1. Why did God create woman? ***To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
2. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? ***The swallow
3. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? ***Phone her.
4. Why do women fake orgasms? ***Because they think men care.
5. What is the definition of "making love"? ***Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
6.What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? ***Slow down and use a lubricant.
7. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? ***Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your [w]hole weak.
8. How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb? ***None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
9. What's the difference between pre-menstrual tension and B.S.E? ***One's mad cow disease; the other's an agricultural problem.
10. Why does the bride always wear white? ***Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
11. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? ***Nothing, she's been told twice already.
12. How many men does it take to open a beer? ***None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
13. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? ***Made her chain too long.
14. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? ***Marry it!
15. What is the difference between a battery and a woman? ***A battery has a positive side.
16. What are the three fastest means of communication? ***1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Tel-a-woman
17. Why do hunters make the best lovers? ***Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once, and they eat what they shoot.
18.How are fat girls and mopeds alike? ***They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
19. What should you give a woman who has everything? ***A man to show her how to work it.
20. How are tornadoes and marriage alike? ***They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you lose your house.
21.Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? ***She knows she's given her last blow-job.
22. What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? ***A whore sleeps with everyone at the party while a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.
23. What's the difference between your wife and your job? ***After 10 years the job still sucks.
24. What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? ***Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
25.Why is the space between a women's breasts and her hips called a waist"? ***Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
26. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? ***When you take it off, you wonder where her tits went.
27. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? ***Put a nipple on it.
28. Why did the woman cross the road? ***What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
29. Why are there no female astronauts on the moon? ***B'cause it doesn't need cleaning yet.
30. How is a woman like a condom? ***Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick
Any more good ones, please Email me at Vin_09@hotmail.com or BV018818@hrsfc.ac.uk