"Well, how about her?" Patrick nods across the bar.

They all turn and look. "Her?" Steve asks. "She's a pig."

"She's beautiful," Patrick says. "She'll reject you."

A bet's a bet. Jeff goes over, nodding to the bartender for a round. "New here?"

Steve and Patrick exchange a glance. So far, so bad: there's twenty quid on the line.

And then: "What? Moi?"--a sudden "Heeee-YAAAH!"--and Jeff's flying across the bar, CRACK, and Patrick and Steve rush over.

"Boys," he says, "I think I'm in love," but he's still unconscious when she leaves with a frog two hours later.

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October 13, 2005