Project Fairy Tale
The Scam: Get 3 people into the movie theatre with 2 tickets and watch 3 movies for the price of one. Moneywise, this was a huge success. $6.50 for 3 movies is not bad when the average price at a more upscale multiplex is $10.

Movie #1, Van Helsing:You know it's a brainless, rock'em-sock'em movie when it stars Kate Beckinsale. This time, she sports curls and a Spanish/Italian accent that Transylvanians are known for. I wouldn't comment on the plot. I learned from philosophy class that you can't say a plot is bad unless it is a plot. Stephen Sommers basically wasted 2 hours of my life by making me watch evey monster that ever existed in fiction being implausibly thrown together and listen to his horrible dialogue and extremely loud soundtrack.

Movie #2, Shrek 2:This was really funny. Even funnier than the first one. Although I did miss Far'quaad. This was more of an adult cartoon than anything because all the adults laughed at the jokes and the kids just screamed. Things that stick out: Sir Justin; Shrek getting arrested COPS style; Prince Charming flipping his hair; Puss making his cute face to ward of guards.

Movie #3, The Day After Tomorow:The best part was where Americans were crossing the Rio Grande toward Mexico illegally. Then Mexico reopening the border and hosting the Americans because the Americans forgave their debt. It's really funny because in real life, in all likelihood, the Mexicans would gun down all the Americans like ants. And this was a strange movie because few disaster movies have such happy endings. Perhaps it kind of sends out the wrong message because it's like saying you don't have to do anything about global warming or greenhouse gases. Sooner or later, Earth will find a way to clean itself and all you have to do is to survive the semi-Ice Age thing. The movie's ultimate message would've been better if everyone died and Earth became a wasteland. Then we can add global climate change to the long list of things Americans are scared of. And maybe they would do something about it.

This is totally unrelated. But I read some online reviews about The Simpsons' "Bart-mangled Banner" episode. It's the one where Bart accidentally moons the American flag and the whole family gets put in jail. The reviews generally disliked the episode because it was the most unfunny episode of the season and all the jokes fell flat. Americans. They don't seem to get political satire at all. No wonder they find MadTV and SNL funny. It was pretty obvious what this episode was mocking and I laughed my head off.

The season finale of The Simpsons, the one where Lisa starts her own newspaper because Mr. Burns monopolized all the media outlets was pretty political as well. When Americans watched this episode, don't they feel that the events on the show seem a little too familiar? That's because they are happening in real life, you idiots! Free speech being oppressed....the writers on the show must be making all this up because this would never happen in the U.S.A. Right?

The Smoke Clears
It's finally, finally sinking in. While Buffyverse will probably be resurrected in some form in the future, that future isn't here yet. In fact, that future probably won't be here for at least a season or two. Without the weekly Buffyverse fix, life seems a little more confusing if only because these shows reassured us that high school is indeed hell and corporations are indeed quite evil.

Why I'm Irked, Part I:The show, Dark Shadows, that was supposed to replace Angel on the WB didn't even make it onto the fall schedule even though episodes have been shot and screened. What will replace Angel on Wednesday nights now? 2 sitcoms--1 from Drew Carey, the other from Jeff Foxworthy. Ugh.

Why I'm Irked, Part II:Instead of creating Firefly, Joss should've created another Buffyverse franchise starring Faith, Spike, Andrew, and Lorne. I don't know how that would work, but all these characters deserve a show all to themselves. Then Buffyverse would still be alive and kicking ass because this show would've only been in its second or third season. Joss should've taken some cloning tips from 'CSI' or 'Law and Order'. Even though it's impossible to tell those franchises apart, with Joss at the helm, I'm sure all 3 shows could live in Buffyverse hamoniously and add to all the mythology in their own way. Buffyverse then would, of course, attract even more academic types and could ignite a Renaissance on American television.

Why I'm Irked, Part III:I read some rumours of the story arcs Joss supposedly came up with while he still thought Angel would get a season 6. Oz was supposed to come back and serve as a sort of mentor to Nina. Willow was planned to return as well. Illyria was going to be split into 2 entities so Illyria AND Fred could exist simultaneously. And after the fight with the dragon of Wolfram & Hart, the gang was supposed to spend several episodes in another dimension. No mention of puppets or secret demon societies, but it sounds spectacular.

