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“Honor your forbidden thoughts. They are merely signposts to exciting new paths you need to follow.”  Dewey color system profile


“Admit it.  Sometimes when you dance in front of the mirror in your underwear, you think you're the bomb.”  www.thespark.com


“Most people aim at nothing in life. . .and hit it with amazing accuracy.”  Tony Alessandro, self-help guru, from email


“An English professor wrote the words, “a woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: ‘A woman, without her man, is nothing.’

The women wrote: ‘A woman: without her, man is nothing.’”  from email


“Sagittarius: (Nov. 22--Dec. 21)

It's tempting to cry on a good friend's shoulder this week, but that's the easy way out. Don't settle for anything less than crying on a good friend's voluptuous buttocks.”  www.theonion.com, October 13th 1999


“I had fun and I didn’t kill anyone, and in the end, that's all that counts.”  from Lewis’s ‘Daily Glunt’



KIRSTEN, age 10:    “No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. “God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.”  from email



FREDDIE, age 6:    “No age is good to get married at.  You got to be a fool to get married.”  from email



LYNNETTE, age 8:  “Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other.  Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.”  from email


“Fascination is one step beyond interest.

Interested people want to know if it works.

Fascinated people want to learn how it works.”  from email


“Happiness is not an accident.

Nor is it something you wish for.

Happiness is something you design.”  from email


“Success is neither magical nor mysterious.

Success is the natural consequence of

consistently applying basic fundamentals.”  from email


“Scorpio: (Oct. 24--Nov. 21)
Though you're basically a good person, you have the habit of looking to strange, random sources for guidance.”  www.theonion.com, February 9th 2000


“Virgo: (Aug. 23--Sept. 22)

Although the Sun, Mercury, and Jupiter are all in Virgo this week, you shouldn't be alarmed.  That's just the kind of thing you'd expect from that slut Virgo.”  www.theonion.com, March 22nd 2000


Virgo: (Aug. 23--Sept. 22)
”Though it's true that you've got your whole life ahead of you, remember that the term "life" is not duration-specific.”  www.theonion.com


“Sometimes pursuing pleasure too vigorously could also qualify as risk taking.”  Astrology Online


“expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.”  from instant messenger profile



Rebecca, age 8:  “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.”  from email


Jessica, age 8:  “You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.”  from email


“I'm feeling stuck. Going through the same patterns day in and day out. Yeah, I'm incredibly happy and all, but I feel like there's so much more I could be doing. I want to get out of this town. I want to pile up all the grrls in a car and go on a cross country road trip. I want live in a wonderfully messy studio apartment in the city and draw all day long. I want to be in a punk rock band. I want to paint huge murals. I want to wake up next to my boyfriend every morning and have him cook me breakfast. I want to go to Japan just so I can buy cute toys and eat candy. I want to make lots of fun computer fonts. I want to have conversations with my dog so I can tell her how cute she is. I want to run through the aisles of Toys R Us with walkie talkies. I want to be a spy. I want to write a book of poetry. I want to take a paintball gun to school and shoot people with neon pink paint. I want to stop babbling and start doing something with my life.”  –from Sarah’s ‘Screams and Hallucinations’ (Friday, January 29, 1999)


“You know, I like making new friends. Mostly cause friends are very important and they mean everything to me. Everyone should be my friend. Everyone should want to be my friend. I am inordinately nice and I drive people everywhere. Besides, I am cute and I have pink hair. Yeah!”  from Sarah’s ‘Screams and Hallucinations’ (Thursday, January 7, 1999)


“I've just been observing. And what I see, I wish I could forget.”  from Lewis’s ‘Daily Glunt’


“I'm not bitter.  I don't hate most of you.”  Martin Smith, from email


“It's tacky to talk about how smart you are.  Unless it's tongue in cheek, like when I, Dan Harmon, the smartest man in the world, do it.”  Dan Harmon, from email


“Close quarters make it easy for a quick brush, a bump or even a full-fledged squeeze of the buttocks…”  –The Complete Idiot's Guide to Riding the Subway, from ‘The Review’


“im gonna bleach my hair and get a tan this weekend. maybe once i look like a backstreet boy ill get some nookie.” –from Lewis’s ‘Daily Glunt’


“It sucks being a hot guy trapped in a non-hot guy’s body.”  Jeff


“Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.”  from email


“When you lose, don't lose the lesson.”  from email


“Also, the physical distance you maintain between you and your date conveys a powerful non-verbal message.  On the one hand, if you keep away, she'll think you're not interested.  On the other hand, if you get too close, she'll worry you might try some shit.  Think of yourself as the Death Star.  Only from the right distance will you seem like a gentle moon.”  from theSpark.com, ‘How to turn “Date” into “Mate”’




“The only definite thing about the future is that it’s uncertain.”  from ‘Final Fantasy IX’


“Experience has taught me that a man like you can be very loyal for the right price.” 

‘Grand Theft Auto 3’


“To know your enemy is to defeat him before you have faced him.”  General Chang, Klingon Academy


“For the master warrior the ground will gobble up his enemies and the air will strangle his foes.”  General Chang, Klingon Academy