life is definitely much cooler than seeing a picture of it. I could've stared at the paintings the whole day.

I learned that artists do this funny thing of copying a "master's" painting or sketch in order to learn the strokes and such. For example, Whistler copied one of Turner's paintings to learn Turner's style of "unfinished" painting. Which later turned into Impressionism. It's strange because no writer would ever copy out Shakespeare to "learn" from the master. Another cool thing about Impressionism: you have to stand extremely far away from the painting in order to see it properly. You literally have to stand across the room. I tried looking at them closely to look at the real paint and the strokes. But it only makes you dizzy. How did Monet paint them, standing an arm's length away, without going blind? The guy didn't even have to wear glasses in his old age.

The book signing: Bakker is quite tall in person. Six feet at least. He seems nice. For some reason, fantasy authors don't look like authors. At all. Bakker looked like a uni student who majored in English, partied a lot, and now fronts a band with his buddies who also happen to be his drinking buddies. I know, his photo in the book suggests otherwise. But then GRRM's photo didn't make him out to be a chubby couch potato who wears Hawaiian shirts.

Even on a Saturday, the streets of our great city can be devoid of specimens. What does it take, man? I have to move to Montreal.

Project Fairy Tale
The Scam: Get 3 people into the movie theatre with 2 tickets and watch 3 movies for the price of one. Moneywise, this was a huge success. $6.50 for 3 movies is not bad when the average price at a more upscale multiplex is $10.

Movie #1, Van Helsing:You know it's a brainless, rock'em-sock'em movie when it stars Kate Beckinsale. This time, she sports curls and a Spanish/Italian accent that Transylvanians are known for. I wouldn't comment on the plot. I learned from philosophy class that you can't say a plot is bad unless it is a plot. Stephen Sommers basically wasted 2 hours of my life by making me watch evey monster that ever existed in fiction being implausibly thrown together and listen to his horrible dialogue and extremely loud soundtrack.

Movie #2, Shrek 2:This was really funny. Even funnier than the first one. Although I did miss Far'quaad. This was more of an adult cartoon than anything because all the adults laughed at the jokes and the kids just screamed. Things that stick out: Sir Justin; Shrek getting arrested COPS style; Prince Charming flipping his hair; Puss making his cute face to ward of guards.

Movie #3, The Day After Tomorow:The best part was where Americans were crossing the Rio Grande toward Mexico illegally. Then Mexico reopening the border and hosting the Americans because the Americans forgave their debt. It's really funny because in real life, in all likelihood, the Mexicans would gun down all the Americans like ants. And this was a strange movie because few disaster movies have such happy endings. Perhaps it kind of sends out the wrong message because it's like saying you don't have to do anything about global warming or greenhouse gases. Sooner or later, Earth will find a way to clean itself and all you have to do is to survive the semi-Ice Age thing. The movie's ultimate message would've been better if everyone died and Earth became a wasteland. Then we can add global climate change to the long list of things Americans are scared of. And maybe they would do something about it.

This is totally unrelated. But I read some online reviews about The Simpsons' "Bart-mangled Banner" episode. It's the one where Bart accidentally moons the American flag and the whole family gets put in jail. The reviews generally disliked the episode because it was the most unfunny episode of the season and all the jokes fell flat. Americans. They don't seem to get political satire at all. No wonder they find MadTV and SNL funny. It was pretty obvious what this episode was mocking and I laughed my head off.

The season finale of The Simpsons, the one where Lisa starts her own newspaper because Mr. Burns monopolized all the media outlets was pretty political as well. When Americans watched this episode, don't they feel that the events on the show seem a little too familiar? That's because they are happening in real life, you idiots! Free speech being oppressed....the writers on the show must be making all this up because this would never happen in the U.S.A. Right?