Uglessica Buchanan- An all around MISTAKE

Excuse me for being extremly honest about this, but Ugless-I mean, Jessica Buchanan is really just "the worst". The points I'd like to make is that she's a whiny, slutty (YES it's true), annoying, freaky little tease!!!!

This is Jessica trying to look cute, pretty and innocent! But we all know the truth, don't we??? Dont let the doe eyed, virginal innocence appeal and "pretty" grin fool you. It didn't fool me.

Jessica constantly puts herself in front of others, hence the many years when she was determined to save herself for marriage and denied Crisshun the good lovin' he really needed!!! See, I am not this way. When Crisshun comes home from a hard day of drawing little pictures I know what he wants and it's spelled S-E-X!!! I've never denied him. Besides, sex is what love is all about anyway.

Dumb blonde Jessica also ignores us more beautiful and sexier women (like me for instance) when we give her advice. This picture is basically of her bitchy 'tude twoards me most of the time. AND I WAS JUS' TRYIN' TO HELP! Hmmmph.

Jessica hates me mostly, cause she knows Crisshun and I share a hot passionate desire for eachother that she could never fufill. Like I said before, she wanted to be celibate for a long time, and then when I came to town Crisshun finally realized what he'd been missing! Mostly- a hot steamy night of, well ya know. And it perked him right up! But ol' Jessie had to make him wait STILL with her incessant "I'm the one you love " speaches and sappy doe eyed looks. Barf.

Oh yah. Jessica, like I said is a slut. After making Crisshun live like a monk for three years she decided to do her own stepbrother!!! Then she has this lame excuse about "oh yah, like, we were drunk". PLEASE. I think Jessica did it out of spite for me really. But besides the disgusting impetus, this little rendevouz picture turned out FABBO!!! Jessie got preggers! And *I* got closer to the prize, obviously, that I already had and all.

So, even pregnant, Jessica was a bitch. And she couldn't even blame it on PMS, so whatever. She still was MEAN to me, and treated Crisshun like dirt and probably hypnotized him or something to make him stay with her. I guess hypnotizing people works better than voodoo. Damnit.

This picture screams out RETARD!!! I mean, you have hunky Crisshun swooning all over your nasty pregnant body, and you keep the blanket between you. Which brings me to my next point. Jessica is a TEASE!!!

Throughout her pregnancy I was delayed and depraved because of her!!! I mean, I was finally ready to have sex with someone else than Crisshun on Valentine's, and WHAT happens??? She has him go to lamaze class with her! WHY? Cause she knew I was gonna make her seem like a pathetic goody goody wannabe hotshot when *I* got him in bed. That's why. I even gave him condoms for a Valentine's present. Now we all know that's a good present. But Jessica ruined it. BUT....

Crisshun couldn't resist me, and came to my love suite where I was abandoned in tasteful lingerie. We were having a little sporting fun inspecting eachother's tonsils, when Renee told me Tea bounced my check for the hotel room. Oh well. At least me and Crisshun had some fun.

This is Jessica's idea of a sexy outfit. *chuckle chuckle snort snort* and she thinks she looks good with that dumb thing on her head. I guess she thinks she's "milkmaid Jessie", whatta ya think?

More to Come...

credits to pictures on this page: ABC.com, and Erin Torpey Cafe (a fabulous website on OLTL's Jessica, RoHo's rival)