A rope walks into a bar (how it did is a mystery to me) and asks for a Roy Rogers. The bartender, grumpy old codger he is, states that the bar doesn't serve ropes. So the rope goes outside and asks a passer-by to tie him into a know and fray one of his ends.
The rope goes back inside and requests service once again. The bartender, irritated now, says, "I told you we don't serve ropes! Aren't you a rope?!"
To which the rope replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
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What kind of flowers were buried with King Tut?
Chrysanthemummies.
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Goethe was a poet who only wrote immediately after getting out of bed. So, one could say he went from bed to verse.
Confucius say:
Man who look like million dollars is green and wrinkled.
Men who live in glass houses should dress in basement.
Man who has bee in bonnet will have stinging scalp.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Hacky's Second Law: Any object of enjoyment, when given sufficient momentum to go on a roof (especially an inaccesible one), will.
"Why, I have half a mind--"
"Yes, I know you do."
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"Oh, I can't believe I just did that! I'm so stupid!" "Your words, not mine."
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More to come...