These Are Whispers
28/02/10: So. I don't mean to sound emo but...
I fucking give up. Shit. I don't know why being in a four year relationship that I only really wanted to be in for one didn't tip me off.
Why would I expect this to work any differently? I'm done talking. I'm also done with relationships. I won't force them.
I vow to realize from here on that just because someone REALLY likes me right off, doesn't mean I REALLY like them, or that they honestly like me for any other reason deeper than my skin. Fuck that.
I'll take my time this time. When I find it again, I'll know right away. Because I won't have to say more than five words to him. If the connection isn't there automatically, I'm not wasting my time in pursuing it.
Maybe that's a bad idea, I might miss out. But I really think this time, I need to take some time, and just be by myself. Single isn't all that bad. Except I don't really embrace the whole being single as mingling and flirting and having nothing to tie me down. It's more like...I sit around, go to school, and work.
I just want someone on the same level as me to like me for me. Is that really so hard to find?
Apparently so. But it's worth the wait in the end. So now, I play the waiting game.
God, give me patience and resolve.
21/02/10:Hey. New stuff.
1. New homework layout for class with weird coding: check.
2. Great time last night: check.
3. Crazy late night chat last night: check.
4. Continuous useless blogging: check.
Leaving now. Ja ne, minna-san.
私は愛する、
常に愛しなさい。
私が直接言うべきなら
「… I愛」。
19/02/10:Hm...home work for web design is to make a new layout for one of our websites. Guess I'll do this one. Give her something interesting to read.
I can't wait to go to work. Money, money, moooney...MONAY~!
Oh. And to see that someone C=
それはあなたのために「私」死ぬことができるではないが、「私があなたのために」住んでいることをむしろ私は決定した
当然あなたとともに。
今度は、永久に、そして。
Oh noes D= I need to go get ready so I won't be late! ...I'm such a scatterbrain sometimes. But don't call me that! Cause sometimes it hurts my feelings. I guess it depends on the tone, really.
17/02/10: My friend's dad died this weekend...I feel horrible. Cause...what do you say to that? And it was totally random and out of nowhere for no reason at all. He wasn't on drugs, wasn't unhealthy, didn't have health problems...I feel so terrible. Like my heart is actually aching for Caryl. The funeral is tomorrow...And I don't think he's taking it too well.
I mean...not that anyone would, and yeah, it's a really big deal, but...I think he's taking it worse than he normally would? I dunno if that makes sense. It makes sense in my brain.
Kelsey, your brain is crazy and incomprehensible most of the time.
Ah~! o_o Who's that?!
...
Hello?
.......
Oh, they're gone...
Please...stop..talking. Dumbass.
EEP! >w<
14/02/10: All I have to say is...SCORE~!
This Valentine's day wasn't as shitty as I thought it'd be =]
Thanks Valentine~!
12/02/10: Um. Well I've been talking to someone a lot lately ^-^ It makes me happy even though I'm not totally sure what to say all the time. Sometimes I'm sure he looks at me like I'm a dork. Went to IHOP. That was fun =3 Lesse...that waaaas...Jordan (he's really nice and likes anime too! Whoo anime otaku~ yeah!), Lashley (he was moody...it was interesting. But really, it just irritated the shit outta me more than anything), Tommy (in his Tommy Pickles shirt, I might add :3 hehe he's so silly), and myself. No descrption for me. Oh, but wait! I had mac and cheese and fries and fruit~! It was sooooooooooooo good! I haven't had mac and cheese in F-O-R-E-V-E-R. And Tommy, the freakin' copy cat, had some too. Oh, but it's okay I guess...
But then we dropped off Jordan at a hotel party, and Lashley went all bipolar and was driving around and not paying any attention to us, so we left. It was a nice night out. You could see the stars. We even saw a shooting star! But I'm not tellin what I wished for ^-~
08/02/10: I have a chai tea latte right now =3 And I bought Baccano. And lots of new music. Not much going on right now, besides working on French, and a TV promo for TV Production. We're pardoying the Spartan cheerleaders from SNL. Should be fun, but we're running short on time. But that's how we do things. We procrastinate, then hurry the heck up and get things DONE~! *epic pose*
Anyway. Tomorrow is my day to go in late, and I have to give a speech. I think I will post a rant about it tomorrow after I give it, and share all the different possibilites I get as feedback. It's an ethics case, so =/ I'm sure there's SOMEONE bound to disagree with me ^-^; But that makes it interesting, and that's why I'm in Persuasion class, ne?
Anyway, I'm gonna go. Oh! Please go take a look at the cool little nifty thing I got today for my page! It's a little flag counter, that shows where the people that visit my page are from! I dunno, I just thought it was interesting ^_^ It's near the bottom *points down* Ja ne, minna-san!
28/01/10: Well today was interesting. I went to class even though it is pouring rain and sleeting. It is very cold! I mean, I know it gets colder in other parts of the states, let alone the world, but it is such a HUGE jump. Yesterday it was almost 75 >_> (Which when it's that warm this early in Texas, it only means terrible things for the summer...). Normally about now it's...about as cold as it is right now. Which is *looks outside* 22. January and February we usually get down in the teens. But anyway.
