ASK AWAY!
#1. Dear Doctor Jake, Why is Whoopi Goldberg so darn ugly? Scott NC
The reason Whoopi is so ugly is simple. Goldberg and Michael Jackson are one and the same......think about it. Have you ever seen the two of them together? No, Whoopi Goldberg is what you get when Michael Jackson goes 100% female.
#2. Dear Jake , I have a Isuzu Trooper. The clutch in it is really bad , and I want a dune-buggy anyways. Problem is, my only source of income is odd-jobs which pay no more than twenty dollars a week. right now, I have 120 dollars and I am hopefully buying a dune buggy for $ 1000- $ 2000. With Athletics in mind, how can I get more money faster?
I can't believe you asked me this. The problem is you need money. There are three things that men do when they need fast cash. The first will be hard, you need to sell your Trooper. Sorry, it just has to be done. The second will be easy and fun. Become a sperm donor. They pay you to do what you do every night anyways. Three, sell a kidney. You really only need one. And if you really have to you can join one of those scientific studies where they pump you full of drugs and see how long you can go without eating or sleeping. Just stay away from Lot 6. (Stephen King reference) Then you can buy a dune buggy. And one more thing.............TAKE ME WITH YOU!