Where do we go from here?

Angel 5.22 - Not Fade Away
Somehow, talking about the fight and inspiring the troops turned out to be more interesting than the actual fight itself. Somehow, all the themes inherent to Angel (redemption, being a champion...) weren't as well explored as in 'Power Play'. Somehow, this one last stand against the Senior Partners was nowhere near as defiant and middle-finger-in-your-face as the St. Crispin's Day speech suggested. Granted, the budget was obviously smaller and all the fights were half-baked. But still. One big fight would've been better than a lot of tiny ones. Angel's final hour wasn't his finest one.

Wesley's death: Okay, we share you pain Joss. So thanks for ripping out hearts out, putting it through the juicer, and serving it to us in a cocktail glass with a pink paper umbrella. This was just as heart-wretching as Fred's death. In Buffyverse, this death scene will go down as one of the most painful, but the one with the most mundane dialogue.

The Shanshu Prophecy: This pesky problem was taken care of within the first five minutes of the show. Angel will never Shanshu. In the scene where Angel was handing out all their assignments, I kept waiting for Angel to tell them about the Shansu going bust. That would've made some pretty heavy dialogue and not even Spike would've been insolent about it. The most powerful message of this episode was to keep on fighting even though you're fighting a loser's fight and the very thing you're fighting for was taken away from you. You may have to find a new reason to fight and sometimes, you'll have no idea why you're fighting. But you do it anyway. Yet Angel talks about the Shanshu bust with Harmony (the one rightfully left out of the secret plan). It's fitting in the way that Harmony's the only vampire around with no soul. But dramatically, the entire dialogue meant a whole lot less. Even though Spike will probably Shanshu now, all the drama that came with the prophecy and the Angel vs. Spike tension was effectively lost.

Lorne: His fate is just screaming spin-off. It was nice to see him sing again. We just haven't heard enough of him this season. I can't believe he killed Lindsey. Lorne! A killer! The indignity of Lindsey's death! And Lindsey actually fell for the fool's errand!

Best bits:Angel going "Someone's going to betray me" and Spike is the first to raise his hand. Angel picks Wes but Spike goes "But can I deny you three times?"; Spike going "No amulets, brooches, bracelets, necklaces. No pens or rings."; Spike's poetry finally finding its audience; Illyria experiencing some humanity; Angel going "Okay, Eve, time to get out of the garden."; Lindsey going "You are a bit speechy."; the evil, too-busy-to-fight-her-own-fight politician getting it right between the eyes from Gunn; Angel spiking the Archduke's drink was, again, clever (Honestly, Angel gained about 100 IQ points in the last two days).

Line-Manglers: Spike, Wes, Lorne, Lindsey, and Illyria were fine. Those most guilty are Gunn and Angel. Misplacing your acting chops in the final episode is just inexcusable. Especially if you deliver a brilliant pep talk in the episode before. Gunn's dialogue with Anne was supposed to be a lot heavy than his wooden face and flat voice made it out to be; Angel's line "People who never cared about anything will never understand people who do." was supposed to sound a little more audacious and menacing. Angel always had more chemistry with the Fang Gang but never newbies like Eve or Hamilton.

The Ending: Cliffhangers are a bitch. This was a semi-cliffhanger though. If Joss really wanted to have us begging and screaming for more, he would've left out all the monsters in the alley and made the surviving Fang Gang stare open-mouthed into the camera with Angel going "Let's get to work". Then we would've been all "What the hell did they see?" (They did something like this on Alias. The suspense just doesn't fade no matter now many times you watch it.) The choice of location was perfect though. The dark, narrow alley was where we first met Angel back on BTVS.

In the end, television execs can kick us out of Buffyverse. But they'll never take the Buffyverse out of us. Yes, it got sucked into the black hole. But that won't stop people from talking about it. It's hard to let go, man. It's hard to let go. There are certain shows right now with bachelors, bachelorettes, annoying back-stabbers, pointless obstacle courses, stupid people, and pseudo-musicians that have all put their big, heavy feet onto the throat of Quality TV and watch it slowly shuffle off this mortal coil. It's grievous and a feeling that not even a morphine IV could counter. Just as Illyria wonders if her fate in a lower plane of existence is better than death, Buffyverse had no choice but to dig its own grave and jump in. This inferior plane of existence in which Buffyverse quietly lived out its last days is unworthy of the glory Buffyverse has to offer, and sadly, it may never be.

