Wittle Updates
New Coldplay single "Speed of Sound" May 23rd. Nothing will stop me from downloading the whole album that day.
New Coldplay album "X&Y" June 6th. Nothing will stop me from going to the music store that day.

I hate looking for work every summer. It's such a waste of my time, sending out resumés, arranging interviews, then not getting any jobs. It's this never ending cycle man.

Reading material: Still reading Phillip K. Dick's short stories. He doesn't have the greatest characters or style, but his ideas are very original. They always have a point, and some of the stories which centre on atomic warfare are eerily familiar.

So loving Wednesday nights. Especially when I come home from a midterm and I can gleefully turn on the TV to watch Alias. I downloaded some clips from s.1 and it's striking how much younger and innocent Vaughn looked back then. He was all mousy, kinda shy, always clean-shaven, and had these puppy dog eyes in addition to those fabulously tailored suits. Not that I'm complaining. I just can't believe I hadn't noticed the transformation before. Vaughn totally pulled a Wesley thing. I think Vaughn is more interesting now than he ever was. I hope the Syd/Vaughn ship keeps sailing too, but I have a feeling something will happen before the season is over. It's never smooth sailing.

Jarring Mishappenings
I had a rough week man. My grandma died. My dad is on jury duty. Orgo lab. Orgo midterm. WTF is going on.

I don't think my grandma dying was extremely sad. She was 92, wasn't in the best of health, and caught a bad case of pneumonia during my reading week. I don't think anyone could've done much to help her. What was sad, was the funeral. It's just so jarring seeing someone you know get stuffed into a coffin, knowing they would never get up again, then watching as their world gets separated from yours forever.

Re: existential crises. It'll pass when you come to terms with your own angst. It's like chicken pox. Everyone gets it, and the older you get it, the harder it is to go through it. But when it's over, you'll be more immune to it.

Seriously though, if you subscribe to the whole existential idea that, in the end, your life is meaningless and nothing matters, then isn't your angst about your life equally, if not more, meaningless?

Anyway, started reading Philip K. Dick's stories. He DOES write a different brand of sf. And I see why they can't really make successful movies out of his short stories, maybe except for "Blade Runner". They're so distilled that when you stretch it out into a 2 hour movie, it becomes all diluted and bland.

The Reading Week Entry
Reading Week. Yay. Except I have orgo to study for. So many reactions to remember. And I have 3 short philosophy essays to do. Haha. By short I mean, 2 pages each, double-spaced. And my prof is like "It's actually harder to write a short essay. You have to be concise. Simple. Clear. Clean." OMG sounds like a lab report.

I think the only thing worse than reading philosophy has to be writing about it. It is unbelievably confusing and hard to get your point across. Half the time you're wondering what the guy is saying, the other half you're wondering how not to plagarize, and sometimes in between, you're wondering what you have to say to answer the essay question.

Went to the mall on Saturday. Bought 2 pairs of shoes for $50 at Bata cuz it was their end of season sale. One pair was those skateboard sneakers that are like 10x more cushion-y than running shoes, one was a pair of those Mary-Jane ballet flat type. Kinda girly, I'll admit. But I think I need to dress my age more.

Went to Chapters today. They're having a sale, so I bought 2 books for $20. It was like buying a Valentine's gift for myself. One is "Paycheck and Other Stories" by Philip Dick. It was only $5!!!! And brand new!!!!!! $5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even used books cost more. $5!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can see this will take me awhile to get over. It's totally worth it even if I don't like Philip Dick's stories. They seem to have interesting ideas, even if they plot holes big enough to jump through. Frankly, I'm curious to see what the big deal is about the guy.

The other one was The Original Sherlock Holmes Illustrated Edition for $15. Okay, that one was expensive in comparision, but it's hardcover and thick as a dictionary. Maybe reading week should end soon. Otherwise, I won't have any money left.

Other bookworm news: my 2 Christopher Pike books came just in time for reading week. Must finish reading them. So cool. And not the teeny-horror books either. I read his newest one called "Alosha" couple weeks ago. It was VERY btvs. It's about a girl who's chosen to be The One and with the help of her friends aka the "gang", close a portal separating mortals and immortals.

I remember it was a year ago they announced the cancellation of "Angel". *sniff sniff* At least I have "Lost" and "Alias" to fall back on. And there's something about watching those 2 shows that make me much less tolerant to slow-cooking TV. Like the other day, when I caught an ep of "Jack and Bobby", I couldn't stand it anymore and stopped watching after 15 mins because it felt like I'd already been watching the show for an hour. Even Matt Long wasn't good enough to keep my attention. The pace was just SO freaking slow. It's like NOTHING HAPPENS.

