Theoretically, marriage sounds like an ideal situation

Theoretically, marriage sounds like an ideal situation. Its roots are embedded into the norms of society and history, dating back to thousands of years ago.

Most of us do eventually get married, and for those of us who don't, we are looked upon skeptically to say the least.

 

I have been married twice, my first marriage lasted 24 years, and I can honestly say, I was dissatisfied for most of that period. But I stayed.

Although I learned and experienced a lot of things that most people normally would not even dream of, I traveled the world; I lived in many countries. Learned to speak many languages, but deep within me I was totally dissatisfied with my partner in every conceivable way.

 

I am not an insatiable person, but he never satisfied any of my needs, and expected me to be the perfect wife. He was kind and bitter simultaneously, very judgmental, and my day depended on the kind of mood he was in. One could hardly call that an ideal or admirable situation to be in. I had to put up with it, or shut up. Leaving was not an option for me, because then he would transform into the perfect person, and truly make me believe that I was just imagining and magnifying my dissatisfaction. He would pick me up and praise me to the sky and tease and tickle me till I fell to the floor giggling, reciprocating his amorous gestures, suddenly believing that I just might be imagining the whole situation.

 

The brainwashing was being artfully administered, the mystification, I was enduring was

totally weighing me down. I started to feel guilty, and felt like a confused person. I knew I was unhappy and dissatisfied, but I did not know why I changed my mind every time he told me to?

It took years to realize that the first step to understand what was going on was to be honest with myself. At the time I did not know what being honest with one’s self meant. I thought it was just a figure of speech. I later found out that it’s the most important built  in  protection mechanism we have. It is a skill we must all strive to perfect. The end result is the firewall, which keeps out all the junk messages we are fed, all the fake promises.

The mesmerisms, which makes us undermine our self worth and question our sanity.

It restores our self worth, and deletes all kinds of brain washing techniques used on us as life goes on. You realize that if you are feeling cheated or hurt, it’s because you have been cheated and hurt and that you are not hallucinating, like some giddy jack ass,

and if you are feeling tired of your boring situation, chances most probably are that you are bored with your situation.

Be honest with yourself, trust yourself and don’t let anyone tell you how you really are feeling