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The World According To Me

The Hypocrisy of Race

This weekend I was watching the FOX NFL pre-game show. One of the features was the front four of the Carolina Panthers as interviewed by Pam Oliver. The front four of the Panthers is 75% black vs 25% white. A complete non-issue for me. Here is where I take issue.

Pam Oliver, who also is black, was asking what each person was in the group: clown, dedicated, etc. She then turned to the 25% minority and asked, "What are you, besides the White Guy?" In reply, one of the 75% majority Panthers stated that "the Rainbow Coalition makes us have 'one of them'".

Now here we are with Rush Limbaugh turning in his resignation for saying Donovan McNabb is overrated because the media desires a black quarterback to be successful.

The remark is directed towards the media, not necessarily McNabb. Now I ask you, why isn't FOX calling for the resignation of Pam Oliver whose rascist, yes rascist, remark was blatant. Why is this hypocrisy allowed to slide? Think about the effects if that one white-guy had responded, "I'm their massa".

Updated 9/22

John Walsh - Media Whore

If you have not yet noticed, John Walsh loves the spotlight and will do anything to be in it. It's disturbing that he uses his sons' death for celebrity and financial gain. Initially his work was in honor of his murdered son, but how can you rationalize a new talk show based on that same ideal? You can't. It's about $$$$ and vanity.

Star Trek: The Next Cancellation

If the Star Trek franchise is so damned popular, why are all the series cancelled? Are you nerds to busy downloading pictures of a naked Jar-Jar Binks to watch? These shows keep finding life on the UPN netowrk. A show called 'Extreme Fat and Naked Bowling' would last a few seaons on that network. Oh yeah, that band Warp 11, or whatever the fuck, that has songs dedicated to Star Trek: They fuckin SUCK. They had better be thankful that they have a (somewhat) hot chick with big tits doing back-up vocals. Not that it matters to the band that she's female, they wouldn't know what do do with her if she sat on thier faces and wiggled. I think their website is: www.gaysforshatnerthatalsolovealienanalprobes.com

RANDOM RECOMMENDATIONS

Flick: Desperado -starring Antonio Banderas and the HOT Salma Hayek.

Music: Corrosion of Conformity - Deliverance

Book: It - Stephen King

Updated 9/12

3's Company + 8 Rules = 6 Feet Under

Today I mourn the loss of John Ritter, accomplished actor/comedian. John Ritter ranks up there with the Three Stooges and Dick Van Dyke in terms of physical comedy. Now he's off to the Great Dutch Door In The Sky. For appreciation of his work, check out the following flicks:

Real Men-Also starring Jim Belushi.

Noises Off-Also starring Cripplepher Reeves, Michael Caine, and Carol Burnette.

Sling Blade-Also starring that creepy fuck Billy Bob Thornton.

ASK YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT NEW LYCODIXANAQUILIUM

I saw a commercial the other day for a new wonder drug. However, the advertisers never once said what the pill was supposed to alleviate or assist. Fire your marketing dept.

You say that you have Social Anxiety Disorder? Well, now there is a pill you can take to make you more comfortable in social settings. You can dance the night away, ask out your favorite guy/gal, and laugh comfortably as you tell your favorite stories and one-liners. Although, as the long list of side effects warn, you may SHIT YOUR PANTS! Nothing says cool and collected like defecation on the dancefloor.

I don't understand this new trend in pill-popping, but I'm sure there is something I can take for it.

PILLS I'D LIKE TO SEE ON THE MARKET

NoRape: A pill that women can use on a date to counter the date-rape drug he is using on her. It will direct blood flow away from the penis making it impossible to get an erection.

StinkAway: Makes olfactory-friendly flatulence in the scent of your choice: Pine, Cherry, Morning Mist, Seabreeze, Vanilla, and New-Car.

BeerusGogglius: No hot chicks at the bar? Don't leave, pop a pill. Makes even the most hideous of women sexually appealing. Effects last up to 12 hours so you can avoid that "horrified when you wake up" feeling.

Updated 9/1

HISTORIC BLACKOUT 2003

I know this may sound like a radical idea but I have learned that the blackout affecting NY, OH, and Canaduh was caused by the Amish! This confidential information was sent to me by an Amish informant codename: Butterchurner. It represents leader, Hezekiah Barnabus', vision of a future Manhattan. Be forewarned NY..the wagons are coming! Hide your women!

Honestly, I was sickened by the news coverage of this event. Oh No! The lights went out during the DAY! So go outside and quit your whining. Does everything in NY need to be covered nationally? Christ, someone farts too loud and the AP covers it. Yes 9-11 was a horrible tragedy, but it was an attack on America, not just on New York. You don't hear any news from OK. You do remember OK, don't you?

WENDY McBURGERBOX JR.

Lawsuits are now being filed against Fast-food companies. Enough is enough. Hey Fatty! Quit eating at McDonalds and your ass will quit spreading like a Euro disease in an Indian village. Guess what Tubby? Our capitalist economic system is based on Supply AND Demand. Put down the quadruple quarter pounder or whatever the fuck it is, and go get a salad. Companies are in the business of making money, not giving Jabbas like you heart-attacks. Let us break this down:

You + Hamburger/Fries = Fat Fuck

Fat Fuck status is directly proportionate to CEOs fat wallet. So, It can be said that:

Fat Fuck = CEO Fat Wallet

You + salad = Not Fat Fuck

As I have clearly shown, being a Not Fat Fuck does not equal Fat Wallet. CEOs hate that. What do they do? Start selling salads.

Is it just me or does 'Bitch Tits' Jared from Subway have a huge fuckin' cranium? I'm waiting for him to fall off the wagon and eat his weight in ice cream. Is that bastard so lazy he can't make his own damned sandwich at home? Maybe donate the savings to a worthwhile charity instead? Bastard!

I am deeply saddened to report that John Stossel had passed away. Sources close to John say that he died from EMBARASSMENT over what his career has become. I understand the former execs from Enron, WorldCom, and Martha Stewart and begging for interviews now. Give Me A Break John. Pull Mickey Mouse outta your ass and get back to reporting. If Barbara gives you crap, drop-kick her.

RANDOM RECOMMENDATIONS

Book: The Firm - John Grisham

Flick: Brotherhood of the Wolf

Music: Skapunkrastafunk - Skankin Pickle

I have been asked by a long-time friend of mine, Nemrac, to include some personal information about myself. So here goes: I was born in in the mid-70's in California where I continue to live. I think that I am completely average guy in every sense of the word (people who know me may disagree but this is MY page) and am completely okay with that. We all can't be rock/movie stars, right? I have a wide array of interests including, but not limited to: reading/writing, music, travel, making people laugh, and anything outdoors.

Favorite Band: Dave Mathews Band

Favorite Flick: Too many good ones. I'll go with 'Saving Private Ryan' for now.

Favorite Food: Mexican

Celebrity I'd Like To Bang: Salma Hayek

Send any comments you may have to the link at the bottom of the page.

Things I Have Learned the Hard Way

Links To Other Good Sites

Best Page In The Universe
Porn Glorious Porn
Comedy Goldmine
Visionary Darkness
Political/Social Satire
I Fuckin Luv You, Yo!
Isn't It Obvious?
Insane Genius
Day You Die
For Outdoor Enthusiasts
Random Wierdness
New On List Self Explanatory
New On List Find Your Celebrity Soulmate

Email: exitstageleft@sbcglobal.net