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Current Report = None

Humorous Saying - Author
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. - unknown
A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple. - John Florio (1553-1625)
A diplomat is one who thinks twice before saying nothing. - unknown
A flatterer never seems absurd: the flatter'd always takes his word. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. - unknown
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. - unknown
All would live long but none would be old. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away and barefoot. - unknown
Cheer up! Remember the less you have, the more there is to get. - unknown
Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it. - Rene Decartes (1596-1650)
Credit cards are like mosquitoes. You can keep them away for a while, but sooner or later they will be back to suck your blood. - Ted Steckley (1949-)
Creditors have better memories than debtors. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies. - Canning
Do what you think is right in your heart. You'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
Dying while young is a boon in old age. - Yiddish (on death and dying)
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else. - Will Rogers (1879-1935)
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. - unknown
If at first you don't succeed, you're about average. - unknown
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. - unknown
If you'ld lose a troublesome visitor, lend him money. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
It takes less time to do something right than to explain why it was done wrong. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
It's not easy being green. - Kermit the Frog
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. - Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
Life is a big headache on a noisy street. - Yiddish Proverb
Love your neighbor; yet don't pull down your hedge. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Man has his will but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)
Middle age is when the broadness of the mind and the narrowness of the waist change places. - unknown
Most people aim at nothing in life and hit it with amazing accuracy. - unknown
No husband has ever been shot doing the dishes. - unknown
Only in America, if you fail as a person, you can always write a book. - Joyce Stevens
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. - unknown
Out of all the things I've lost in life, I think I miss my mind the most. - unknown
Patience is never more important than when you are on the verge of losing it. - unknown
People ask you for criticism but they only want praise. - Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)
Speak the truth but leave immediately after. - Slovenian Proverb
Speak when you are angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)
The difficult is done at once, the impossible takes a little longer. - Anthony Trollope (1815-1882)
The older I get, the righter my parents were. - Jeanne Warner
The other line always moves faster until you get in it. - unknown
The poor have little - beggars none; the rich too much - enough, not one! - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind but how to get the old ones out. - Dee Hock
The tongue offends and the ears get the cuffing. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
The trouble with being in a rat race is that even when you win you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin
Things come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. - Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
Three may keep a secret if two are dead. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Time is fun when you are having flies. - Kermit the Frog
When a pessimist has nothing to worry about, he worries about why he has nothing to worry about. - unknown
When we think we lead, we are most led. - Henry James Byron (1834-1884)
When you get at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. - Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945)