I tried this new drink today. It's caleld Izze. It's really good! Well...some of the flavors. I liked the Grapefruit and the Tangerine ones. But today I tried the Pommegranate one and it was...not so tasty. To me anyway. But this drink is really good for you! It's in a glass bottle, like Jones' soda is, and it's real juice mixed with sparkling water so it's fizzy =3 But the good thing about this juice is that it's REALLY got juice in it. It's got more juice in it than any of the juices they say are good for you, like you would find refridgerated at the store. It's got 70% juice, as opposed to 2% or whatever those juices tend to have. Yeah. THIS AIN'T NO POSER JUICE~!
I also went to Hastings today and bought some really cute things, as well as a new manga series. It's really good o_o I'm such a girl though. I'm really in the mood for Shoujo manga (girl's manga...like love stories and suchness). Ugh. I can't help it though! I think it's because I'm wishing for someone a lot and the love stories appeal to me ^_^
It's still sleeting and all, and even the air force base is on lock down for the night! Places all over the county are closing at five because it's suppose to be really bad weather tonight and tomorrow, but noooo, the Deli Planet (my place of employment) is still open. That is DUMB. Because A. nobody is going to want to get out in this. And B. 95% of our business is the airmen/women who come over from across the street. We're going to be dead. COMPLETELY...dead.
Speaking of dead...I came home and there was a body bag in my yard! D= Oh noes~! ...Not really XD Our bird bath had fallen over from so much water and ice, but when I pulled up, it looked like a body bag. Which also reminds me...I WANT TO WATCH BONES! I have the first and third seasons, but the second and the fourth are so much more than the first and third were! It's ridiculous. I've been waiting forever for them to go on sale too, but they are still a lot.
Oh well. For now, I need to go get ready and make the treachorous trip to the DP for absolutely no reason other than being sent home early because business is so slow. Maybe I will take my manga because I get the feeling classes at the college will be cancelled tomorrow and there is no need to rush on doing my homework...Ja ne, minna-san!
P.S.--- As an afterthought, my friend Kat today dressed up like Lulu from Final Fantasy, and we all went and tried to promote our Anime Club at the college's Campus Association Fair to recruit new members. We didn't really, although some people did come by and chat us up. But one girl who's been hanging around the usual corner with us came by today and I was bored so I tried to chat her up. She said I was uneccesarily bouncy and cute but she still liked me. She's always been a loner even though she's into all the same stuff we are. Even when she joined the club she'd sit in the corner and totally isolate herself. I mean COMPLETELY. Wouldn't even speak. So I was talking to her today. And she tends to wear a lot of grey and black (which there is nothing wrong with, I do too), but she ALWAYS has heavy black eyeliner and eyeshadow on her eyes and so I nicknamed her Tanuki-chan because she reminds me of a raccoon ^-^ And it sounds cuter and nicer than if I were to just called her Raccoon in English...XD But she didn't mind. She said it accentuated my cuteness and she actually said goodbye to me before I left for class. Maybe I'm making a new friend! =]]
Today, just got off work. It's still cold and rainy. Melanie and I had to do a bunch of BS stuff but it was okay. We were laughing pretty hard. She's kinda mad though, Andy =p And I'm not. Well...not really mad. There's stuff I thought in my mind that I didn't get to say to you and I want to say them in a stern voice like I'm scolding you, cause that's what I wanna do, but I can't be mad or upset. But just know I will probably never let you live this down XP It's what girls do.
EDIT 26/01/10: I am starting this site as a way to just sort of keep up with events in my life. And also kind of for someone else. We'll see how it goes. We've been talking more and more. 私に運を望みなさい
Simply yet another blog to add to the internet, I suppose. For those of you who came here expecting the old site, I still have all it's contents if you want to see it again, just e-mail me, and I would be more than happy to re-upload it.
I believe I may re-upload some elements from the old website, just for the sake of having easy access to them. But feel free to go take a look.
For now, just some lyrics to a song I'm listening to. Hopefully they will make a certain somebody understand C: ...That is if I ever get the balls to show him XD Really, it just reminds me of him. Cause yeah...it's nice to share with someone how you feel about them, but it's also nice to keep it all to yourself too. It feels like it's JUST yours. But at the same time it kinda sucks. Oh well. Maybe soon.
I want to know your plans and how involved in them I am. When you leave for good will I be forgiven? And If you want roses you can go buy a bouquet. If that just won't cut it, well what can I say? You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead, Strength in my bones put the words in my head. When they pour out to paper, it's all for you. 'Cause that's what you do. That's what you do. I want to know your fears, from your feet to the back of your ears and when they raise the landing gear will your heart stay here? If you could forgive me for being so brash, well you... you could hit me or whip me, I'd savor each lash. You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead, Strength in my bones put the words in my head. When they pour out to paper, it's all for you. 'Cause that's what you do.
---I Want To Know Your Plans; Say Anything
Contact
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