Troilus and Cressida IV.v

in SHakespeare:

Ulyss.  O, deadly gall, and theme of all our scorns!	36
For which we lose our heads to gild his horns.
Patr.  The first was Menelaus’ kiss; this, mine:
Patroclus kisses you.
Men.        O! this is trim.	40
Patr.  Paris and I, kiss evermore for him.
Men.  I’ll have my kiss, sir. Lady, by your leave.
Cres.  In kissing, do you render or receive?
Patr.  Both take and give.	44
Cres.        I’ll make my match to live,
The kiss you take is better than you give;
Therefore no kiss.

13 August 2003 04:29 EDT | Posted by dragon/heartless_angel
sadness
a moral life without love has a meaning
only to in flict love and kindness onto others
but never to leave any for one's self
she does good more for others
is this world about others or me?
a passion with a source of no heart
no love
but still there be passion
for those who love those who love others
there lye a unwanted broken heart
disappiontment
for there had been no true love behind mine eyes
just passion, just motavation
no love
there was and is no person so over flood by love
that did she do without knowing
atempt to inflict happiness to others



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13 August 2003 04:28 EDT | Posted by dragon/heartless_angel
hate
i hate you
i hate this world
the only thing that keeps me here
is the dream to make this place and the people in it better

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13 August 2003 04:27 EDT | Posted by dragon/heartless_angel
fate
i love
like i never loved anyone
ur my only one
and when the goes my way
and everything i want is at bay
i shall think of you
and still when i have the world
i will abandon it all to serch for you
and i'll wonder if you have strayed far from me throughout these years
or will u be there?
will, after our years together, be in the same place?
or will the mistakes of ur life,
your bad chioces,
murder you before i see you at your best
before i see you with me
forever

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30 September 2004 22:44 EDT | Posted by dragon/heartless_angel
warning me
i want to grow and live
but i need to stay and slowly rot
or i will surely die
if not that
a falsehood of happieness forever
i need someone
to tell me
its all just a nightmare
a dream
and bring me to their reality
where no one doubts
the character
of on person
and has fiath in all ppl
to just tell me that
none of my lies are real
that my friends r
honest, healthy, and happy
and that i make a difference
if not
then tell me
this life of mine doesn't matter
and nothing i do will change a thing
and i will hate you
and ignore u
while u warn me of
the steep hills to come
i roll along side
my beloved friends
hellping them in every way i can
becuz i do know
that if not a lot
i will make a difference

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6 June 2004 20:03 EDT | Posted by dragon/heartless_angel
looking through
the feelings fill your body
you want to wrap urself ur up
bzu you feel ur insides will spill if u don't
and theres no one to hold you close
i need something real
something to feel
so i try and hold my myself
put myself together
i put on a bravdo of happieness
when i want to die
i want someone to look at me
and maybe look to find
a little girl
who only wanted
to play with other little kids
i want some one to hold close
someone that might see a woman
a woman that want everyone
to be happy
and someone to make her happy
they never see?
or they never care?
bcuz i want them to be happy
but they don't care
they love me for who i am
but i am many things
most of which they might never see
i die as i watch my friends
helplessly fall into a pit
i will follow where ever wanted
but i never let them see
bcuz by the time they might notice
i will have been to far gone
already i am used to it
buried, no oxygen
i'm alreally dieing

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6 June 2004 19:45 EDT | Posted by dragon/heartless_angel
sometimes
sometime we wish
it could just disappear,
and then we could be all alone
with the vocies ringing
in our earz
shuting out the logic
and things
wouldn't be so confusing
then some of us
take a step back and see
the loneiness to come
we break and snap
and we hurt ourselves
but it doesn't help
bcuz it seems that
in the end
we're always alone
so we just wish it away
and we shut it out
so that it can disappear
bcuz it was
never there to start with



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15 April 2004 00:10 EDT | Posted by dragon/heartless_angel
the burn
and it starts
white, pure as rain
then a deep warmth of
red, passion enveloping the
grey of my heart
the confusion the doubts
consumed
spiraling swirls of
burning blues and green
a beauty unimaginable
redecorating everything
then the orange comes
a dancing memorizing light
a dim yellow, and your obsessed
with every inch of affection
then it fades away as all things do
once pure as white and without grey
now scorched, black, burned


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23 October 2003 23:16 EDT | Posted by dragon/heartless_angel
rage
rage fire hate
you look, you listen, discriminate