The Nameday Entry
This is completely lame and cheesy and is grossly uncharacteristic of a Supervillain. But 1 day out of 365, this can be excused.

Plans: none. Relax, there wasn't any party that you should've been invited to. Still reeling from last night's Angel. Will probably go to buffet with the parental units.

Turns: legal drinking age today.

People celebrating besides me: Harvey Kietel, Dennis Rodman, Stevie Wonder. An interesting selection of people.

Pipe dreams: create cult TV shows/movies for a living; pass a law that would make all hip-hop, reggae, rap, and reality shows illegal; turn Joan into an athiest; turn UTSC into a campus that's beautiful (that includes kidnapping specimens from St.G and transplanting them); have at least one of my projects be a success by graduation.

What happened this time last year: It was like one week before Formal, if I recall correctly. People who were my 'friends' didn't acknowledge this day until May 14th or 15th. I was offered no excuses nor apologies. So I still don't know whether it was done on purpose and I still don't know whether I'm pissed or not.

Angel 5.21 - Power Play
David Fury wrote this one. You can tell because it's a perfectly magnificent episode with a perfectly unmagnificent title. ('You're Welcome' was the other one). Just when the scab was building over the wound inflicted by the news of cancellation, this episode goes and tears the scab apart. Left behind is a bigger scar and more blood and more infection.

This was one riveting hour of TV. My house could've been on fire and I wouldn't know. For the first time this season, Angel was interesting because we all thought he was on the verge of becoming Angelus. But as he insisted to the Archduke, it's still Angel. In that schmooze scene after Angel's initiation, there was a nice recap of all the villains introduced in s.5. They'll probably stick around long enough to die next episode.

The whole theme of power. The Senior Partners have it. Angel and his Fang Gang don't. And Angel is doing an Alias thing by infiltrating the Circle of the Black Thorn so he can go in and destroy them all. Before we knew what Angel was really up to, he was pretty convincing when he was pretending to be all evil. All that stuff about absolute power and good and evil don't matter when power is at stake...you don't get that outside of Buffyverse.

Funniest parts: Illyria and Drogyn playing video games. Illyria says "This task is pointless and annoys me. Yet I feel compelled to play..."

The St. Crispin's Day speech was solid, considering the guy who read the entire thing is known more for his furrowed brow and wooden expressions. That red thing Angel flashed was like.."where did he get that thing? That's so cool!" The part where Angel says heroes don't just accept the world and they must fight it, then outlining his plan for a major battle to bring the wheels of evil to a grinding halt, even for a second, was just the best 5 minutes of TV this season. The Senior Partners will always exist, but Angel is determined to show them they'll not always be the boss. The glory may be short and there will be casualties. But it's something worth fighting for. And it's something worth dying for. Besides, a St. Crispin's Day speech directed to a select group of guerilla fighters who actually understand the stakes of this crusade is more inspiring than one directed to a whole lot of loud, annoying Potentials.

Angel sending that message to Wes via that book? Who knew he could be so clever?

Sounds like the writers are still peeved: all those not-so-subtle references about taking care of business, absolute power, not worrying about the small things bit, and evil politicians with vampiric spin doctors.

Looks like that spoiler bullet I was unable to dodge was right. It was pretty clear from this episode who will be carnage in the finale.

Angel 5.20 - The Girl in Question
Oh hello, gentle readers. This week's quipful episode more than made up for last week's mostly quipless one. The Apocalypse hasn't been mentioned for awhile now and this Buffy-centric episode doesn't really contribute to the pending apocalypse other than introduce The Immortal. And what about The Immortal? If he's so charimg and handsome, I want to see what he looks like.