I know I post too many Jennifer Garner pics. But this one is too Asoiaf for you not to see:

Mind-Blowing Stuff
Just finished my environmental chemistry midterm. I’ve never been as lucky as I have this semester. The most stressful was this week where I had 2 midterms. That’s it. Then I have one next week, and one after reading week. But I got assignments in between that I have to finish.

Anyway, my philo class is pretty cool. Mind-blowing to say the least. The prof is really interesting and a genius. I heard he proved some theory that no one had ever proved before. And he enjoys lecturing and doesn’t seem to ever get tired of talking. The only bad thing about that class is that I don’t know anyone. Actually, I don’t even recognize anyone. Haha. They all must be arts majors or in 3rd or 4th year.

The readings are hard though. They’re so bloody dense. Like you kinda get what they’re saying. But at the same time you don’t. The stuff I’m reading now is from a book called “The Foundations of Arithmetic”. It’s 99% pure logic. So the prof starts talking about representations of numbers, directions of lines, sets, and theorems etc. And the whole class fell silent. It was funny.

And for people who may or may not be filled with angst at the moment, some philosophers think that metaphysical questions such as "What is love?, What is happiness?, Does God exist?, and Where is my soul?" are dumb. Simply because they can't be proven, and you can't even imagine what kind of evidence would solve the "problems" posed by these questions. So essentially, these questions have no answers because they are not legitimate questions to begin with. Interesting approach, I think, without resorting to more angsty existentialism.

I think Jack Nicholson playing the Sam character in “The Departed” is a good choice. How did they translate “Mo gan do” to “The Departed” anyway? But yeah, what’s Mark Wahlberg’s character?

I just noticed that from 10 feet away, it’s easy to mistake Mark Wahlberg for Matt Damon. Haha. And what’s with Leo. He seriously needs to play Andy Lau’s pretty boy character. Tony Leung’s character requires a lot of brooding and Matt Damon is much better at it.

I hope they translated the script okay. And I hope they don’t cast anyone annoying for the female characters.

For the record, this is my favourite Gartan pic ever.

Random Boredom
School has now been in full swing for almost 2 weeks. Finally got all my marks back from last term. Totally effed up my inorganic chem course for no reason whatsoever. That class had the highest average and it was my lowest mark. Orgo was okay, but slipped through my fingers. Saved biology from the pits of hell, *whew*, because the midterm didn't cause any champagne-popping. Stats was okay too, given how boring it was, I'm surprised I even stayed awake during the studying and the exam itself. And analytical chem, for some reason, gave me my highest mark even though this is listed as one of the hardest chem courses in the anti-calendar. Sigh. I'm so lame.

The Lost + Alias tandem every Wednesday nights is a saviour. Alias seems to be back on track after the shaky premiere. It's comforting. I've missed it a lot.

A New Year, Supposedly
My calendar tells me it's a new year. It never feels like a new year though. And this new year's day was boring. It had to land on a Saturday, so you couldn't even go to a mall to buy stuff you don't need. Usually, people make resolutions on New Year's Eve to stop doing this, start doing that. I don't do it because 365 days later, you'll find yourself making the exact same resolutions. We're more predictable than we like to think.

School starts in 2 days and it's daunting. I'm daunted. Every course I'm taking looks promising enough to screw me over several times before the first midterms arrive. Such is life at uni. If you're not belittled or trampled upon or made to feel completely stupid, you can't really say you've experienced higher education.

I would put my wishes and hopes for this year in this space. But I don't see the point of disappointing myself on Dec. 31, 2005 when I see that I have accomplished none of these things. Disappointment just leads to excessive self-hating.

Good luck for the new year. We'll need it.

The Holidays 2004
Haven't written in awhile. Quite frankly, nothing much happened in December except for some cramming, some crap ass exams, and some 2 weeks of mindless consumerism.

Thank you all for the cool gifts. According to somebody's mom, I have good taste in jewellery. HAHAHHA. I guess I shop better when I'm alone. I don't feel like I have to ask for a second opinion or something.

Ocean's 12:Very cool. Except that I don't really get it. Who stole the Fabergé egg when? So confused. And the Star movie critic wrote a pretty accurate review when he said that Soderbergh just could've made a European Ocean's 11 and everybody would've been happy. But he didn't. The plot got more complex by the minute so by the end, you're like "hmmm. Okay, giving up figuring this thing out." It was really funny though. I think I have to watch this one couple more times before I figure out what went on.

Phantom of the Opera:A lot of singing. The movie feels like a 2 hour music video. I guess the musical aspects of the movie covered up the lack of plot. Haha. I don't know why Andrew Lloyd Weber picked Joel Schumacher to make this thing. After all, Schumacher got credited with single-handedly ruining the Batman franchise. And the Phantom was miscast because that voice seriously cannot make opera sopranos fall in love with his O Mysteriousness.

