The Appliance Store

A blonde went into an appliance store and asked, "How is much is this TV?"
The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes."
She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that's not a TV, it''s a microwave."

The Blonde in the Library

Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so I would like to return it."
The librarian says to the other librarian, "Oh, so this is the person who took our phone book!"

3 Wishes

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island.
One day, the three of them were walking along the beach and discovered a magic lamp. They rubbed and rubbed, and sure enough, out popped a genie.
The genie said, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."
The brunette said, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."
POOF! The brunette got her wish and she was returned to her family.
Then the red head said, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."
POOF! The redhead got her wish and she was returned to her family.
The blonde started to cry uncontrollably.
The genie asked, "My dear, what's the matter?"
The blonde whimpered, "I wish my friends were still here."

A Blonde and her M&M's

A guy took his girlfriend to the movies. During the previews, she asked him if he would go and buy her some M&M's.
When he returned with her candy, she opened the bag, picked out all the brown ones and threw them away.
"Why did you do that?" he asked her.
"I'm allergic to chocolate!" she replied.

Soccer Blonde

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later, however, the blonde noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, she asked, "Would you like me to be your friend?"
The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"
"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"

Mom's Dead

A blonde comes home and finds her mom dead on the floor.
But she goes to work, and starts crying and her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "Well, my mom died."
He told her to go home but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
About an hour later her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
And she says, "Well, I just talked to my sister, and her mom died too!"

Fire in the Kitchen

A blonde was cooking dinner in her kitchen and her kitchen caught on fire.
So she called 911 and said: "My kitchen is on fire!"
They asked, "How do we get there?"
The blonde said, "Well, DUH, the big red truck!!!"

Flaky Puzzle

One day, a blonde was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.
''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' she cried.
''Honey," said her husband, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''

Alligator Shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"