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31 August 2003 16:21 EDT | Posted by dragon/heartless_angel
alone
alone, everyday alone
i look around, alone
so i scream, i'm am alone
no one hears me
i have diappeared
been forgoten
unimportant
never to be glanced upon
am i not worthy
have i become a lost cause

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31 August 2003 04:24 EDT | Posted by dragon/heartless_angel
death
every day i die
in death i lye
all keeps dieing in me
the door to death i have no key
always dearting, never departed
will any living be started?
you can not save me i long for death
but i seem to keep inhaleing every breath

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17 August 2003 00:08 EDT | Posted by dragon/heartless_angel
human
i am the embodied spirit
of nothing
i have now realized that
i have become
the thing i despize most
human
the ignorence of my human beahvior
disgust me
my human behavior and accusations
have left me with hate for myself
i will close it out
i'm better then human
and i will not fall
but i love him
no no no
love is a foolish thought
made to be thought to be more


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16 August 2003 23:59 EDT | Posted by dragon/heartless_angel
you
it's too late
your too gone
i have yo no longer
for now i have relized
that i feel for you
realized it, it hit me
i have thought it and felt it before
but i was blinded by it's purity for a moment
but i see you agian
you need too change
but is that witch i fear to start
i love you for who you are and what you can be
but i could never be with the person you are
but i love you for how you are
what to do? what to do?
if your going to change the person i love
i'll only take it if you are changing yourself
without the influence of another

the days are moving
i am alone
empty empty
hollow, a shell
i wonder y i feel u
cutting, cutting
i fall, and wonder
why am i falling?
i feel nothing
uve push me but yet
i lay on the ground
untouched
walking, walikng
nothing in me
no reson, no goal
just walking
walking without u
myself
lost in an endless abyss
alone
lies surround me
a tingle
a lie
a weakness
in myself, lies
eating i eat
myself away
disapearing inch by inch
gone

i feel like i just miss him so much now, we kissed but he was drunk, i feel like horrible! we talked hella and it was important stuff that he should know and he should know i know =( i was in tears i feel so bad not as much bcuz he has a gf but cuz i dont know. i don't know i don't think i like him but even if i did i wouldn't want to go out with himi think it was right of me to brake up with him and i don't want to hurt him again and brake his heart and yeah i wouldn't be able to be ok with that at all

heres a list of all my other online journals and personal stuff like that. i trust you. https://www.angelfire.com/dragon/flightless_angel/stayaway/
https://www.angelfire.com/dragon/heartless_angel/feelings/
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=lil_flirtydrkside
http://www.xanga.com/private/home.aspx?user=all_bravado
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=lone_bravado

exisitance
now i lay here
thought to be hopelessly dead
but death seems more to a prize
then a consulation
i don't deserve death
i don't deserve life
so why does it torment me so
to say that someone out there
must say that i deserve you?
y do you fallow me?
everywhere?
i had done you no right or wrong?
i had never matter before
y is such a blessing, a curse?
what have i done???
i...i can't remember...

me
some people might say that i'm a very compilcated person, but thats what they think i understand myself well enough to predict myself. there r a lot of things i will never tell anyone like why i truelly do some of the things that i do. or why i really am the person i am now. i am person without limits, but for every inparticular point, there are prices. my thinking is nonaplicable, but my feelings r so clear!i mean i fully understand my thinking stratigies but with my feeling i don't need to understand they're just so smiply thoghtless. a picture may be worth a thousand words, but pure intellectual silence could never be compared to words.
it seems odd that such person as me could apear to be complicated. but seemed to be logical due to the fact that i find ur average human to perliminary. i don't seem to fit in, like i'm too far off in my own world yet my bravado seems to have it right. i may be confused as i want but some how i, somewhere deep down, will always have that crazy know it all instincts, yeah you know the one. when you do something with no thoughts or feelings, you just do it.
i've always been able to convice myself of things, and when i want something, i really want it. or when i feel a certian way, i really feel that way. its either strongly one way, nutrual, or strongly another way. i can also easily "admit" things, for example i can say that i like someone but when i like someone(oh so rarely) when i upen that up its overwhelming. i wished i liked more ppl, then i'd have more places to put my feelings, cuz i just feel like years, life times have been passing without someone worth loving and it all just been building up and i have just been waiting for it to come. and i know one day it will. one day, even if i have to live my entire life in school and complete boardom, it will all be worth it, till my natural death i will wait