Fight Club:Okay, this is an old one. But I don't think I would've understood it 5 years ago anyway. And I vaguely remember Fight Club was reviewed as a too-cool-for-Oscar movie. I love movies where Brad Pitt gets to look good AND do some acting on the side (i.e. Ocean's 11 and 12). The twist ending probably sounded lame on paper, but is better than anything that M. Night can come up with (i.e. The Village).

Vanity Fair:Booooring. The only thing worth noting in this movie was Jonathan Rhys Meyers with bed mess hair in a solider's costume.

Before Sunrise and Before Sunset:This is the one with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy meet on the train and just talk for the next 90 minutes while you sit there and watch. But their characters are so interesting, so unobnoxious that you can't help but really like them. I'm just glad I wasn't one of those people that watched Before Sunrise and had to wait 9 freaking years for the sequel. And the movie looks really unscripted, but apparently, every gesture, every line was on paper. It's impressive.

I went to Vaughn Mills on Boxing Day. It was okay, but you have to go right when it opens. It's not as big as I thought it was. But I scored 2 tops for $25 at H&M and a pea coat at that Designer Depot place. Boxing Day is mostly a hoax anyway. The stuff truly on sale is the stuff they couldn't get rid of during the year, and everything else is just an end-of-season sale. And I don't know why people love Guess so much. The pants are so unwearable. Every pair was labelled "low rise", "extra low rise" or "bikini". It was so discouraging.

The Quarter-Life Crisis
It seems a lot of people are depressed, pseudo-depressed, alienated, irritated, and all doom-y and gloomy about their future (or lack thereof). Not that there's anything wrong with that. Experiencing a quarter-life crisis will probably take the edge off your mid-life crisis anyway.

Maybe we've been living in a bubble for too long. High school consisted of nothing but socializing at lunch, hanging out at the mall, and sometimes studying for tests. Lines were drawn so clearly you knew what you would be doing everyday and who you would be doing it with.

Life? Not so much. It's a big battlefield where people with flexible loyalties are hailed as socially capable rather than nailed as traitors. Even worse, you have no battle plan and you have no idea what to do and you hate yourself for it.

But the fact is, people will never be satisfied with what they have and they'll keep searching for things they can't find. Then you'll ask why bother with anything then, if you'll never get what you want? I don't know. It's kinda like what Angel said in his St. Crispin's Day speech in the second last episode. If you worked so hard to bring down the Senior Partners, and they finally do come down, even just for one moment, it'll be enough. I think that's the kind of moment we're all chasing after.

The Gods Are Unhappy
I'm not really the superstitious type. But when George W. Bush gets re-elected on the same day that you fock up half your labs, somebody somewhere is telling you something.

I really can't believe Bush got elected. It's finally sinking in and it's just disappointing. I guess Jon Stewart will still have a job for the next 4 years. And the Bush-effigy factories will be doing brisk business.

The Charlie-centric ep on Lost: It was cool. The whole breaking out of the ground part/rebirth of Charlie as a new man was as metaphorical as TV shows can get. The only other show that does this is Nip/Tuck. And Jack getting trapped in the cave behind a bunch of rocks? It was like getting an Easter lesson. And I read this article somwhere that the show sounds like it was written by a bunch of philosophy grads who never got a job. A reasonable guess, that.

I also noticed that JJ likes naming one of his minor characters after something great. On Lost, it's John Locke. On Alias, it's Eric Weiss.

Must Listens:
1. Coldplay ~ For You (Chris Martin is the only guy that can fit the word 'circumnavigate' into song lyrics and not make it sound weird)
2. Matthew Good Band ~ Suburbia (Matthew Good is very underrated)
3. Our Lady Peace ~ Carnival (coolest chorus ever)

The Crack Between Two Dooms
It was literally about 30 seconds after finishing my midterms when I found out that the final exam schedule is already posted. Way to spoil the mood, man. Can't you people leave me alone?! And my exams span the entire exam period, leaving me with exactly zero extra days off.

It's also two days before the US election. On Tuesday, you'll find me parked in front of the TV from 10-11 pm watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents Election Night 2004: Prelude to a Recount. I'm laughing already.

Anyway, important to recap a few lessons that I've learned after 2.5 semesters of uni:

1) People who look dumb or who look like they don't have a clue to what's going on are the smartest people you'll ever meet.
2) People who act smart or try to sound smart are idiots.
3) With regards to career choices, you already know what kind of job you want. In fact, you've known since you were like 8 years old. And the biggest irony is that it has nothing to do with what you're studying.
4) People who talk a lot usually have nothing original nor interesting to say. They usually end up repeating what they just said or what other people around them just said.
5) People who don't talk a lot are the most unique people you'll ever meet.
6)Profs who make sense and can teach well will, on the exam, grab your brain, slash it to pieces, then rearrange it and claim that you've learned something.