Funniest parts (there were many):
-Spike in black and white 1950's Italy with Dru. "Ciao. Ciao. Ciao.."
-Spike: "How do you say Wank Off in Italian?"
-at Buffy's apartment, Spike and Angel try to squeeze through the door at the same time. Of course, Angel, fat as he is, ends up going through first.
-the entire scene where Spike and Angel try to figure out what happened to Darla. Best line of the night was Spike's "Son! Of! A! Bitch!" after he finds out The Immortal also slept with Dru
-in the night club, Spike and Angel fight slow motion to Italian music and end up throwing a couple of punches at each other
-the Italian CEO of W&H spitting at the gypsies.
-Angel: "Don't you guys have an Italian Wesley here?"
-Spike gets weepy over his jacket and gets a replica while Angel gets an Italian pimp jacket
-Spike and Angel needing helicopters, assault teams, and lots and lots of guns for the head exchange
-at the drop off point, Spike and Angel argue over who saved the world more. And both of them refuse to pick up the suitcase with the money even after the Italian guy says "Give us the money, we give you the head" like three times.
-Angel: "I?ve got to wait for her.. for her to finish baking ... in the meanwhile the Immortal?s eating cookie dough."
-Angel clearly not knowing what a strada was.
-the moped chase scene was too funny. -Spike: "Every time he shows up, I either get my girl stolen, beaten by an angry mob, or thrown in jail for tax evasion."

We only see Lorne for like 3 seconds in this episode. I wish he'd gone to Italy as well. It would've been even funnier. Gunn was back to his useless self. But Illyria turning back into Fred (complete with the slight Texan accent) was just freaky. Wes is torn up over Fred already. Illyria just kind of put him through the paper shredder again and again by looking and acting like Fred. Ouch. But Illyria was right about one thing: it was more convenient for the Burkles. How do you explain to those nice folks that their only daughter is still walking around looking exactly like Fred, but she's not actually there? Wouldn't have gone over well.

The latest incarnation of Andrew is disappointing. His bed head was cool though. Reminiscent of the old bumbling Andrew. Yes, he's grown up. Yes, he can speak Italian. Sort of. But Suave Andrew will never be as great as Nerdy Andrew. I miss him and his LOTR/Trekkie/comic book references already.

Wouldn't it have been more cool if the head was from Buffy instead of The Immortal? Hopefully The Immortal will become important later on because he got to distract Angel from The Apocalypse. Otherwise, this episode would've just been as "wait, do we need really to know this?" as the last one.

Angel 5.19 - Time Bomb
This episode was like Buffy 7.19 (Empty Places). It's the one where Buffy gets kicked out of her own house. It doesn't really serve much purpose other than exposition for the final episodes. We spent the whole hour finding out that Illyria's powers will be greatly reduced and Angel seems to be doing what the Senior Partners want him to do. Other than that, The Apocalypse is still AWOL.

Funniest parts: Wes in his office acting all obsessive over Illyria; Lorne going in cognito and struggling with the walkie-talkie; Marcus Hamilton to Angel "This is a business, not a Batcave"; Harmony asking if the demons would like coffee, tea, or organic colas. Okay, so this episode was stingy on the zingers and comedy.

More jabs at CEOs: Marcus Hamilton going "Think profits! Profits profits profits!" I wonder if The WB execs know that was directed at them. Probably not.

Gunn comes back to stacks of files on his desk. But he doesn't do much other than freak out over Amanada signing demon pacts. And Angel ends up helping the demons. Even Wes was weird because he's Illyria's only friend. Spike didn't do much either. This episode was strange.

Yes. I know this was a pitiful entry. But nothing in mind sticks out even though I watched the episode less than 24 hours ago. Illyria's powers are more controllable now. And the powers Wes sucked up through that gun may become important. Angel has something up his sleeve. Got it. Go team.

Angel 5.19 - Origin
This episode was kind of stand-alone considering there's supposed to be THE apocalypse. But it could be part of the bigger picture. I refuse to believe that the writers and Joss would be so crass with Angel's remaining episodes.

Despite the ambiguity and the shield thing, Connor probably got all his memories back. He didn't say anything to Angel, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know anything. In case all the pain, brooding, and awkwardness comes back. Besides, he goes to Stanford now. He doesn't need W&H or Angel to mess everything up.

Funniest parts: Connor lusting after Illyria and saying he had a thing for older women. Then Angel says that should've been fixed; Spike 'studying' Illyria and writing everything on his clipboard; Connor saying to Angel "So are you like 500 years old?" and "Do you make out with female vampires all the time like in Anne Rice novels?"; Wes saying that they're not being insolent towards Angel but Spike had to say "I am!"; Angel going "She ate a whole petri dish?"; Illyria saying Wes had frustration curling off of him, but Spike saying it was just scotch.

I don't know what the Origin is either. It doesn't seem to refer to anything, which is weird. Unless the Ultimate Drew was referring to the memories that Wes got back. And things will definitely be changed now. Only Wes knows everything. Gunn and Lorne are still in the dark. Speaking of Gunn, I'm glad he stood up to Marcus Hamilton. He probably had enough of W&H "propositions". And Marcus Hamilton's suit probably has a sheet of metal under it. Adam Baldwin looks so stiff in it. It's funny. But Vincent Kartheiser is probably the weirdest looking actor in Hollywood. He's not ugly. Just so, so weird. You can pick him out from a huge crowd a mile away. Maybe that's why he was cast as Angel's son.

Four episodes left. I think I'm going to cry.

Angel 5.17 - Underneath
Hey, new credit sequence. More Illyria, less Fred. And Harmony. Joss probably wanted to put her name in so she could call herself a regular. He did the same thing with Andy Hallett last year, by the way.

This was a surprisingly good episode, seeing as how it came from the women writers who previously screwed up. The best dialogue was between Illyria and Wes. Illyria's lines were very Shakespearian and well written. Amy Acker is finally getting more comfortable and more convincing reading those Illyrian lines. Too bad the dialogue didn't really lead to anywhere important. Everyone got all philosophical this episode. Which is fine because you don't get as much of it in BtVS.

Funniest parts: When Spike and Angel both scream at the sunlight when Gunn opens the door of the car; Spike going "There's fire hell. Ice hell. Well, ice hell.."; Illyria complaining that Wes drinks all the time and makes that noise through his nose; Spike commenting that "Well didn't see that coming" after Marcus Hamilton dramatically pulls out his pen; and the beginning where Spike comes in with the briefcase and cracks open a beer.

The part where Gunn, Spike, and Angel confront Lindsey in his suburban hell smacks of The Matrix. Very blue pill, red pill. Only Lindsey didn't get to choose and he got the red pill shoved down his throat. And the gunfight was SO cool. Everyone just pulled out a machine gun, even the kid, and started shooting. It was well choreographed. Gunn sacrificed himself. He has character, man. I have newround respect for him. But he'll probably be saved in the next episode. Wait, that means Connor's coming back. *shudder*

Angel is television that thinks. And makes its audience think. No wonder it's so unpopular among the masses.

The Fall of "Wonderfalls"
It happened sooner than I thought it would. I was prepared though. This was a pinch compared to the news of the Angel cancellation. That was just like multiple stakes in the old ticker. I remember seeing the first episode, "Wax Lion", and thinking: "This show is like Angel without the Shanshu-ing, brooding, or fancy stuntwork. The cast isn't phenomenal like Angel, but it's smart and it's funny. It's SO getting cancelled."

I hate it when I'm right.

What pisses me off is that Wonderfalls has more critical acclaim than any new show this season. But it sits on the shelf to debut in mid-season in the worst timeslot possible. While The O.C. will enjoy an elongated, never-ending, 27-episode season. Sure, Wonderfalls is being pitched to other networks like the WB and UPN. Like those asshole WB execs would touch it with a ten-foot pole. UPN might be the best chance, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

I feel sorry for Joss Whedon, Tim Minear, and David Greenwalt. By now, they must've formed a support group because all their shows have gone to hell faster than you can say "WB sucks shit".

Even the actors who do the voices for The Simpsons are on strike until they can get more money. They make something like $100 000 per episode already and they want $300 000. And they haven't done script-readings in 3 weeks or something so the next season may be compromised. Argh.

The only consolation is that Alias will have its season 4. I found out on the same day too: Wonderfalls gone, but Alias lives on. I know the people reading this don't watch Alias, but it's a decent show and has cult status. I guess if Alias was on the WB or something, it would also be cancelled because it supposedly runs over its budget a lot and the ratings aren't jaw-dropping. But at least ABC is desperate and Alias happens to be its only signature show. Thank goodness for despearte networks.

Remember those 2 books I bought in that used bookstore? The F. Scott Fitzgerald one, "The Pat Hobby Stories" is really good. It's about a screenwriter who slacks off like crazy and tries to beat the system and get paid for it. It's quite villainy.